A Lesser Mortal: Rebirth

for what it's worth

July 31, 2005

hurrah!

old McDonald had a farm, ee ey, ee ey oo... and on that farm he chopped some chicks... ee ey, ee ey, oo! thys has GOT to be the creepiest line ive ever come across: Congratulations, if you were a serial killer you would be... The Zodiac Killer umm, tell me again, how is that a good thyng? anyways,

If i was a serial killer i would be The Zodiac Killer. Over the course of almost 9 years in the 1970s the Zodiac Killer took the lives of over 13 people, either stabbing or shooting them to death in or by their vehicles. All the targets were the same, couples in cars off rural roads. Taunting cops the Zodiac Killer would send in encrypted messages to the local papers, describing how his past victims had died, and who would come next if they didn't post his message on the cover of the newspaper the following day. The only surviving witness described the zodiac killer as a heavy set man in a self fashioned hooded jacked that covered his face, brandishing a crossed circle that he always signed his letters with. After 1978 the killings stopped, the Zodiac's case was never solved. Kill count: 13 Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

July 30, 2005

of llamas and walruses

i havent really got much to talk about. i dont even know why im bothering to update. i'm sure i have a life. or a nose to pick. they are in fact one and the same thyng. i guess i feel sucky for abandoning my blog -- if what i'm doing can be classified as that. the rest of islamabad trip was pretty much the same... two thyngs, worth a mention: a) the sarena coffee shop... YUM!!! man... the place rocked... ok, get thys... i come from lahore... the land of food connoisseurs... and i am VERY, VERY ashamed to tell you... we dont have ONE bakery in lahore, that can match the stuff at the coffee shop... chair corner, and corner of painting. maybe it was a much needed respite from all the crappy bickering (sibling warfare {with cousins}) i had been putting up with, or maybe the place really is all that, but their blueberry mousse was to DIE for... and god knows what else they had... but i eventually had to whip out plastic to pay for my bill -- no one told me you would be charged for accessing heaven. i loved their crockery! chai, my luvlies? oh! and as i was on a diet, i was only able to sample three of their pastries. it's a must go show... trust zee hemlock... she knows her sweet. pure delight! what else? my bangles! oh yeah. i stole a friend's car when i was in islamabad. it was no fun, i tell you, cuz then i had to call him up and ask him to rescue me, cuz i drove the car into a dead end, and i couldnt put it into reverse. stopid car. met up with three 17-yr-olds. realised i was getting way old. and that i couldnt compete. one of them goes: "you're pretty! you look 20." for a 24-yr-old, going on 87, that's the sweetest thyng you can hear. unfortunately, your hearing doesnt end here... the other said: "but you've got very small eyes... almost slits." (ahan!) the third said: "pink suits you" (err... thank you... ?!) and then the first one said: "but oh! you arent fat... just chubby!" *turns very very pretty pink and dies* if that wasnt enough, my sister said somat to me today: "D, please write a short funny blog, your long philosophical blogs are very boring.... no one wants to read them." seems like i just havent been able to assess my audience :p anyways, learnt how to play golf. yup, that's me. im your hero. hah! i was more on the lines of thys - saw scent of a woman. alpacino is my hero. hoo ha! cant decide what to do next. read the bourne identity, or watch the usual suspects. i'm on a break, and dunno what to do with myself. i thynk ill go listen to cheap indian tracks. or have buttered popcorn... after all, im not fat... im just chubby. :p ------------------------------------------- i drove all the way to where i could see islamabad as a huge blot on the landscape :p

July 24, 2005

islamabad talkies

faught. drove up to pir suhava. drove down. faught. drove at 180km/h. faught. raced on wet slippery isb roads at 3 in the morning. faught summore. sang, shouted, and cursed in the middle of a restaurant. drove three families out. they thought we were drunk. we werent. faught. went to islamabad club. came out. went to PC pindi. came out. went to marriot. hmm. faught. raced my brother. won. even though i was driving the automatic. knocked on doors and rang bells of random houses and drove away. faught a lill bit more. upgraded my khala's computer. it was running explorer 2.346. read harry potter and the half blood prince. dumbledore dies. felt sad. *sigh* still here. dying to go home. havent brushed my teeth in four days.

July 22, 2005

disorientationed (out of station and have no friggin idea of what's goin on)

im in islamabad. and im hating it. well not particularly, hating it, ive got friends. but ive got no owl, no bezzy, and no crayon to play with. *sigh* people come, people go. i came from the motorway, and that's the road i'll be taking back. it's one of those thyngs i did... i followed all the directions to the motorway... these lill signposts that pointed to ISLAMABAD... and at the toll booth i asked the guy: "yeh sarak islamabad hi jati hai na?" (translation: your shoes are pretty) 0_0 although if you ask me, i wouldve been just as happy at home. but i guess i need to get out. or not. i dont feel like blogging abhi. and so im going to stop. for now no really i am. oh what! you thynk i cant stop when i want to? you dont know me, i can be very very stubborn. and i'm a man of my word. i do thyngs as i say i shall do them. just you watch me :D umm. what was i saying?

July 20, 2005

first, the headlines...

note to layoutperson: bezzy luv... maybe i should send you my wish lists more often... :) thanx heaps? i've never felt out of touch not reading the newspaper. it was an activity i consciously gave up some time back. these days, having had too much time on my hands, i found me reaching out for the links to the outside world again. and it's as ugly as it was when i saw it last. if anythyng, it's gotten worse. i turned to bbc a few days ago, to read about the "suicide bombers" of "pakistani origin". WTF man, where did the pakistani origin come in from? why cant they for once accept those individuals to be (somewhat) lawabiding citizens of United Britain? no seriously... two to three generations living in that country... these individuals dont see themselves as pakistanis, so why should you award them a nationality they have no affiliation with? *sigh*... i mean, it's just not fair. when the afghans holding pakistani passports pull weird stunts somewhere, it's pakistan's doing. when british born blue card holding indiviuals decide to blow themselves up, it's our doing. and when and if we do have a one in a gazzillion chance of being famous for somethyng... say a nobel prize in physics, we label the guy a non-muslim and scare him out of the country. wtf. anyways, here's a story that's bound to cheer you up. that's just the death-tool. shall we count the no. of houses that have been destroyed, the generations that have been wiped out before they were even given a chance to prosper... which reminds me, does anyone remember afghanistan? i honestly dont :D found thys story about an afghan warlord who's been given 20 years for crimes against humanity. umm... i have a few names i'd like to put up for the award :p *sigh* somebody stop me... i need to close all the explorer windows :$ waisay, i cant decide between these two... which story should get "how convenient" award for 2005? Polanski was too devastated to flirt with girls or Mafia boss walks free as key witnesses fall silent (ju-jitsu is actually a very interesting sport. it's dirty fighting, japanese style. so if you were to punch a guy in japan, it would be ju-jitsu). in other news, it isnt such a great time to be swimming off the italian coasts. oh buggah! my tour de europe will have to be postponed again... (obviously not bnecause of the algae, but simply cuz no one has promised to sponser it yet :p) here's a tragic story. i personally thynk these people should move. i mean. like totally. *blonde look*. (the sort of look that would get me thys) and here's somethyng special for all the loverly ladies out there... :p i thynk i need to stop. i havent done one of these blogs in months :) and i thynk i've enjoyed it. except for the initial part. it's such a weird world we live in. with so much going on, just trying to stay abreast with it all would drive you mad. and how life and death, tragedies and comedies are all coming along simultaneously... i guess it would get pretty depressing if we were living in a perfect world. there would be nothing to complain about. pakistan's been having the annual floods these days... ones we always expect but are never prepared for. so they killed about 700 people or so (the last i chked), wiped out hundreds of villages, thousands of homes... it was on the news. they were showing the plight of the people who had to pack their lives into small boats... and in that very same story, they interviewed a family who had come to the river bank for a "good time"... "the water level was high, so i brought my kids out for a picnic," said the guy. are we really that insensitive? or is my scope of thought too narrow... and i cant accept people trying to make the most of what little they have?

July 15, 2005

[how [rude] awakening]

i discovered somethyng today. for me, life has become ritual. a sort of a habit you would want to put an end to. i found myself having lunch today. i mean, i became aware of what i was doing when i realised what i was eating. the process of having walked to the cafeteria, gotten confused and lost looking for a place to sit, and pouring food in my plate were all faded realities that i wasnt consciously aware of. two thyngs woke me up. a) i was eating rice. without pulling a face. i dont like rice. but i was halfway thru my meal before that fact occured to me b) the gravy looked like it was infested with algea. everythyng i do is becoming so mechinical... my life is being dictated by the watch, and im constantly trying to keep up with time. succeeding in doing that, i have lost all sense of direction, my orientation. and in that effort to keep up with the time, i cant remember where im coming from, or where im going. day in day out a repetition of what yesterday was like, today only being better cuz i did the exact same thyng yesterday... and practice makes a man perfect and a woman even better. im so tired. {eds -- and if thys post doesnt make you want to kill yourself, we dont know what will.}

July 14, 2005

the free icecreams are begining to show

if i were to die right thys instant, i'd die a very happy man. im so bored it's not even funny. uper say orkut isnt running either. that's just the deal with having an office 5000 miles away from civilization. you cant take a cab home. the max i can do, is walk to the nearest donkey, who shall transport me to the nearest public van, where i'll get exclusive panoramic view as my seat will be on the roof top... and what a perfect day it is to cook myself... such lovely weather. outside has been gently preheated to a comfortable 700 degrees (in Celsius), with the humidity level at it's perfect 100%. should i survive the donkey (and they actually arent all that cute, trust me) the van-ride and the sun, then i'll have to find me a cab home. and i dont thynk my mom loves me enuff to pay my cab fare. speaking of which (which isnt what we were actually speaking of), i just got off the fone with a friend of mine, who happens to work at the technical side of my cellular service provider. he told me my bill. for two weeks. it's more than what i pay for two months. and i still have two more weeks to go. i'm also randomly using my old connection and when my mother sees my fone bills, she is SO going to kill me. it is so unfunny. jesus christ, man! i have over 7 hours of talk time. and that excludes all the calls to the support centre ive been making :D (see, when im going home, i call up the service centre people with one problem or another. it's good fun :D) i never knew i talked so much :s ouch. anyways, that said, i need to update my linx. and get a new layout. bezzy, do you remember my blogrolling password? dudes, not that my page gets 40,000 hits a day, but if someone wants to be linked, gimme a holler. i actually have nothing better to do then update linx. oh bugger. i want my trogdor.

July 09, 2005

the wrong shade of dark black

JC, im in a bad mood. and it's too effin early in the morning to be so pissed off, and suffering from a headache. i need to kill someone. volunteers?

July 06, 2005

i dont want to give thys post a title, cuz im like that

i dont get it. what makes people great? what is it in them, that they start traditions, and legends, that go on to live years after they do? like the expression "yer fired". the story behind that is, that the guy who established National Cash Register (now known as NCR)...well, he was a bit of an eccentric. if you worked for John H patterson, and did somethyng he didnt like, you'd come in next day to find your desk and all your belongings set on fire outside the office. subtle, no? but that isnt the point. im just wondering what i would have to set on fire to start a cool expression. i mean, let's see some famous words/expressions: halocaust 9/11 shock and awe (awww! sweet no? let's bomb a wedding party) jack the ripper umm... google (?) cant come up with anythyng else abhi. cuz im too busy having cookies, and a migrane. *groan* i wanna go home. i dont wanna work anymore. im feeling whiny and complainy and i cant thynk of anythyng smart to say. my boss has taken a day off, and that too without telling me (he's pretending to be sick). so i called him up :D of course to check up on him -- at 8 in the morning. (sugar coated revenge - he does that with me). unfortunately, he was awake. man, it's so annoying when a craftly designed scheme falls flat on your face. i went grocery shopping a couple of days ago. and i saw a man purchase 32 boxes of tissue paper. i kid you not. 32 boxes of tissue. let's assume he has 4 wives. that's still 8 boxes a wife. what do they do with all that tissue? decorate their walls? i thynk he's going to smuggle them to dubai, sell um at a hefty profit. how come i can never come up with such get-rick-quick ideas? --------- WAIT! dont answer that.... even if i had had that idea, to smuggle tissue paper, i wouldnt have had the capital requirements (of purchasing 32 family packs of rose petal). hmmm.

July 02, 2005

bittersweet memories and a box of sugar

i had a strange out of body experience today. actually it was more deja vu... but saying it was out of body makes it sound more surreal. i went to nca today. a few convoluted reasons. my entire family has gone to bhurban/isb for a holiday. and im home alone. the reason they didnt take me is cuz no one loves me. ok, that isnt true. i wasnt in the mood for a holiday. im sad at home, cuz no one is around, but i wouldve been unhappier had i gone with them. so i begged and begged and begged, and told them i'd be kicked out of my internship if i missed a day. they figured i had gotten so desperate that i had to cook up a lie, then i really should be left at home. so they went. and since then, weve been on the fone 24/7... such is life. i really didnt want a holiday. im too unhappy these days. so umm... since all of them had gone, i didnt want to go to work either. i mean hello??? so i took a day off :D and i slept till all of 10 am :"D heh. and then i woke up, and looked around, and realised if i didnt get out, the house would collapse on me. so i went to NCA. to see a very old friend. and there, down until 7pm, i found me working in clay. and talking. it was like being happy again. and deep down, somethyn that had been slumbering for far too long surfaced again. and someone in me decided i didnt want to wait for another year before i got back to my clay. yeah you heard it right, MY CLAY! it's me, my identity, my life. ive been ignoring me for too long. i deserve better (i thynk). i just might end up dong an exhibition end november. i dont know. too tentative yet. lets see if i can get permission to work in college. im short of working space. mba is all good. mnc work life is all good. but ive had better, and now i thynk i want it back. i was so desperate to work right, i had to cut my nails. but you do realise, i quit biting my nails after 13 years. and that's a very very long time for a habit. and finally, i quit, and my hands were beautiful again, and today, i had to CUT MY NAILS! :D but im too smart :D i only cut those of my thumb, and my index finger. but let's get thys straight. i cut my nails. with a pair of scissors. without thynking twice. so i could work in clay. i so rock (DONT YOU DARE COMMENT ON THYS STATEMENT). it's 15 minutes past quarter past twelve. and i dont know what to do. ive brushed my teeth, im wearing my nightsuit... maybe i'll go watch the aviator. or maybe i'll give myself a manicure. cuz ive figured slightly roundish nail tips look much much better than completely square ones.

July 01, 2005

...floored

ok. i dont know where to start *rock the party, rock the party* i could talk about the weather... or i could talk about the most amazing band in the whole wide world *oye hoye ni kurye* umm... the weather outside is HOT.... and i mean HOT... ummm no wait... hot as in chikna.... not like warm... err... but chikna as in HOT, and not humid :$... ummm lemme start over... the weather outside so totally completely rocks. grey clouds, THAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDI hawa... light shower... *Swoons and dies* it so romantix :p but yeah... when i saw the grey clouds, i was like... aha... here's somethyng that matches my mood. but that feeling of belonging and sharing cheered me up. and now im feeling lilac. *there's a party goin' on and they're playin yo favourite song...* :> GUESS WHO SAW BOMBAY ROCKERS LIVE IN CONCERT... oh yeah baby! it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome... considering it was the FIRST concert ive been to in my entire life... im feeling pretty pleased. everythyng fitted my expectations. the crowd was rude and misbehaved, around 10,000 people gate crashed in to arena, and it was hot and humid and the whole deal sucked. until came along my boys from denmark... man the rocked the house :D *swoons and dies for the second time* {eds- i thynk hemmie's gushing cuz she has a crush on the danish guy-thomas. dont tell her we spilled the beans. after all, she couldnt help it... the guy is SOO HOT!!!(in real life)} that said. umm i thynk imna go sulk in my corner again. i havent got much to do xcept wrok... and that can wait. the weather is to good to be thynking about icecream... or is it??? {will hemmie work? will she go out to enjoy the weather? or will she sit in her corner and sulk, since she's been in the pits for faaar to long and is begining to rather enjoy herself there? and in all of thys... will there be any icecream? stay toooooooooooooooned to find out-eds} [i bet yer just dying of suspense arent you?-- E-in-C] ... to be continued