im trying really hard to figure out why im not asleep yet, considering i have a tonne of thyngs to do tomorrow, starting 6am. i still have to catch up on yesterday's sleep... and the day before's... they snatched away me precious... 8 hours of it, in two days... those evil, evil, people... and when i dare stand infront of the mirror, a zombie stares back. my head feels heavy, i can barely keep my eyes open, or string a single coherent sentence. yet the minute my head hits the pillow, i find me sitting up again, wide awake. i know im not awake. and im not asleep either. and while i hope not to sound drunk, trying to get from one point in the house to another without walking into a wall is hard. i like to thynk i dont bring home stress from work... trust me, i have not a care in the world, and i try not to take thyngs to heart (im sure i dont). i know the caffeine i take at work gets all used up there. the 8 cups of coffee and tea barely see me through work. i need to sleep. really. ive become too used to doing all my chores in thys state of intermediation. half alive, half not. the alive part sees me through work, where i sit infront of a monitor all day pretending to be interested in news i really couldnt care less about; it sees me through on the roads, where i spend 1/12th of my day; it sees me through my realtionships, which i find so fake -- since im only half aware of what im saying, or doing -- and i end up feeling like a fraud. dont tell me a guilty conscience keeps me awake all day and all night? i stand in limbo, awaiting judgement.