pingu for when i have nothyn better to do

"It's joy and pain, when you try to get ahead of the game It's f---ked up but you never complain" (i bet that was really hard to guess wasnt it?)

ever noticed.... how ummmm. time seems to stand still when everythyn around u seems to be falling apart? and u thynk " thyngs will sort themselves out, all it needs is a little tym and a little patience..." just the thyngs u cant or are not willing to give? "Forgetting all I'm lacking, Completely incomplete I'll take your invitation, You take all of me"

tired. so tired. so sleepy. happy. upset/pissed. again. high. low. at the same tym. is it possible? the day had highs and had its lows. ended on a low though. and that wasnt intentional. wrote a lovely 1,000 word piece for work. and it was good. even if i say so myself. now only if the bastard hadnt stopped it. the bastard. cleared shyt out with sir. that was nice. appologised even. had felt bad about messing up. hmmmm talked to a billion ppl today. that sucked. a stupid script... have to talk to a million more. NOT cool. i wish the bastard would leave. he is going to eventually so why not now? whatever

*sigh* im so so pissed off right now. and im so pissed off... i dont thynk i even know what im doing. i mean...heh... im blogging. how bad does it get? id much rather have someone sit by me knocking some sense into thys pretty not so blonde head of mine. but no. im umm... talking to a blank screen. lets see *takes the couch* *tries to clear head* pros of current job + i have one... half the world doesnt + establishes PR... ppl know me, and respect my professional qualifications + i bring home some amount of money...however meagre + i have somethyng to do. keeps me busy. + its somethyng i enjoy doing. or i thought i did. or maybe i did, until three days ago. + am able to shirk household chores and countless shopping trips that waste tym and i come home with a free headache + i dont have to put up with guests. cons + takes 7 most imp hrs of my day + i dont get to spend quality time with my family + nothing gets done at home. house neglected majorly. feels like im living in a dump. but then i doubt id do much to improve the situation even i was staying at home. in all honesty, thats all i can come up with. so why does it feel like im losing out if i continue work? shit. im upset, havnt been able to sleep for three nights. for the first tym in my life i actually dont look forward to going to work. and once i go there, id rather sit and doodle or surf the net than actually get somethyn done. or read LORD OF THE RINGS, the trilogy. why does it feel like im being exploited by the corporate world? why do i feel like a victim? the honest to god gaddamn truth is. i dont thynk im happy. i dont thynk ill ever be happy there anymore. or maybe im being melodramatic. damn damn damn damn so if i quit... what happens then? well... a) ill be out of work b) ill be out of money...which i need desperately. c) ............................... err... and beyond that and wasting myself.... i dont thynk quitting sounds too bad.