A Lesser Mortal: Rebirth

for what it's worth

March 31, 2004

have you ever thought what life would be like if you were fish? no, i mean it, seriously. (lets pretend there were no humans to mess up the world for a minute) you'd have these vast clean deep blue oceans to swim in, all day and all night. you'd take each day as it comes, live from moment to moment... no boundaries to limit you. u'd go left or right, as you please... wouldnt be a need to warn following traffic with signals there wouldnt be those moments in life when the month outlasts the money (like mark twain said, at the end of the money, i have some month left) you wouldnt need to worry about the 'right' choices. the only choice you would have would be to eat, or not to eat you wouldnt need to clean your room you'd know how to breathe underwater, and wouldnt need to rent expensive underwater equipment your mom wouldnt keep reminding you it was tym you learnt to cook, and that eating out of boxes was unhealthy you'd only be under threat from bigger fish. not insanity, back-stabbing friends, and noise pollution there would be no such thyng as 'swimming to tone your body' you'd travel a lot, and be worldly-wise. plus u'd know where all the great underwater sight were parking wouldnt be a problem you'd have 500 siblings and 2,000 cousins, and you'd all be in the same school :> you wouldnt dream of flying jets there would be no bad memories. they say a goldfish has a memory span of three seconds :> (just a second longer than mine) *sigh* have you ever seen fish swimming around in an aquarium? they go *bob* *bob* *blink* *bob* *blink* *bob* *bob*... (and so on) it's eerily relaxing, and makes you wonder what your life is worth. i mean hey, they seem content. and all they do is swim from one end of the tank to the other. (the wild ones dont complete the length but turn back half way) i've never seen a fish chase it's tail though thys is all i have tym for right now. and anyways. my imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

March 29, 2004

Hypersonic aircraft breaks world speed record, flies at Mach 7!!! CHRIST! 7,700 kmph. thats faster than a bullet :> (which goes at mach 2... 2,743.2 kmph...) *sorry, blonde moment* to travel at that kind of speed, NASA will have to build aerodynamical poeple. but wow. if by any chance, they can build poeple carriers/aircrafts by 2025 (the tentative date for further tests), the trip to Pakistan from USA will take around four hours only. i wonder. how possible is that? anyways, heres somethyng nice oscar wilde said: when i am dead i hope it is said his sins were scarlet but his books were read

i have a thyng for cars. yeah yeah, i know what yer gonna say. all chicks are crazy about cars. well, a) im not a chick. and b) i really do have a thyng for cars. it's more of a fetish. on the way to work today, i saw a Z3. and THAT was the last thyng anyone expects to see here in lahore. sure we have the 5 series and the 7 series beamers, and E class and the S class and the C class mercs, and lately ive counted four Lexus LX 470s... and then there was thys massive red ford truck... but really, a Z3??? now thys may bore you ladies and gentlemen, but thys blog is going to be about me and my obsession. it IS my blog u know. To be honest, i was disappointed. the car just wasn't all that jazz. it fell off the padestal and crashed. sorry! now im wondering if the Z4 is all what it's hyped to be. im more of a porsche woman myself ;> it's a pity i dont bring home pictures from work, but the cars at the german auto show were worth ... a LOT. one of them was the Carrerra GT. now thys car costs umm... around $630,000 (i dont remember the exact figures). and you can just look at it and die. *spins around and dies*. the other porsches that i seem to be in love with is the Boxter S. thys one does 0-100Kms in 5.7 seconds. a bit too slow for my taste, but considering the car i have doesnt TOUCH a 100 at all, i thynk i'll just shut up. the 911 Turbo Cabriolet does 100 kms in 4.7 seconds. impressive... but it's not the carrerra. it's nice. but not the carrerra. if anyone is dying to drive a porsche by now, you can do so here. it's a list of the porsche outlets near u. and no charge. and then there is the lexus SC 2004. costs as little as $65,000. my most recent love. *trips over number and cracks head* but you know what i thynk has real class? it's like vintage, and classy. the 2004 bentley continental GT. they say it's the fastest fourseater coupe in the world. why i would want to hit a 100 kms in 4.7 seconds with kids in the back seat is beyond me, but the car is HOT. AND it's a bentley. you could consider the MR2 spyder (i love the name), or the camray solara SE V6, but i if i were to go for a toyota, i'd go for a truck :> now if i were to go on talking about trucks, that would mean hooking up another few hundred sites. and really, ive been ogling shamelessly at cars all night. and i need to stop or ill get all hyper and wont be able to sleep. so therefore i leave you with the toyota highlander (you may want to chk out the 2005 highlander hybrid also) the lexus LX 470 (link above) the cadillac escalade (im partial to the 2002 model) and the ESV the land rover discovery you may also sign me up for a range rover the Lexus GX is somehow for me, not in the same league, nor the oldsmobile bravada (AWD). oh! and we mustn't forget the big red ford truck :> ive left out the beamers and benzes intentionally. talking about them would totally kill me. if anyone out there is thynking of getting rid of ANY of the cars ive listed above, chuck um my way will ya? *dies anyways*

March 28, 2004

OMG! OMG! OMG! before i begin the blog.... (i had actually begun it, but b4 i ACTUALLY begin it) IVE BEEN QUOTED BY THE INDIAN PRESS!!! LOL! ANI picked up my entire story, chopped it down and used it verbatum... HAH! "shilpa shetty was quoted as saying... " HA HA HA.... the jokes on them. when i saw it in the paper thys morning, i felt like crying. it wasn't a story, it was the first draft. i never had tym to redo/edit it. and apparently no one in the entire paper bothered to read it either. oh well. the damage has been done. my work has been disgraced for ever. whatever. the blog: i have a thyng against 48 hour days. i have a bigger thyng against two straight 48 hour days. where u sleep for 3 hours only. u do too much, all in a hurry, and then when u sit down to breath, *woosh*... sets in short-term amnesia. but i promised ya'll id tell how it went with da injins 'n stuff yo! so imna try narrate dat, tryin 'ard not to fly ovva da tangent. (sorry abt that, i just finished bad boys ii. i thynk ill watch it again, just to count the number of tyms they swear) basically the Royal Palm Golf and Country Club* (fondly known and RPGCC) had invited the indians for a show, like they did jagjit singh, a coupla months back. long story cut short, Shaan sang, akshay danced and shilpa kissed the pakistani flag. i was supposed to interview them but that fell through. no hard feelings. but i DID attend the press conference, and man, it was a fiasco from the word go. did you know akshay kumar is actually really good looking in real life? no im serious! there is a problem with stars, that once you see them up close, they become human, more approachable, they lose that star quality. thys guy sat less than 6 feet away from me, and for the entire tym i was there, not for a moment did i see his persona slip. he left looking as much a pin-up guy. words i'd use to describe him: debonair. slick. extremely sharp/quick witted. i swear the guy had the paki press eating out of the palm of his hand. it was sad and pathetic on their part, and an embarrassment on mine. the worst was when everyone (men ages 25-45) ran to him for autographs as he was leaving. hell-O...can we please show some dignity? see but that wasn't too bad, after all, we are human. bad was when photographers trampled and fell over each other as shilpa shetty made an entrance... and then the racket. when mr kumar was talking, everyone was asking questions (read: dumb questions) in an orderly fashion, listening to him, and all went rather smoothly. when ms shetty came, hell broke lose. i took my dictaphone, placed it right under her mike, and took a back seat to watch the show. it was hilarious, and extremely depressing at the same time. the height was when one of the organisers had to step up and say "please people, lets show these poeple we are a civilized nation. let us give them a good image to take home." mark my words sam gamgee, we just aint ready for tourism. in a nutshell. the indians were smart, witty, polite, and GROOMED. the pakis in comparison were everythyng but. i hid my face and sat in a corner. i did understand though, why journalism is looked down on, in pakistan. it's like...if u cant go anywhere, do anythyng, or if you are a highschool dropout, journalism is the option to take. im tired. i need my sleep. ive been called blonde enough today anyways, shilpa is getting flak for kissing the pakistani flag. and i getses to be preciouss legolas again. do u have ANY idea how many TLOTR quizzes there are out there... its crazy! i loved thys one :> footnotes *RPGCC = an elitist country club for the filthy and the rich, who have too much money, and even more tym. they serve cocktails, hold "charity balls", and membership costs more than my car.

March 26, 2004

YES! YES! YES! it's been tried, tested and attested! women are better drivers than men. thou shalt not question official statisticsess my precious! (In your face... doubters!) anyways. im in no condition to blog. 4 hours from now, i go to interview Shilpa Shetty, Akshay Kumar, Sunil Shetty... Lord knows who else will be there. i dont know whether to laugh or cry. i'm thynking of doing an adaptation of The Lord Of The Rings -- Bollywood style. Amitabh Bachan would get to be gandalf, and shahrukh khan Frodo. John abraham can be Aragon. i thynk i have a winning cast! *cringe!cringe* (my knowledge of bollywood is totally freaking me out here... HELP!) thys is what happens when one has too much tym on their hands. yea! i get to be legolas. (and all because i wished for pointed ears?!?!?) you can take the TLOTR character test here quote of the day: my fire truck accidently scratched your fire truck while i was trying to park it. sorry!

March 25, 2004

The ODIs between India and Pakistan were played on a dream script. India wins first match, as they are guests, Pakistan wins second to level series, wins third to prove an upper hand and lift spirits, loses fourth so India isn't knocked out of the game, and loses fifth, so India can take home the Samsung cup and return as heroes. Now if I had blogged thys two weeks ago, when I was about to, my claims would have been met with less scepticism. But now that the matches have ended, I may be labelled a 'typical paki who cannot accept reality… the paki cricket team sux'. Call it what you want mate, I know better. A friend of mine from work was really excited about getting tickets for the matches scheduled for Lahore. I told him there was no point in going, because Pakistan was going to lose both. "Don't tell me!" He said, "You are one of those cynical types who think all games are fixed. That's so disgusting!" I guess one reason I didn't want to put it down in writing before was, well... reading something somehow makes you believe it... "if someone's taken the effort to write it, it must be true" And you sit there praying till the last minute you are wrong, and that rumours of pre-decided cricket matches are false. You pray till the last minute that politics is kept away from the pavilions. You pray till the last minute that the game is played in its true spirit, and that may the best team win. But that doesn't happen in the real world. In the real world, someone decides we want to bring the Indian team to Pakistan, let them win the one days, and let Pakistan replies by winning the test series. Oh, hurrah! In the real world, the umpires swallow lbws, top bowlers bowl three to five extra overs, and top order batsmen throw away their wickets. In the real world, these cricketers are pawns on a chessboard, being played by higher powers. And that's what's disgusting. One good thing came out of knowing who would win in the end though. My friend's husband was betting on the wrong teams. For the last match, I told him to put his money on India. *Shrugs* And how have the Indians been faring in Pakistan? Well, despite my sickness, I insisted we go out and play 'spot the Indian'. It was fun. Went to purani anarkali (the infamous food street), where they were present in hordes, and the Pearl Continental, where a lot of them are staying. (and the security there is worth a blog of its own). Sardarjis from Amritsar, snazzy kids from mumbai (with their camcorders), and aunties from delhi. All seemed to be having a good tym... except the few unsuspecting ones, who got trapped by the typical Lahori crowd. Jugatbaz marasi kaum. It was sad, really. These innocuous kinds were quickly turned into fodder by groups of young boys out looking for some fun. And I hear a sardarji was beaten up badly at the Lahore stadium today. No one came forward to help, or to stop the jerks, and when finally the cops arrived (after all had been said and done), they turned a blind eye, in their usual fashion. So much for security, bah! I wish I could find the sardarji and apologize for what happened. Because what those guys did, reflects badly on all of us. *Sigh* I don't think the media is going to come forward and report these events; that would be going against the flavour of the month. Fortunately, stories of such confrontations have been few and far between. I wonder. Will we ever really be prepared to accept guests from across the border? And they us? Hatred borne and bred for over half a century cannot be extinguished in one lousy cricket season. And why the sudden winds of change? Why the sudden love thy neighbour? Love schmuck? Someone is planning a fast one. Who and when... that is the question. Anyways. Read thys somewhere. India say dosti manzoor; Sindh say dosti Namanzoor Hah! Ha ha!

March 21, 2004

oh! happy news. my editor has resigned :> he leaves in a week! *sings* Haaa lay lu yeah! Haaa lay lu yeah hallelujah! hallelujah! *picks up momentum* hallelujaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *glass around room shatters* No masla! that's a small price to pay for freedom. *sigh* i need to cut some slack here. the guy isnt that bad. he's just not one of the most sincere people ive met. ive been trying to write some really mean stuff about him (all true), but i cant bring myself to. frankly, i wouldnt normally care about my co workers, but ever since thys guy has been around, ive threatened to quit my job 3 tyms in two months. have thrown tantrums in the EinC's office, and even walked out on him once. (i salute my EinC for being so patient with me). but at the end of the day, its them senior, older people at work, who talk sense into you, and before you know it, you are all pacified and back at your desk. ten thyngs i hate about you... i) he is one of the most irresponsible, nonserious people ive come across. - he has the habit of walking off in the middle of the day, WITHOUT telling anyone. Once we find out, i have to fill in FOR him. that means doing my work, as well as his, in the alotted time. ii) he doesnt show up for work. at whim. excuse: "im too hung over from last night" aah right! so THAT makes it ok. iii) he treats some people at the office like second class citizens. iv) he bowdlerizes my stories, till i dont recognize them. (but he does that to everyone if that's some consolation) v) he generates negative energy. - ever since he's been around, ive stopped working. ive quit taking interest in my job, go in late for work EVERYDAY, and once im there, all i do is socialize (not that i mind, but i feel guilty about it) and he can get away with being a jerk because his daddy owns the paper (and half the city). now if it were Utopia, thys would not only mean freedom, but also a promotion for me. since it's not, they'll probably bring in someone else to take over... a massive probability being my brother. yes my own flesh and blood brother. if that happens, im going to find a cliff in Lahore and jump off. out of the frying pan, into the fire. in other news: no place i'd wanna hang out

March 20, 2004

hunting grounds So them Pak forces have marked and cordoned an area where they suspect AlQaeda members are hiding. "Fierce fighting" has ensued, and a few of the uniformed men are down already. I know wars are fought with strategy, weapons and a lot of money, but maybe at tyms, the generals should refer to relevant literature, perhaps just for the heck of it. It may help you know. Like, in thys case, MM Kaye's Far Pavilions may tell the big green men all what the Afghans are about. The love story talks in length of the British military policy in Afghanistan, which not only sparked the Second Afghan War, but also ended in disaster Britain's attempt to establish a mission in Kabul. Basically, from the little I know of FATA (Federally Administered Tribal Area), I feel that it's as if we "WISH" it were FATA. The terrain is hostile, and life difficult. The tribes, who have found survival in a land of high mountains, little water and even less comfort, have never accepted Pakistani law or its governments. And they aren't about to now. All attempts to bring it under wing have failed miserably. The wars Ms Kaye describes from over a hundred years ago, were all lost by the british raj only because it lacked the acuteness required to overcome the severe landscape. In her book, she described the Pathans as a warring tribe, and said that that was all they've ever known and done. And if u look at history, it sorta seems true. When the afghans weren't fighting amongst themselves, they were fighting the British, once Pakistan came about, they were busy sponsoring the Redshirts, then they fought with Russia for 23 years, and after THAT invasion ended, along came the Taliban (revenge paki style) and viola! the last ten -- fifteen years have been spent fighting them. And the Waziri tribes have been in the middle the whole tym. They are a race of independent, murderous, hot-headed, and vain men, and their isolation (cultural, social) has made them extremely self-reliant. They know the mountains like I know my ice creams. They know the hideouts, the passes, the seasonal passes, the secret passes, the caves, the rivers, the crevices and all the bottomless pits that are hidden in the mountains. They know when to fight, and when to cut their loses. And sure as hell, they know where to hide their guests. Provided Osama / Zawahiri are actually with them, there is no way our men can walk in and walk out of Waziristan, booty in hand. I for one think the waziris are fighting simply cuz it feeds their blood lust. "hmm! I'm kinda bored today, lets go catch some green!" Sending in our forces to fight in the mountains is as smart a move as is sending an American soldier to wage a war in Iraq, mid June. How successful a man from the plains (as are most men in the army) can be, on broken ground and tortuous ravines, is anyone's guess. I just hope precious lives aren't being lost in a ghost chase. for more on british raj, u could watch the man who would be king. if nothyng else, it has sean connery and micheal caine :) as iraq assault turns 1. I could probably show you pictures more real, more gruesome, and less poetic. Aargh! These people make me sick with their idealism. in other news: anyone care for a dead gorilla?

March 19, 2004

presence of dihydrogen monoxide creates havoc in small town "City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production." thys chemical has known to cause death on inhilatation, depositing itself in lung tissue, causing a sensation similar to drowning... too much of it in rivers can cause water to swell (increase in volume), and in turn flood the nearby areas. and frankly, it has a dangerous sounding name. that aside, it has potential in the sense that it helps in the generation of hydro-electricity, and is vital for life. they say 70% of a human body is made up of dihydrogen monoxide. erm!!! but if the human body is 70% water, and 70% dihydrogen monoxide, that would be 140% in all.... no wonder the average american is obese. sheesh!

March 18, 2004

my mind is stuffed w/ the thoughts of my lost i.d card. it's in no condition to blog. ive been looking for it for two straight days now, and its driving moi crazy... "my preciousss is lost!" *stupid stupid gollum... smacks head* it's like im in the middle of doing somethyng, and *thought bulb lights up*i thynk of a place i may have missed in my search... and *poof* the hunt is on again. thys card hunting season is driving me mad(der). or maybe im just an obsessive compuslive dillusional schizophrenic. (hah! so they DO have a name for it) anyways, going down memory lane (10am yesterday morning) i thynk of all the places i visited, quaid-e-azam library being one of them. it sits smack in the middle of lawrence gardens, which were sometym ago renamed bagh-e-jinnah for patriotic reasons. they hopes getting rid of british names for roads and parks will get the rulers out of our systems for good. (like when u wash dirty laundry in ariel. comes out sparkling clean.) im still trying to understand why 'they' are tryin to get rid of our heritage. so our lives were worse than those of dogs for a long long tym... so? live w/ it. and if possible, try learn somethyng from it! ok so the british ruled over us for 150 years, and in that tym they rejected and succeeded in destroying our heritage and everythyng that went with it, but really, how strong were our roots anyways, that all it took was one blow? in less than 200 years, we forget our literature, our religion, our languages, our traditions, our history... i dunno... need we be so quick as to blame them gora sahibs? "many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. can u give it to them? then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement" forgive me, for i digress. i for one am totally cool with all the Mall roads and the Convents and the church schools we have. the city is growing, cant we just name the new areas after our muslim heroes(!?!)...? having spent a day exploring the city i have lived in for over twenty-two years, i have come to one conclusion. the only buildings worth anythyng in lahore are those that were built by the queen's men, over a hundred years ago. their architecture is superb, notably that of Bhai Ram Singh (the only desi whose work was acknowledged by the snobs running Mayo School of Arts). while i can find no websites for BRS, if you google the guy, plentyov pictures of his work will come up) he did a bunch of fabulous buildings, including the now in ruins, run by incompetent asses, filled with replicas, Lahore museum; National College of Arts, Lahore High Court, (2), GC Univeristy, Lahore secretariat... and the list goes on. Bhai ram singh was a genious, and so were her majesty's men (for hiring him). it's a national tragedy, that lahore hasnt seen good architecture since then. Nayyer Ali Dada is a much hyped architect, but personally i believe he guy is nothing short of a rip-off... (no offence meant). most of the public buildings he has designed in lahore have been heavily inspired by the muslim architecture of spain and turkey. the houses he has designed for various government projects were again, all drawn catering to western needs and requirements. (i would know, i live in one) and frankly, the facades are hideous. if you are still reading say aye! nations and civilizations leave their mark through their architecture. and when i look around today, i see visual monstrocities cropping up all over the place. it is said, doctors bury their mistakes, and architects build them. oh man! we are a nation plagues with errors and aberrations. im a sucker for beautiful buildings and i fell in love with the library i visited. tall white corinthian coloumns, lofty ceilings, huge halls, stairways out of the sound of music... and the silence. uff! it's out ov thys world! someone wanted to know why i thynk lahore is so special. well, for one, the city has a history older than tym itself. ok so i exagerrate a little, but still. it's old and still alive. then, it has these buildings that are to die for. *sigh* and anyways, there's no place like home :)

March 17, 2004

i never thought 'a long day' could be measured in hours. well whaddya know? the length of mine was 26. and its still going. you know a lot can be accomplished in a day, if u begin it early morning? THAT was news for me, cuz my mornings dawn at sunset. yeah! yeah! u r right in saying it's wrong, it's a bad habit, it messes up the insides... (at thys point i've stopped paying attention) ... but i have a legit excuse... i just dont have it right now. so anyways, one of my better deeds of today was visiting my room. or 'the dump' as my mother fondly calls it. so from backaching hell, i bring to u, a few thyngs i found -- and found out abt myself -- randomly ordered: -- my driver's liscence. i wasnt even aware i had lost it. u dont need ID to get liquor around here. and u definitely dont need it to drive. -- i could actually draw, once upon a tym. and i was good. -- lead is poisonous. for skin as well as when inhaled. -- a gillette razor blade. i guess that was from my suicidal days. (not that i ever attempted it, but what on earth???) -- "ladybird book of tables" ... excuse me? -- i could paint as well. oils, waters, pastels... -- 3 cheque books. all mine. (im glad i've found them. now will someone pls deposit some cash in my accounts, and remind me how my signatures went?????????) -- school reports from grade 7... " a rowdy, boisterous child, easily distracted" i thynk the teacher meant i talked too much and never paid* attention in class :> -- a book called "7 habits of highly effective teens". it was a gift from a friend(?). -- pocohontas colouring book. ages 3 & up. *ouch* -- brochures for art schools in us, uk. i wanted a degree from slade, or rhode island. once upon a december. -- after 6 hours of back breaking work, the room is only half clean. dust that has taken 4 years to settle, will probably take four more to go away. -- i own a discman. i found it buried alive under my 'stuff'. -- i need to visit my room more often. once every week to dump junk in isnt good enough. -- there are 15 mosques in the area, and 15 adhans go off at fajr. so you dont really end up hearing even a single one properly. -- i have a very nice room. underneath that filthy, repulsive facade, is a pretty blue carpet and black furniture. -- i like yoghurt. there can be no other explanation for the empty yoghurt carton i found under my bed. -- i still know the lyrics to OMC's 'how bizarre' ... -- four years is a long time. -- if i dont sleep soon, ill die. sort of. i had to clean my room to look for my college i.d card. which ive obviously kept in a very safe place. i just dont remember where. so after 6 hours of back breaking labour, i have a spotless (almost) room, but still no i.d card. pray for me p.s a parting thought: "No woman, plain or pretty, has any common sense at all. Common sense is the privilege of our sex, and we men are so self- sacrificing that we never use it." *thys blog has not been checked for spelling errors. so there

March 16, 2004

it's gonna be a long day ahead. the sun's been shining since ive been up... that'd be 6am... and the weather forecast predicts it will continue to do so for another 12 hours. meaning the entire tym ill be out getting my provisional degree and transcripts. awe man! i dont understand WHY offices have to be closed at night. it's so much nicer then. and im wide awake. will someone get me some coffee please? u know what i'd really like to do right now? crawl into bed and go back to sleep. wake up not before 2pm. *ah! bliss* oh man! i gotta stop torturing me like thys. christ! anyways, here's a thought: "the ballpoint pen has been the biggest single factor in the decline of the western civilization. it makes the written word cheap, fast, and totally without character" temme abt it. or in fact, dont bother. am too sleepy to care. in other news: i need to start cooking again. havent had good food in years.

March 15, 2004

Jesus! i hate sad endings. had i known before, i wouldnt have put meself through the 1,008 pages of misery... or maybe i just might have. who knows. tolkien is by far one of the best story tellers.... i wouldnt say forrest carter is anywhere near tolkien, but the fact that he was able to pull off a stunt like the education of little tree without being suspected... well that earns hims some marks from me. carter misled people for years, before announcing that the book was in fact fiction, and not an auto-biography of a cherokee indian, as was previously believed. and for a very very long tym, it stood as the greatest book i had read. i was pretty young (and naive) when i stumbled across it, and was able to believe in the utopian world carter wove. i learnt a lot of lessons from the book, about living in harmony w/ nature, taking only what was needed, that knowledge and wisdom werent just confined to books, and that everyone had a right to live the way they wanted. most of thys world was destroyed as i grew older, or wiser, as i like to thynk, and the remaining beliefs were destroyed when i learnt my favourite author was a fraud :) having spent around a week in tolkien's world, it's so hard to believe it was fiction -- make believe -- a world locked within a few pages. the characters, their fears, their journey... it all seems so real. and i know it took all my will power to not turn over to the last chapters and see how the tale would end. now me's gonna go get the movies :> well anyways, so while i was going thru the classified section, looking for a trainer for my 9 month old lab, i came across thys: "AUSTRALIAN National 2 Pakistani sisters, highly qualified, beautiful, good height age 26 and 28 seek match from good family educated boys between 30 and 32 doctor, engineer, MBA willing to settle in Australia. Send photograph and photostat of degree and I.D card to ... " photograph, photostat of degree & i.d card... do we care abt personality, character, habits, family???... i dont thynk so! its sort of depressing really, when parents have to advertise their children like thys. what i dont get though, is well... in all your family, friends, acquaintances... you found no one worthy of your daughters. fair enough. what makes you thynk, the guys who are worth them will be looking for brides they can order through mail? wouldn't they have found some on their own, like women in real life? then there was thys one which went like : "39 yrs old assistant professor grade 18 alone seeking unmarried divorcee... " i dunno man, unmarried divorcees ... aren't they a dying breed...pretty hard to come by these days? *sigh* the whole thyng is still pretty depressing. as it happens i havnt been to work in three days :> and am kinda begining to miss it now:) i guess i should prolly pop in tomorrow. or somet. and no my flu isnt any better, thank you for asking :p

March 14, 2004

im in a foul mood. i've got less than 150 pages of TLOTR to go, and i cant seem to sit through them... too much blood and violence i tell u. and it doesnt help that im sneezing every thirty-five seconds *yes i timed it* *bless me* (and while he is at it - blessing me that is - may he also grant me unlimited wealth and absolute power. amen) While im at it: damn technology. or me ignorance. first the shoutbox goes crazy on me, and now the archives wont work. how cool is that? not only is it extremely difficult to work on a website when u know jack abt html and dont have frontpage.... but it's extremely frustrating as well. stupid stupid computers. i wish they had taught us 'construction and building 101: for beginners' in college. stupid college. and lets not forget the flu. it's gone to me brain. ooo me precious bad flu! anyways, here are some nice pics... birds more birds, sunset thrown in for effect and then the ol hands with candles they make great wallpapers :)

March 13, 2004

to what she said, i quote Alice: `Cheshire Puss,' she began(...),`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. `I don't much care where--' said Alice. `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. `--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation. `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.' only here, lets substitute me for alice, and then me for the cheshire cat.

i like to thynk i had dinner w/ Mr Jamali and his entourage today :> sadly, while that isnt true, i can safely say i saw him and his goons perform live for an audience of around 900 people. actually he was presiding the 2nd convocation of Government College University Lahore, which on the whole was a pretty cool affair. ishmartly dressed commandos and elite force men were swarming the many acres of the 164 year old institution, the Mall Road had been sealed off for security reasons, and the 700 or so graduates were dressed like ringwraiths :) or sort of :) onstage sat Mr Jamali, Gov. Punjab Khalid Maqbool, the chief minister Pervez Elahi (who coincidently spells his name just the way Prez Gen uncle Musharraf does), the provincial edu minister and the vice chancellor of the uni Mr Khalid Aftab. and im proud to say i got them all right, including the IG Masud Shah, and a few other hot shots. now while Mr Jamali is the prime minister of the country, and we honour him completely, and mean no offence when we refer to him as His Heaviness, the full realization of his size and stature hit me today. dressed in a red velvet gown, ufff he was looking soooooooooooooooooo cute! you know the white stuffed bears in red coats that are put up in shops for valentines'? well, he was looking no less. and how i stopped myself from running up the stage to give him a big cuddly bear hug... i can so imagine him sitting in a top level security meeting with heads of various states discussing nuclear proliferation or somethyng, when say, one of the heads would be hit with inspitaion and he'd say: "hey! i know a polar bear who looks like u!" (and i mean it as a compliment...honest!) i HAVE to find pictures of him in that red gown to put up here :D i dont care how rigged the elections were, how unsecure the assemblies are, or how Mr jamali is unfit to be prime minister as he desolved the house while he was CM. the guy has found a fan in me. no more jabs at yer weight Your Heaviness! no sir'ee! in other news: after a fair amount of thynking, i have come to the conclusion that ALL multinational food chains in pakistan should be shut down. i dont starve myself all day, so i can let me slip everytym i cross a Dunkin' Donuts outlet or drive by a McDonalds.... which is exactly what i did today. i had a magnum for breakfast at 12pm, a strawberry shake for lunch at 2pm, and then ended up starving me precious out of guilt the whole day. since i did a good job of that, i treated me to glazed munchkins and a boston cream for dinner :| those evil multi national coorporations. tricking us unsuspecting people like that. its SO wrong.

March 12, 2004

im trying really hard to figure out why im not asleep yet, considering i have a tonne of thyngs to do tomorrow, starting 6am. i still have to catch up on yesterday's sleep... and the day before's... they snatched away me precious... 8 hours of it, in two days... those evil, evil, people... and when i dare stand infront of the mirror, a zombie stares back. my head feels heavy, i can barely keep my eyes open, or string a single coherent sentence. yet the minute my head hits the pillow, i find me sitting up again, wide awake. i know im not awake. and im not asleep either. and while i hope not to sound drunk, trying to get from one point in the house to another without walking into a wall is hard. i like to thynk i dont bring home stress from work... trust me, i have not a care in the world, and i try not to take thyngs to heart (im sure i dont). i know the caffeine i take at work gets all used up there. the 8 cups of coffee and tea barely see me through work. i need to sleep. really. ive become too used to doing all my chores in thys state of intermediation. half alive, half not. the alive part sees me through work, where i sit infront of a monitor all day pretending to be interested in news i really couldnt care less about; it sees me through on the roads, where i spend 1/12th of my day; it sees me through my realtionships, which i find so fake -- since im only half aware of what im saying, or doing -- and i end up feeling like a fraud. dont tell me a guilty conscience keeps me awake all day and all night? i stand in limbo, awaiting judgement.

March 11, 2004

now that i have a blog, know how to work it, and have all these brilliant ideas for what i want to put up on it, i find me hard pressed for time. here's a little somethyn thats worth an entry, and doesnt take too much tym copy pasting :) Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference between having an open mind and having holes in one's head?" --Richard Schultz

March 10, 2004

that's one reason why you should only send death threats from office email

March 08, 2004

now all i need to figure out, is how to fix me archives, change the fonts, and put in pictures. oh, and edit the links. or i could signup for fotolog. hmph

March 07, 2004

the stupid quiz results had to go. sorry. they looked aweful Jesus! i was supposed to grow out of thys stuff ages ago. On another note, i bought pearls today. now all i need are diamonds. any offers?

March 06, 2004

poetic justice im scared of going to bed now. ive been up all night, editing. and who would've thought id be correcting my teachers' (collective) mistakes? muhahaha. (for background information, ive been editing a journal the folks at college are publishing. it has all sorts of 'arty farty' ppl commenting. and i got to edit it. {i thynk it was my impeccable engerleesh they fell for}) right. so as i was saying... marking mistakes with a red pen was fun. almost Machiavellian :> and who would've thought?

March 05, 2004

EEK!!! ive gone font-freakin-mad :s chk thys out. and if that isnt enough, try thys ... it has alladin, and pokemon and rothenburg and... im going to mad installing them all. please abez! can i use them all on my blog :> :> :> can i? can i? can i? pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez? and you can get 1000 fonts here right. well thys otta keep me hard at work. i love my job

March 04, 2004

A festival of mourning turns bloody: "The 10th day of Ashura, March 2, was a bad one in Iraq: bombs in Karbala, bombs in Khadamiya. After an afternoon spent in hospitals, I went to the central morgue in Baghdad. It was semi-refrigerated and clammy and smelled like sweetish cloying meat. Some bodies lay on the floor, twisted among blankets and bits of bloodied rag and clothing; some bodies, naked, were stretched out on autopsy tables, with parts of limbs and personal effects in trays to the side. The scene looked much, much worse than dead people do in movies. These were not simply cold bodies but shreds of people: the remnants of a child, a blown-off head, legs without any torso. The morgue official, an overly jolly man, picked up a half a jaw and wriggled it at us. 'Look, you wanted to see. Look!' And in this nasty, cold, dismembered place of horror is where family members must come to identify their loved ones." i wanted to add perhaps a somewhat similar experience of when i was in kashmir. somehow the words just dont come.