shashkaaaaaaaa!

ehm... folks. chk this out i dont have the energy to post right now. but i think ive moved. details later. c ya! wouldnt wanna be ya!

a lesson learnt in time

im numb. it's over. my mba is finished. i have nothing to live for no longer. i mean. i have nothing to do. man, im feeling weird. i mean... im not really feeling anything. hence the numbness. but the fact that i can feel that im numb is making me all weirdy and stuff... u know what i mean, right? remember when it was going to start? and three days after it had started? i recall a post i started with "14 days down, two more years to go" i wouldnt say the years have flown by, and that pata bhi nai chala... bohat pata chala hai... there were days that wouldnt end, there were days that wouldnt begin... there were days that went by as i stood there blinking... there were days where i saw my life pass me by, yet i didnt feel i was a part of it. i'm sure i made an active effort to forget everything i had learnt... or to not learn anything... i guess once i was in teh school, i had decided i wasnt there to learn... but only to kill time. i'd know how much time i was looking to kill, if i knew exactly where i wanted to be when... but until that was going to happen, i was going to hang around in airconditioned class rooms... tis over. i cant believe it. the mba is done. my reason for waking up to another meaningless day is gone. i feel like ive been robbed. im not kidding. but i guess i gotta grow up right? (WRONG!! NAH UNH BUDDY, THAT AINT HAPPENIN IN THIS LIFETIME) i guess all of this brings me back to the question of life, the universe and everything... or the answer of it... i dont know... im not too sure of what im thinking right now. the towel day is 6 days from now. guess who wont be celebrating it. ive made friends. ive lost some. ive learnt teh importance of family. ive learnt a lot about myself (the conclusion here was, i dont like me much). ive learnt here, taht nothing lasts forever. not people, not relationships. ive lost some of sunshine. most of my mojo. (not really, but i thought it would be a good line to put here) ive lost my happy-go-lucky streak. i know for a fact, ive become too cynical. and not in a nice way. u know that innate goodness of the human being i believed in? i dont anymore. now, a person is guilty until proven otherwise. and if anything, ive learnt to be all the things i despised in others. "tact, diplomacy, self-righteousness." perhaps it is too late in the day for me. i should go sleep. i should perhaps sleep my troubles away. or maybe it is just too late in life for me. ---------------------------------------------- somewhere in there, i had a good time too. im sure of it. i have pictures of me laughing. i have lots of pictures. too bad that is all that is left. it's over. somethings tells me, i dont think i really wanted it to end. forgive me if ive posted these lyrics before... but today, they hold a whole new meaning. Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life. So take the photographs and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf In good health and good time. Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life

umm... if i were on a chess board... would i be a pawn, or a queen? (knights are not an option, they look like horses... i rather like to think my features are more bovine) anyways... so between the queen and the pawn, which would i be, and why... seeing as how both are played by the same hand and niether has a say in where it wants to go...

you know what? i really dont have teh answers it's hard enough making teh effort looking for answers to satsfy my own dilemmas, without you burdening me for quick fix solutions. if you cant make the effort to look for an answer, then just dont ask the question.