my blog isnt loading. how annoying is that?

:) [hemlock doesnt feel much like talking today, so she's smiling politely, pretending to be interested in her life, and you, when, in fact, she has no idea of who or where she is, or if she matters anymore, or why the birds bark and the trees chirp and the cats act the way they do. hemlock is totally spaced out, and finds that a comfortable zone to be in. -- eds]

chomp chomp. i just et half my post.

it's almost 9, and elton john is being played on the radio *grumble* who listens to McQueen so early in the day? umm, no, let me rephrase that, who listens to McQueen in this day and age? anyways, so ummm, this friend of mine sent me a very hot looking Harry Potter bag from teh states recently. so, in my most chavelrous and gallant armour, i demanded he give me his address, so i could send him something in return too. he's a lovely chap, who blogged for like, two and a quarter posts. so umm, he like sends me his address after i bug him constantly for like weeks, and the rest of the story im not going to narrate abhi, cuz i just realised im not in teh mood. mu.ha.ha.ha. -------------------------------------------------------- i love compliments. i recently forwarded an article to some friends. and i got a reply that said: woman, the article rocks. and you bajree, eent and mountain. why thank you, i always knew i was construction material.

wise men say...

i found this veryold joke in my mailbox. hemjoy: American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. "You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?" The American replied, "15-20 years." "But what then, senor?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed, and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!" "Millions, senor?" replied the Mexican. "Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos." {thank god im not a harvard MBA -- [a case of sour grapes hemmie? - eds]} -------------------------------------------------------------------- so like anyways, does one go to hell for typing god in lowercase? or does it depend on which god you are talking about? -------------------------------------------------------------------- anyways, i seem to be getting somewhere with my johari window, but i think i've lost interest after 11 people filling it out for me. i mean, one can only be so self obsessed and narcissistic... beyond which, you just get plain irritating. waisay bhi, i get sick by excessive khushamad... and this window has no "negative" attributes. i find it hard to believe im as perfect as that... actually, what would be more interesting than knowing the good things about me would be knowing the bad things about me. but i already know them all. pretty much. no wonder i hate personality tests and "other windows into your soul" -------------------------------------------------------------------- in other news, ive decided subah bohat swairay swairay ho jati hai... morning happens very early in the day. someone needs to work on that.

the last dance

i was thinking, the reason adults stop having fun, is because as they grow up, they learn about and begin to fear pain. and that's just so sad. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- anyways, so like, i read this word "Islamofascists" here. how fascinating :D ummm... death to the... umm... boston globe, ben and jerry's and umm... toys R us. Allah O Akbar! [eds: *phew* arent we glad she got that outta the way]. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- here's an amazing article. totally - amazing. take a minute out to read it. im bored of blogging. for now. imna read the sorcerer's apprentice. or somat like it.

life - that distateful joke

Bad Joke Generator - Hemlock Jokes they are bad jokes, really. take my word for it. trust me. no, really, i MEAN it! ok, suit yourself. so anyways, like fill out my johari window for me plz? this is what i gots so far. see how tewwibly ive started spewlling this? all common and stuff. khair. ta.

smoke some pot and peace out man.

somat's stinkin in denmark. and the world over but in completely unrelated events, here's somat else im in love with. if you dont understand punjabi, then that's just too bad... id love to translate it, except i dont have the capability. so, anyways: kuj unj vi ravan auk hiyan sun kuj gul vich ishq da tauq vi si kuj shehr day laug vi zalim sun kuj sanu maran the shauk vi si

the alice syndrome

if i was someone else, would my shoes still not fit me? ---------------------------------------------- so my group and our ad came first in our category (we had three other competitors), and second overall (out of 16 groups). maybe in another life, i wouldve been happy with the results, but i am actually sick of being "just there" and then falling "just a little short". im sick of being the second best. i guess that is where the difference lies in people who actually have ambition, who are competitive by nature, and me, who competes because i have no other choice. i take up a challenge when it is thrown at me, and not because i had intended to in the first place. and that is the difference between them and i. who i am, isnt right for where i am. if im going to be here for good, then i need to be someone else, cuz im not going to be a runner-up. if i do somat, i do it well, or i dont do it at all. and right now, im doing neither. im trying to take a middle path that is getting me nowhere.

sun is shining

they've gone stark-raving-abso-fucking-tively-posi-bloody-lutely mad. it's crazy i tell you... they've all gone mad! ok, hear this! rioters have been having field days lately, as they've been let loose on my city, to show "solidarity with the muslim ummah" and to "protest the blasphemous cartoons"... blah de dah de dah... what a load of bull crap. these assholes torched buildings, wreaked havoc on the roads by setting alight busses and tyres, and when they werent setting fire to cars, they were going around smashing the windscreens in... it's horrific... it's preposterous... most of all, it's plain stupid... and DEFINITELY NOT IN THE NAME OF ISLAM. yesterday, some more riots engulfed the city, cuz protests in punjab university turned ugly, and an employee died in cross fire between police and the students. question: what the fuck are arms doing in a university? WHO is responsible? and why the hell is the admin so scared to handle these students. the university management REFUSED to comment... oh why? does that tarnish your oh-so-spotless-repute? dude, one of YOUR employees died. someone needs to answer.

the VC stayed in his office during the protest. He did not come out even when police baton charged, used tear gas and started shooting at the students, sources said, adding that that was when the IJT activists started throwing stones at police. Sources said the VC got to the main gate half an hour after the incident occurred. Later, he left his office in panic and PU's administration was asked to wind up and leave the campus as soon as possible, especially before Rizwan's funeral.

im glad we have our priorities straight. ok, get this. while private property and businesses were being destroyed (the mobs took to the streets on both tuesday AND wednesday, on wednesday after the university incident), the former interim prime minister Ch Shujaat hussain was contacted for comment. here's how DT quotes him:

When contacted by a TV channel for comment on what was happening in Lahore, Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain launched into a tirade against Denmark and emphasised the importance of Islamic protest because the offence had gone to the heart of the Muslim faith.

well... hello? the offense has gone to into the heart of the muslim faith? excuse me? WHAT faith? and if you are SO bleeding hurt, does that mean u destroy the lives and properties of other MUSLIMS? im sorry, this hardly seems like an attempt to make any point other than to prove your ignorance, and to reveal that your intellect is that of a dozen chalghozas put together.

School and college boys had entered the streets with clubs in their hands. It was obvious that the march was planned to be violent. The way they set about breaking the cars and then setting fire to them was no spontaneous response to provocation. TV commentators kept noting that the police was not present when the mob started its violence. When it came to the scene afterwards it simply stood around and watched as public and private property was being demolished. Those who were busy breaking into shops and banks were clearly youths who loot private citizens during the night while posing as followers of religious parties during the day.

the only result of burning down offices of multinationals will be them pulling out of your country, all the foreign investment flowing back out, and the economy going back into negative growth. allowing such behaviour is a clear signal to anyone and everyone that we are just too immature and so not prepared to grow, financially, or socially. then we want to know why the "west" only thinks of us as mullahs in dhotis running abouwieldingng batons. duh!?

The protests are clearly aimed at bringing the Musharraf regime down.

right. and it takes a genius to figure that? im just wodering what the bigger picture behind this agitation the world over is... with americans working to secure the western borders of pakistan (the whole baluchistan fiasco), how far is the attack on tehran? (just curious) but hmm, lets see, if i was to be a part of mob, or mob-related incidents, where i knew i wouldnt be found or accountable for my actions, i think i would go setting fire to all the oil wells across the world. imagine paralysing all economies globally. hehehehe! anyways, the city has been paralysed again today, with more protests and burnings (of shops) to come. stay tuned for obscene madness. oh, and in other news, the mullahs are asking for "expulsion of foreign students" from pakistanuniversitieses. they want them all sent back to the west. ha! ha! ha! you think ANYONE from the west would come to pakistan for education. ok, no really, that IS funny :p the only foreign students you DO have, and the ones that come from nigeria or sudan or somalia, or bangladesh, and honestly, we would be better off without them, cuz the minute they land here, they join radical organizations and we all know what happens after that. anyways, your education system can barely support your own population. you know the foreign students arent bringing in any money, cuz once they get here, they disappear, and the universities have no records of where these people are. but here are some excerpts from an article i found VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY enlightening :) enjoy:

the entire Muslim Ummah became enraged. We know that the Muslim Ummah has a penchant for getting enraged mostly over matters of blasphemy and occasionally the desecration of the Holy Book. However, most times that the Ummah gets enraged, the price of oil goes up.

It would seem that a right wing racist Danish newspaper editor tried to make fun of Muslims. The Muslim ulema in Denmark got upset as Muslim ulema are wont to and spread the word. In time the rest of the Ummah got incensed as it is wont to and one thing led to another. Some Muslim dictators took advantage of the situation to score a few points, as they are wont to. But all this "wonting to" sounds much too reasonable and runs contrary to the universal law of conspiracies.

...the Danes seem to be blaming the Swiss food giant Nestle for their misfortunes. To believe that somebody as innocuous as manufacturers of chocolates and bottled water could be behind all this seems a little difficult to imagine ... And if we look hard enough ... we will find some connection between bottled water and oil.

Clearly somebody has been driving this issue for the last five months, and it takes money to do that. The question then is who was providing the money to arrange all this. The ulema as we well know rarely spend their own money on things as important as this. And, within the Ummah, the only people who have the sort of money needed for such activity are the oil producers. So, back we are with big oil. Only the "why" needs to be figured out.

lets see. oil, oil prices, iran oil producing country, iran going nuclear, baluchistan freedom movement, danish cartoons (september 2005 + 5 months), muslim mobs in pakistan, jordan, syria, india, 2007 attack on tehran? dunno man, just asking :s but if that IS the case, the american troops be warned. it gets very hot in summers in this part of the world, so you want to worry about the weather factor in your strategy. target you attack around october '07 onwards. oct '06 will be too soon and too obvious. and there is still some money left before oil prices reach $70 a barrel. ------------------------------------------------------------------ if you want to hear a good song, try linkin park's believe me. i rather much like it. or you could try fort minor's remember the name. i rather much like that too.

under the tracks

you know what i was thinking? about what would be the saddest thing on the planet? it would have to be the closing down of small businesses, for whatever reasons... negative cashflows, or poor management, or just poor ideas. but really, it is heartbreaking, to see someone's dreams and efforts going to waste. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- go directly to jail. you will not pass go. you will not collect 200. you will never pass go. you will never collect 200. why the hell dont you just go back to where you came from? no one wants you here. what will you do hanging around anyways? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse? me thinks fix you is my new anthem... for a little while at least. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sorry ive been so late with the replies hun, but here's somat: four things: four jobs ive had umm... have i had four jobs? my first one was as an exam coordinator for the british council pakistan, which at that time seemed like big shit :" umm... uskay baad...well, there was the paper i worked at in various capacities, ive taught ceramics (for a month or two only), ive umm... oh crap. i dont have a fourth job... NO WAIT!!! got it ... editing at that publisher.... aha! four movies ive watched repeatedly ok, this is going to sound bad. but the movies ive been totally crazy about, i havent been able to watch more than once. mostly, cuz watching them again doesnt have the same impact... movies like the shawshank redemption... or even lord of the rings trilogy... havent been able to do them more than once... but the movies that i HAVE watched repeatedly are: i) the parent trap (i LOVE this flick) ii) shrek iii) aladdin iv) pretty woman *shrugs* yeah, yeah i know. cheesy, innit? told ya! four places ive liked: hard to say... liked how? the scenery? the drive? the memories ive gathered there? well? i remember collecting sea shells at a saudi beach, way past midnight... when i was 8... so i guess, if that image has stuck, that's saying somat? i loved alton towers... that was like the biggest theme park in europe before euro disney... i loved the caves in bath... or was it some place near bath? no, i think it was bath. was awesome! im really not much for deep dark places, seeing as how ive actually become claustrophobic over time... but i was normal then :p lastly? and i guess most importantly, id HAVE to say my village... during winters... i loved going there as a kid, sleeping in rui ki razaiyan, having desi ghee kay parathay with salan for breakfast... alongwith meethi lassi... asking my dad "Are we there yet?" after every 5 minutes on that 3 hour journey... lol. good times. four tv shows: im sure this one is easy: 1) the OC, the OC (Season 2), the OC (season 3, 4 episodes -- that's how far ive seen it yet) [eds: ok, hemlock is cheating here... or she's gone insane] 2) fraiser 3) who's line is it anyways 4) kim possible/powerpuff girls (i love chicks who can kick ass) four vacation spots: (im doing places where i'd want to spend my vacations, not necessarily where i've spent them yet) hmmm... shangri-la, most definitely scotland... southern france? dunno... oh oh oh! New Zealand. four dishes i like: ooo... tuff one. lets see... we loves nihari, with sheermaal... o yes we do, my precioussssssssssssssssss... umm... aloo / keemay/ mulee kay parathey?? (does that count as a dish?) oh oh oh!!! fish and chips :D mutton karahi... with roghni naan and coke. i dunno... im absotively crazy about food... dunno if this is true, OR fair... but it is. four sites i visit daily: my gmail. google.com ummm... my blog? that's about it. usually dont hang around online for too long. as in, not if i can help it. four people i would tag: i dont know. i dont think i know four people :)

tiger sprawling in the sun 

of riddles you dont want to solve

would life still be this hard, this complicated, if the circle of life was actually a square? ------------------------------------------------------------- the last one year? has been the hardest ever. i dont complain, i try to find a silver lining in every cloud, im the brightest of the orange oranges. ive glown with happiness all my life, ive never let anything dampen my spirit, and ive got witnesses. but im so so tired now. i really am ive had enough. but the funny thing is, it doesnt end here. the next three months of my life will probably be worse. harder, if it could be possible. you know that ray of sunshine? i need it. now. i've never ever ever given up. but i just cant struggle anymore. sunshine. now. please. i know ive come to the end of this road. is this the end of me too? would it matter if it were? i want to get out of here.

behind blue eyes

pop quiz: of the two people... a and b, which would be harder to live/get along with? a' spersonality traits: highly dependable, predictable, to the point of being compulsively stubborn. b's personality traits: extremely erratic, highly inflammable and unpredictable to the point of being blissfully confused. now put the two in every possible situation, and tell me... which of the two is well... "difficult" ?! ------------------------------------------------------------- while i know how meeks hates this, here's another eminem song i MUCH like Yeah I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now But hey, what'd daddy always tell you? Straighten up little soldier Stiffen up that upper lip What you crying about? You got me I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry Cuz you're scared, I ain't there? Daddy's with you in your prayers No more crying, wipe them tears Daddy's here, no more nightmares We gonna pull together through it, we gonna do it We're all we got in this world When it spins, when it swirls When it whirls, when it twirls Two little beautiful girls Lookin' puzzled, in a daze I know it's confusing you And if you ask me to Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird I'mma give you the world I'mma buy a diamond ring for you I'mma sing for you I'll do anything for you to see you smile And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine I'mma break that birdies neck I'll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya And make him eat every carat don't fck with dad Now hush little baby, don't you cry Everything's gonna be alright and i wont tell no one your name.

exactly what does killing someone achieve?

my best friend was in denmark when this whole cartoon debate started, and i'd say ive known about it ever since. i never thought it was worth mentioning, or bringing to light, because everytime you highlight something negative, you are inviting more people too look at it, and you in fact become a tool for dissemination of filth. one example would be me stumbling across an israeli website called ***... i was stunned at the level of crap those guys had put up, against my prophet, my god, my religion... my beliefs. for a while, i tried to engage them in a decent discussion, giving them my point of view, trying to ignore their ignorance, listening to what they had to say; i tried to go beyond the surface to see where all that misinformation had come about from, to create such a strong bias against islam. of the 40 or so people engaged in that discussion, only 3-4 were decent enough to not abuse islam and all what was related to it. three days into the "dialogue" i gave up. i knew the odds were stacked against me, and my voice wasnt strong enough. that, and the fact that i dont have patience to deal with ignorance. i really dont. that said, these danish cartoons arent the first time ive come across blasphemy against my religion. how do i deal with it? do i burn danish embassies in my country? or do i go marching, holding placards and banners? here's my response. the so called "debate" has been going on for 6 months now. that's a bloody long time. seeing as how sensitive an issue religion can be, for most people. you are messing with their core beliefs, a part of them that works purely on emotion, NOT logic. for the last SIX months, muslims across europe have been asking for an apology, saying, it isnt funny to fuk with our religion. do what you damn well like with your mothers and daughters, put them up for sale on the internet, none of our business. it wasnt us muslims who said by the next decade, 80% of all kids born in the US will be "bastards". it was bill clinton. we just say we DONT allow people to mess with our values, because some of our laws go beyond what can be vetoed by the senate. for the last six months, the "moderate", "sensible" and "balanced" individuals who follow this one particular religion have been saying, "look, what you did has offended us, it isnt funny, and we would appreciate it if you accept the fact that you ARE trying to stir up trouble, which we DONT want to create, because we have better things to do". but no. the danish paper chose instead, to call for "solidarity amongst european press, in the name of freedom of speech". okay. have it your way. oh, and by-the-way... be careful what you wish for. sookhi lakri ko teeli dekhao gay, to aag to lagay gi.

"D! yer so stooooooopid!" dexter

hehehehehehehe hahahahaha!!! ROFLOL... u know what? i dont feel stupid anymore :D i mean seriously, how embarrassing is that? i know it's almost evil to be laughing at someone else's misfortunes, but terrible things become funny when they happen to other people (a joke i had just received after the october 8 earthquake: what should you do immediately after an earthquake? go to the victims, point at them, and laugh, saying: ha ha ha! who told you to live next on a fault line?) i know. i didnt find it funny. i found it terribly distasteful, that you could mock someone's tragedy like that... but come on, breaking a priceless vase in a museum isnt in the same league. but in other news, the chinese landed on american before columbus? imagine that though :D america owes its existance to the chinese. im gettin really funny ideas... *smacks head -- "focus hemmie, focus* gotta class to rush to... naah, not really, im just dying for coffee... but chk this out... this is what we do for royalty... "o i just cant wait to be king"... and gotta post comments about Multinationals wait for Basant date and Supreme Court sends class eight student with parents i swear man... when i in grade 8, i was too busy planning suicide to notice anything else. what is the world coming to? must.rush.to.coffee. *leaves incomplete blog*