raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

i wish i could be funny. i wish i could crack people up with my dorky sense of humour. i wish i wasnt strapped very tightly to a runaway rollercoaster. i wish there werent so many mosquitoes here. i dont wish to update no more, because i cannot guarantee quality. that doesnt mean i'll quit blogging. i just wont update. and that isnt the same thyng. though i rather like the word subtle. which is slightly different from stuble. you could even have subtle stuble. if you tried hard enough. which reminds me, i havent shaved in a week now. im becoming a sloppy jane. i've never lived in a blackhole. i dont know what it would be like. but im sure, if you could live in a blackhole, you would probably be living my life. you'd be stuck in a deja vu warp, where every morning, the sun would rise from the east, and make its way across the sky. if i were god, i'd make the sun go around in a maze everyday, where it would have to find its way out. the road each day would be different, and the sun would never lead a mundane life, going from east to west until it back in the east again, having never really moved from its spot. though i wonder if the sun ever gets bored. so many new thyngs to see each day. so much activity, so much happening around it. so much chaos. i wonder if it ever goes mad. heh. and you know, if the sun were to run away, there wouldnt be too many places it could go to. a blackhole could be a tiring place to live in.you know. all emotion would be sucked out of you. all thought. all reason, and logic. and you would become a void, just existing. although, i dont thynk anythyng can exist if it doesnt have meaning. im sure blackholes have meanings too, i just havent been able to read them yet. and your tears would freeze. imagine being slapped with a rubber duck. or a rubber chicken. repeatedly. except if you were in a blackhole, there would be no movement, which could be a good thyng. depending on how much you enjoy rubber chickens slapping you around :D or rubber ducks, if that's what tickles your fancy. i really like the font im using on my msn. it goes somethyng like : bradly hand itc. it's slick. most ppl cant understand it, which is so much cooler. ive got pictures from islamabad. perhaps i'll put them up.

im surfektly pober offishur

thys is what my blog would look like, if i knew french. (it looks like thys cuz i used thys to give it a makeover). sadly, i dont. when i try speak french, i make them funny gurgling sounds, and my mom thynks i need to throw up and see a doctor. when i try to sing, she thynks im suffering from severe depression, and that i need to see a shrink. i thynk i need to see a shrink cuz ive never seen one. ive seen jellyfish. jellyfish are cool. ive also seen an oil tanker. that was cool. ive never seen the zonda either, but i know i better not. i would probably kill for that car. *sigh!* umm. yeah. bye.

disCARded

i got a new car. one of those expensive ones. and i banged it. the day i got it. oh! did i mention it wasnt even insured? :) the scratches and dents shall ward off the evil eye. for good. although i thynk it's a slightly impractical method to have been applied. but too late now. (notice the remnants of a poet who once was).

i ain't no coward!

ogres are not like cakes! indeed! indeed they aren't! that has been the most profound learning for me in a very long time. it's very deep actually, if you thynk about it. a bit like onions. onions have layers. ogres have layers, like onions. and ogres are not like cakes! WOAH! m.i.n.d.b.l.o.w.i.n.g it's no wonder the film was a success. and like, when in the second one he (dont you just love that smile?) says: im sorry, but the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. rad.i.cal. that's so totally radical dude!

will you, wont you, will you, wont you?

one of the reasons im an introvert, or that i dont enjoy company (read: make it a point to avoid it) is because being around people teaches me a lot about myself. and more often than not, i end up learning thyngs i'd rather not know. thank you. like take an incident that happened the other day. i was sat with a friend of mine, and he threw somethyng at me, which i was supposed to catch. having accomplished that feat successfully, i received a comment from him: "you are very inflexible." point of information. i'm not inflexible. ( <<< psst! notice strong denial) and i dont like poeple telling me im inflexible. and i dont like people reaching such conclusions simply by the way i catch flying objects. he did explain how he had reached his conclusion, and if i wasnt the object of scrutiny, i wouldve been convinced, but again, facing up to reality is stinxinxky. let's take another conversation. i came out of an interview extremely bummed, bucause halfway thru the interview i realised i was saying thyngs i shouldnt have, and that i bombed it. basically. the other person may not thynk so, but analyzing the situation way after the interview, i realised my responses left a lot to be desired. i mean, if i had been giving the interview, i wouldve done a much better job. *shrugs* so sulking and cribbing about how i say thyngs off the top of my head, i got the following response. "woman, notice your sentence construstion and structure. one of your typical lines is: 'i refuse to do {insert any action}. i have issues with that.'" now for a person lyke myself, that's perfect construction. the grammar and spellings are correct, as is use of commas, articles etc. apparenty, the attitude isnt. while underlining the problems, the guy highlighted the following problem areas: i refuse (lack of word that begins to explain the cause of the effect. words like, because) issues. for short, he discounted everythyng i said. by way of explanation, he made the following observations: - notice the I-centricity. when someone asks you to do somethyng with them, you could suggest, we cant do thys, because... or shouldnt we rather do thys..." (my response: But I'm not like that at all). - refuse: point-blank-refusal. you never went to charm school right? ever heard of "politely extricating yourself from a situation? without making the other person feel like insignificance personified?" (my response: umm. no). - lack of sensitivity. how about giving an explanation for bulldozing the other person over? it might decrease their level of agony. how about explaining why you cannot undertake a certain task, or why you have problems doing one thyng or another. (my response: whatever!) - issues: the minute you use that word, you put the other person on defensive. oh! so thys woman has "issues". and that can only translate into bigger "issues". he also went on to respeak the sentence i had said. my line: i refuse to go to the e-lab, i have issues with working in there. his new and improved, revamped line: can we please not go to the e-lab, there's too much noise there, and i find it hard to concentrate. the sad part is, had someone else come to me with the problem, i probably wouldve said the very same thyngs. it's sad to fall into the very trap you've spent your life asking people to look out for. what's worse is, i still cant reconcile myself to accepting even i can make mistakes. and if it could get any worse, that would my resistance to changing -- for the better. i could thynk about what i say, but then, would i really say what i thynk? or would i then say what you want to hear? would i say it when i want to say it, or would i say it when i thynk yer ready to listen? would i say it how i want to say it, or how you would wish to hear it? if i got down to sugar-coating everythyng, would that really be me? i have seriously prided myself for being honest, straightforward, and saying thyngs pointblank -- to the point of suffering myself... when you say thyngs you want to, a lot of the tyms you end up hearing thyngs you might not want to. but for someone like me, it's worth it. to be tactful, and diplomatic ... and still be me? i could tell you who i am, but i'd have to thynk about it.

tag, and that's it???

i wish i read. i feel all shades of blonde when ppl talk about books and i just look on like a toad. i like the way toads look (bulging eyes), as opposed to how toads look (warts and all). but yeah, if there is anythyn missing from from my life, that'd be the tym and energy to read. not toad. or toad off. since there is no such thyng. but she thynks i do, and i believe in keeping pretences so here goes nuffin :) You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be? you do realise, thys was the first tym ever i heard the expression, let alone throughly grasp the concept? but i googled it :) and now im all smart. the idea here is, im assuming god himself can take care of his book, since he promised, so my next choice would be the feroz-ul-lughaat :) muhahahaha. and im serious. global warming can fry us all, for all i care, im more concerned with the loss of languages... and i wish someone would promote urdu. actually before that, i wish i could speak urdu. like it deserves to be spoken. it's a beautiful language. but mixed-breeds like myself, who are brown on the outside and empty on the inside, have totally spoiled what's left of it. we like to call it "spoken urdu". cuz no one will accept it as anythyn else. and it's a tragedy. if proponents of the language cant speak it, what are we to expect from others? Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? is lyke, icecream food ? duh! as a kid i idolized umroo ayyar... *grins* thys really awesome desi-super hero who faught djinns and superwitches and lived in the land of fairies, and had thys most amazing carrybag that you could fit mountains into :) as fate would have it, i found some of his books during my trip to karachi, Rs 12/ each. i bought them, and read one, and then burnt them. i thynk the book-bonfire was more entertaining that the books :p (like i said, im easily amused). then i wanted to be Mrs Sherlock Holmes right upto when i turned 17 or somethyng (yeah owl, you almost had competition there ;)) . but then i fortunately grew out of silly teenage infactuations when i met aragorn. let it be known, there aint no mortal like him, and there never will be. i mean, how can you NOT pledge your life to thys guy and promise to be his eternal slave? beyond that, let's NOT forget Mr Darcy *swoons* and all those *sigh* gentlemen dudes in georgette heyer novels. the top hats and tailcoats and powdered hair and dandy (high street) fashions... *faints* (someone pass me the smelling salts, thank you!) The last book you bought is: i dont know. i splashed out at thys old bookshop kinda thyngy, and got: The Hobbit Catch 22 Aman (cant find a link for thys, but it's supposed to be the story of a wronged arab - or african - woman who decides to speak out. that's innovative, considering ive read all of jean sasson's books -- including princess, daughter's of arabia, and desert royal... and betty mahmoody's Not Without My Daughter -- and found them to be nothing more than propaganda trash). An American Brat The Patient (im not sure if it's the same as the English Patient... i'd tell you, but my friends borrowed four out of five of the afore mentioned books, and the one i was left with i left at someone's place). and then there were these two car magazines. do they count? The last book you read: Exile and the Kingdom -- Albert Camus. i LOVED it. i wanna find some more books of his. What are you currently reading? umm... Fundamentals of Operations Management -- Davis, Chase MUHAHAHA! GOTCHA! ok, i admit. i wish i could read it, but really. let's get real. it's hardback. and thick. and it doesnt have pictures to colour in. (i had started on both catch 22 and the hobbit, but the reading has been delayed for various reasons. oh! and ive been trying to read anna karenina for like a yr now. so that would count as currently, right?) Five books you would take to a desert island: The Quran. it's a book i want to read in peace. i havent read it yet, the way i'd like to... so there. The Complete Websters Dictionary -- and no owl, honey, im not copying you, i ACTUALLY have a copy of one in my books shelf :) and yes, i may be accused of going thru a dictionary to kill boredom. *cringe* A suitable boy - vikram seth. it would be helpful in fueling fire during chilly nights. and may be used effectively to kill large birds and small animals. muhahahaha. the complete works of mark twain. sorry. cant compromise on those. it would HAVE to be complete. any book on human psychology. and no, you cant ask why :) Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why? umm... mono. top of the mind recall :) binje. top of the mind recall (part ii). actually. ive never heard thys guy talk about books. it'd be interesting to see what he has to say. meeks. he's just too smart, and he deserves to be put in... what was it? fahrenheit 451 :p