Q: what could possibly be better than a LONNNNNNNNNNG drive at five in the morning? A: a LONNNNNNNNNNG drive at five in the morning... in an SLR. that aside, i was amazed to see the number of people out on the road... wide awake at what is usually my bedtime. my brother and i decided to hunt some property we own in the city, and early morning seemed like a nice tym to be going out. only we looked and looked and were hopelessly lost, when i came across thys HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE entrance typa thyng with a beautiful driveway and an even prettier gate... with a coupla security guards sitting there. i said to my brother, "thys looks like a nice place to be living in... it's way outta the city, noice and secluded, and there seems little traffic. i wonder if there are any houses for sale in here." (the driveway was lined with trees, so you couldnt really see beyond a verrrrry long road). me being me, i drove right up to the iron gates and parked. honked, and a rather mean looking guard came out, pointing his gun at my car (some ppl just dont ahve any manners... hmph!). so i said, "excuse me, what is thys place? would there be any houses for sale here?" he looked at me and said, "sorry madam, thys is the palace of Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan al nahiyan." i took that as a no. im sure if i had asked nicely, he wouldve given me a guided tour of the palace, but since the three of us (my bro, me and my sis) were in PJs, i thought it wouldnt be decent... you know! its just wrong to run into royalty in yer sleeping-suits. what if the sheikh was there recuperating from a secret illness? what if he suggested we stay for breakfast/tea? what if he decided we were so nice, he'd give us the palace and go back to saudi? i didnt want to put the sheikh thru so much trouble, and b4 the guard could extend saudi hospitality, we fled. after an hour of searching, we eventually did discover the place our land was supposed to be, except that it wasnt there. i mean, the place was there, and there was land, but we just couldnt come across the chunk we owned. apparently, feeling ignored (we hadnt been visiting), it just got up and left. asking around, we discovered the place we have spent 10 years paying for, and is now legally our property to sell or build on, has been occupied by some big landlord in the area. :) so we came back home. if yer gonna ask what we'll do about it, dont... cuz i dont know myself. im looking more towards talking the sheikh into bequeathing that palace to me. he doesnt even use it you know. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- until i feel decent enough to update new blogs my blogskin, you can go here or here. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- for those of you who are wondering about me jobs...well... it was a principle thyng. without being unprofessional and revealing thyngs that are strictly between me and me ed, im basically not the kind of person who takes crap from anyone. no matter how well they pay me for that. me ed slighted my integrity and maligned my work... i told him to get stuffed. now all i need to do is break it to my mom. *cringe* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- corrigendum: in one of my last posts, i mentioned somethyng about a football worldcup in 92. amir was kind enough to point out there WAS no worldcup in 92. on further research (i asked my brother) the correct year was 94. the tournament was called USA 94 and he said he wasnt sure if it was brazil in the finals.

hemlock @ alessermortal.blogspot.com regrets the error

ive been unemployed for twenty hours now. just so you know.

this, ladies and gentlemen, is my new desktop. it totally beats blue smilies. if euro 2004 was happening in pakistan, i would have accused the matches of being fixed. i mean, come on, what is the probability of sweden and denmark drawing the match with two goals each, which was what both the teams needed to get into the semi finals, knocking italy out? i mean, ok, italy may have been an average team, but two crappy teams moving higher up the ladder on a mere 'technicality' is SO UNFAIR. then there is real tragic case of the three coaches (spanish, german and italian) who have quit over the fact their teams were chucked out (eliminated) in the preliminary rounds (really early in the Euro). the fact remains, that only 8 teams can qualify for the quarter finals, 4 for the semis, and two for the finals. and italy wasnt even a bad team. *sigh* ok they were. i mean they werent bad, but a couple of others were better. anyways i refuse to believe these guys didnt work with their men. to have to leave like thys only makes it worse. take real for example. they have the bestest players in the world, but their egos combined are bigger than the game, therefore, the SUCK as a team. thats no rocket science. with the lesser mortals like myself, you have to work harder and together, as a unit, to prove your worth... as did portugal and czech... And holland, for the first tym in ages, won on penalties (theyve been thrown out plenty of tyms before in the penalty rounds). anyways, i dont know much about football. i know totti needed to show more sportsman's spirit, or he wouldnt have been banned. and i dont thynk beckham alone can be blamed for england losing to portugal. while the blame-game is in full swing, one must remember football is NOT one man's game. there's 90 minutes and 20 players on the field. i also know italy has been my favourite since the 1992 worldcup (then i had a MAJOR crush on the entire team. unfortunately they lost in the finals - to brazil i thynk - cant remember) anyways, greece came out on top with 40/1 odds, and the czech team is one im hearing of for the first tym in my life. i dont care anymore. my next fav (holland) will prolly be thrown out in the semis. the pundits sare saying the final will be btw czech and portugal, and that czech'll taking the cup. may the best team win, "the damn game has been fixed anyways".

:) my servant/maid/help (funny how NONE of the words describe apropriately what she means to us) is getting married tomorrow, and it's killing me. she has been with us for over four years, and that is a LONG tym, in terms of domestic assistance :) it's not funny. if it wasnt for her, i wouldnt know where my room was. whats most depressing is, i wont be here to see her off tomorrow. there is NO way i can take stay home from work, and theyll be gone by the tym i get back. so she was sat here a few minutes ago as i put henna on her hands (i did an AWESOME job), so i axed her what she had been up to. "well, i got a facial and my face polished," she tol' me. lol! i was in fits. since ive never gotten any myself, i axed her how it was done, and she goes... "well, first the lady put somethyng on my face for five minutes, and then took it off, and then she put somethyng else on my face, and then took it off." *scratches head, looks around* she continued, "then she put somethyng on my arms cuz she said theyd go whiter, and then she did, and then she said it was for hundred rupees, and look at my arms, they are still not white." i was in fits. while it IS her special day, that girl is mashallah so pretty, she doesnt need half that stuff. but i just thought she is ultra cool. you know. she was an AMAZING cook. while it WAS my mom who taught her how to cook, thys girl worked wonders with dinners my ppl love to throw off and on. she has single-handedly prepared GOOD food for groups of 20+. she's been my mom's companion thru thynk n thyn, and i knew mom was never 'alone' when my bro and i were out at work. mom's been crying for of and on for a week now. it WAS her idea the gurl be married, but i guess the gravity of it all is hitting us now. hehe. anyways, once again, i ask you all for duas. she may be someone from a poverty-stricken family from the lower-income group, but as a person, i find i have learnt so much from her. thats what successful relationships are about i guess. you give some, you take some. for me, she was my fashion consultant (the reason my clothes never matched), a treasure seeker (rehaaaaaaaaaana! where are my keys?), and a parental-conrol device (she decided what we could watch on tv). i only hope we were able to give her if only a small fraction of all what she deserves. UGGGGGGGGGGGH! i hate goodbyes, and its prolly all cool i wont be here when she leaves, but she did tell me yesterday, "baji, dont worry, ill keep in touch. my in-laws just got a telephone installed!" thys is where i go sit by the fone and wait. :)

Greece seal stunning upset win over France thys is just NUTS. im in shock. i mean france? *faints* anyways. my servant is getting married tomorrow. she doesnt follow football, so she isnt that upset. other then the euro thyng, ive been going mad with teh bride's last minute shopping :D getting her gold was the funnest part. it entails spending LOADS of money :D umm. duas for her please :) she's a good kid. ill miss her like H E L L. shall spill details later. for now, im going into mourning. france. they're outta euro 2004. first it was italy - out, then germany - out, then england - out. there's only so much a (pretty) girl can take. these guys should just switch over to cricket.

bugger bugger bugger. im so peeved @ somethyng right now, i could do some serious damage. im not sure to who, or what, or why. it's just that tym of yer life. no worries. its just some seritone deficiency. a banana otta do it. except there ARE no bananas in summers.. umm no wait. there are. i thynk. bugger. i thynk ill take coffee instead. now THAT's an enhancer. so if yer down, it'lla take ya downer. anyways, i wanted to do a post on my birthday

celebrations included balloons bought from islamabad, two baked alaskas, one chocolate log cake and a few close friends of the family. the media were inconspicuously missing from the fairly low-key event. sources have revealed on condition of anonymity, that the attendees applauded all three tyms hemlock cut cakes and she "felt giddy, and like a six-year-old". HELLO! was denied coverage of the event.

the story is subject to copyright laws, and illegal production, re-production, publication, republication, cutting and / or copying - pasting is forbidden. but im too tired, and it WAS what seems like ages ago, so go away. oh wait. just another thyng. one of the nicer thyngs i was called on D-Day was "Burnt-out Revolutionary" go figure.

dude, i just havent been in the right frame of (moth-eaten) mind to blog. my birthday celebratory post sits half written, and i wait for a muse to inspire me enuff so i can finish it. anyways, here are ACTUAL answers from quiz shows: 1. Name something a blind person might use - A sword 2. Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell 3. Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar 4. Name a famous brother & sister - Bonnie & Clyde 5. Name a dangerous race - The Arabs 6. Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse 7. Name something that floats in the bath - Water 8. Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair 9. Name something Red - My cardigan 10. Name a famous royal - Mail 11. Something you do before going to bed - Sleep 12. Something you put on walls - Roofs 13. Something in the garden that's green - Shed 14. Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings 15. Something you might be allergic to - Skiing 16. Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters 17. Something a cat does - Goes to the toilet 18. Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate 19. Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog 20. Something associated with the police - Pigs 21. A sign of the zodiac - April 22. Something slippery - A conman 23. A kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish 24. A food that can be brown or white - Potato 25. A jacket potato topping - Jam 26. Something with a hole in it - Window 27. A non living object with legs - Plant 28. A domestic animal - Leopard 29. A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee 30. Something you open other than a door - Your Bowels im just not smart enuff to come up with these answers.

imran khan and jemima goldsmith are now officially divorced. i hate divorces, and im too depressed to comment. but i hope it has nothing to do with thys story.

working on a blue template has done somethyng to me. that and the fact that my desktop is blue, cuz it has an ugly blue wallpaper of hallucinogenic blue smilies. it's making me trippy. and i thynk it's contagious. me to F: dude. can you come in on sunday, cuz i want sunday off. F to me: sunday, monday, saturday. me: yeah i wander back to my seat. a while later, F comes over. F: so what were you saying? me: huh? what? F: you said somethyng. me: i dunno. i wasnt listening F: ok F goes away. a few minutes later, i go over. me: i got so much work to do. F: yeah. why do you want sunday off? me: it's my birthday. i dont want to celebrate it.and i cant take saturday off cuz im missing a deadline. F: (big smile) oh cool. so like call me. ill wish you. me: yeah. im back at my seat, F comes over. F: so if i come in sunday, ill have to wait till monday to talk to my dad. me: what's happening on monday? F: im taking the day off. me: why? F: cuz im coming in on sunday so you can have sunday off. me: so where's saturday? F: yer gonna be in cuz yer missing a deadline. me: umm. i am? F: yes. me: i need to change thys wallpaper. F: yeah. *pause, as we both look at the wall paper* F: so what was i saying? me: yeah? F: was i saying somethyng me: huh? F: yeah. (leaves muttering somethyng abt "dad") for references look at wallpaper. ---------------------------------------- did you know psychotomimetic is a word? some people even use it.

guess who guess who has been touching up the template again :p i fortunately have a backup at work. the dungeons shall be red again, fear not, but it'll take tym. till then, be patient all of u. im the one who hates change

all i want is a man who is kind, understanding, funny and sincere. is that too much to ask of a billionaire? ---------------------------------------------------- i found a coupla noice words: * "Mathematics are one of the fundamentaries of educationalizing our youths." George W Bush * "Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away... if your car could go straight upwards." Sir Fred Hoyle * "He gets so much in speaking fees these days that when I saw him in New York the other night and said hello to him he said, 'That'll be $10.'" Bob Dole (is amused at how much Bill Clinton earns on the lucrative public speaking circuit.)

im quitting one of my two jobs on saturday. inshallah as in ive given in the notice. so thats that. i felt really aweful for ignoring my responsibilities. * like taking my car to the workshop.(the shocks need oiling, the axel needs adjusting, teh wheel alignement is out:p. so when the car breaks at 10kmph, it screeches like no car has ever screeched b4) * or taking my mom shopping (my servant is getting married. she's been with us for four years, and i am so going to miss her. she decided what i wore to work, and usually it wasn't matching, she decided what we'd have for dinner, depending on if she herself wanted pizza, nihari or hotdogs, and she decided if we needed to visit anyone - "aaj phopo kay ghar chalain?" Umm. sure) * or picking jamuns from the tree. thys is the most serious offence, cuz the jamun is a very fragile fruit, and only lasts for 4 summer weeks or somet. so you have to pick it REALLY caefully, a religiously EVERYDAY, and FINISH it everyday, so it doesnt spoil. if you know what i mean. then i wasnt getting enough sleep, and i dont like my coffee addiction. i eat it for a quicker fix, and then act weird all day. i still havent decided if im going for that mba :) the less important thyngs can be left for later. for now, imna go get me some fruit. *picks up fruit basket* *puts on bandana* *goes to balcony* *falls off* SPLAT!!!

every place has its high points and low points. working in a newsroom, you cannot possibly avoid current affairs/intellectual discourse. in a low, i killed 58 people today. injured dozens. 21 in china (road accident), 17 in combodia (road accident) 14 in nepal (landmine blast) 3 in pakistan (blast/bombing) 3 in afghanistan (shot down by forces[us? afghan?]) in a rather intellectual discussion, i learnt burkina faso's capital is Ouagadougou. the country was formerly known as Upper Volta. i also learnt that the thai island ko samui is 21kms long, and 25 kms wide. so it doesnt have a runway, or an airforce, and if you travel at 60 kmph, you'd be in water long b4 the hour is up.

some thyngs in life are so unfunny. like the fact that everythyng concerning you was an accident. including yer conception. you happened not cuz yer parents planned it, but it just happened. and yer dad was so freaked out about telling yer mom, who wasnt ready for another baby, that he took three days and reinforcements (in the form of friends) to break it to her. or like the tym you were two days old, still in the crib, yer dad was in karachi, yer mom out of her mind with two kids and no husband, that she forgot you in the hospital. it was only when she was safe and sound in yer uncle's car that she screamed, "WHERE'S MY BABY?" so uncle took the car back to the hospital, and you were rescued. but not b4 the cradles were switched - or so yer brother claims. and he tells you yer (adopted) parents kept you out of generosity and an overly kind heart. how about the tym they put you in a 'good' school, but cuz you couldn't make friends there, and there was an attack by the killer bees, you got so freaked out, you forced your parents to send you to another school, where your kindergarten best-friend went - after kindergarten. (we are talking grade 1 here) but you shifted schools during spring break, and yer 'best friend' Sadaf moved to karachi b4 school opened. so you found yourself in another school, and no friends. accident or fate or what, the 'new' school was for the elite. the aristocratic. the patronizing. the parvenu. the desi finishing school. it looked REALLY good on yer CV, and taught you the fine arts of bitching and backstabbing. when you signed up for O levels, you asked yer parents what subjects you should take up. mom asked: you wanna be a doctor? you said: no dad asked: what do you wanna do? you said: i wanna take over yer business once you retire. so they both smiled indulgently, and suggested you learnt cooking and literature. all trophy wives spoke shakespear and knew spinich quiches. anyways, from almost getting expelled from school three tyms, cuz you were just to damn lazy to attend, you got a grade that made the principle scratch her head and question the authenticity of Cambridge University Examinations. her exact words were: "you got an unexpectedly good grade" you exact thoughts were: "get stuffed" then the trophy daughter was sent put in the desi equivalent of radcliffe. you never got in radcliffe btw, cuz you werent as smart as you thought you were. you still dont know how you got in. that was the second biggest accident that affected you (screwed you up seriously). you hated the place where life revolved around matching clothes, bags and shoes. you didnt apply until three days AFTER the deadline. you didnt appear for the entrance exam until it was over and they made 'special arrangements' to allow you to sit. and you didnt know a single answer. you remember a true/false question: q) milton was blind you thynk... who the hell is milton? so you write: a) beethoven was deaf. they call you for an interview. yer stuck. for four yrs. two years pass and then one day you wake up, and you wanna paint. just one little problem. you dont know how to. so you go learn. except your teacher thynks you wanna go to NCA, so he teaches you to draw instead. now that you can draw, your parents suggest you try your luck. so you do. and its working. :) you get in. another question: now what? here the option is art school vs milton in december sendups. no contest. you choose 4 yrs of inspirational work (yeah roite), over one exam about a dead blind poet with a bad memory (he lost paradise). so art school happens to you. somewhere along the journey is ONE meeting with a really cool dude who runs a paper... he offers you a job, you accept (you for the life of it cant explain WHY) and so journalism happens. three months of graduation, and yer struck by lightening. you wanna do somethyng 'new'. "oh! MBA sounds like a good idea," you say. so you apply. (2 months after the deadline, thru some programme the college has started for the first tym). they accept. Alhamdolillah Alhamdolillah Alhamdolillah. you cannot thank Allah enough for how he's been by your side, how He has pushed you along, shown you paths you could never have envisaged, opened doors you never knew were there. but at the end of the day, you see no efforts of YOURS. you dont see you planning, or taking a moment to decide what you really wanna do. you should be sick of 'stumbling' over 'good' schools and career options. taking life as it comes, thyngs as they happen... yeah yer on a road, but do you know where it's taking you? do you know where you wanna go? but isnt a road supposed to GO somewhere? sure you have alhamdolillah so many options, and yer too young to decide or commit yerself to a career, but shouldnt you be SLIGHTLY closer to deciding what you wanna do with yerself? alice got away with it all, cuz a) she was fictitious b) she was 7 c) she was blonde. you, on the other hand, are none of the above. ---------------------------------------------------- 'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 'I don't much care where--' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. '--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation. 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.' ---------------------------------------------------- go away. alice has left the building.

hemlock (1981-2004) here lies the soul and spirit of hemlock whatever.

so apparently, blogger is messed up, and i cant get in to write a post. lets see if thys works. i wonder if ive ever mentioned it b4, but as a kid, i wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. cuz i thought flying machines were the coolest thyngs in the world. like my magic carpet. only more mechanical. anyways, as life happened, that didnt work out. but i still have a thyng for flying machines. the comanche chopper is one of them. i bet i'd sell my soul to the devil to fly it. you know, have it on a helipad in my backyard, fly it around to skardu, shaghrila...here or here that will probably never be possible since the US Corps scratched the project and the machine will not actually go into production. the deal is... comanche the chopper, which gets its name from comanche the indian tribe could fly like... veritcal, horizontal (sideways), pull REALLY weird tricks... in short, defy gravity in an ultimately cool way. you HAVE to SEE it FLY to fall in love with it. to know what im talking abt. washington had put in a massive $8 BILLION and 20 long years researching for thys techy... and it had to be scrapped cuz each prototype was costing somewhere around $60 million. they figured it just wasnt worth it. it was lighter than the current choppers they are using... the apache... (currently being used in Iraq and Afghanistan) which looks really purty, but just isnt the same. Comanche was smaller, and way lighter.... 43 feet long and 7,700 pounds and was armed with stealth technology (to evade detection). it could fly 1,260 nautical miles on it's own, which basically means across oceans :p it did 80 knots flying sideways. which is more than my car can do going straight. *sigh* so here's the CNN story on comanche axing then there is the osprey. muhahaha the problem with thys flying machine is, while it rox totally, it crashes every tym it flies. *sniggers* lol... sorry, i know it isnt funny, but it's costing the pentagon $12 Billion to put together...but everytym it goes up in the air, it comes down with a crash. spending billions on a flying machine taht doesnt fly isnt a very smart thyng to do. muhaahahaha. while the V-22 Osprey doesnt look half as good as the other machines, it's supposed to be big news. here's how it works on How Stuff Works ;) so the news is, washington might be chopping thys chopper too, when it goes to the capitol in 2005 for review. that'd be the death of mean machines i tell u. i just hope they dont kill all them thyngamajigies b4 i can afford to purchase a few for my garage. bummer man!

so i heard jeff beck's nadia after AGES. it's one of those tracks that sits in yer pc for ages and ages, right next to talvin singh's traveller or train's drops of jupiter... and they're there in a rather forgotten winamp list. which you load accidentally. and thynk... why dont i listen to thys stuff more often? ---------------------------------------------------- sleight of hand and twist of fate anyways i got accepted in pakistan's best business school for a master's degree. they do IT/CS/economics blah blah blah... and their graduates are sitting in microsoft and all. while i have no plans of joining microsoft (inverted snobbery), ive been wondering all day... WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING? no seriously. lets see. im in business school. i dont know how or why. it's like, i was at their campus doing a story (which i never got done btw. their MBA admissions were open, so i said, hey! i wanna do thys. you know those really bratty kids, who want everythyng they see? no? hi. im hemlock. im one of them. so i applied. i barely scraped through their GMAT-wannabe test. i got called for the interview. i blew the interview. they said: you dont have a business background. youll never survive. i said: i didnt have an art background but i graduated with honours. i didnt have a journalism background, but im one of the highest paid ppl at work. (i thynk yer missing the point. im exceptionally brilliant) they said: we dont teach. we give our students problems to solve. i said: problem solving is a skill - not somethyng you can teach. are you telling me all the Hall Road* dukandars (shopkeepers) are MBAs from your school? they've survived in the market without an MBA or problem solving skills your teachers impart, so i bet it cant be that hard. they said: whats the biggest business related news of last yr (with ref to pakistan)? ** i said: i dont know. i dont read the business pages of the newspaper. they said: you want an MBA, and you dont read the business pages? i said: duh! it's greek to me. i see numbers, lots of numbers, and they make absolutely no sense. since i HAVE no business background, and no one ever explains anythyng to me, it's slightly difficult to decipher those codes. ---------------------------------------------------- so im at work today. my mom calls, all hyped: M: beta... sorry i opened your post, but i was too excited... you got in! Me: ma, look closely. it says i DIDNT get in (ma then reads out entire text of letter, and with all "complete and return acceptance letter after reading terms and conditions") Me: hmm. amma, i thynk that means im in. ---------------------------------------------------- im in. on a full scholarship :) for accounting & finance. i get credits for a yr. so i finish the two yr prog in one. ---------------------------------------------------- i wonder what god has planned for me. He sure does move in mysterious way. notes: * hall road: the biggest market for pirated CDs, stolen hardwares (cell phones, tvs, dvds, stereo systems, the works). those ppl deal in billions. ** it's gawadar. with the whole WTO/Free trade implications blah blah. now i know.

"And the American people have got to understand that part of winning the war on terror is to encourage the habits of liberty in parts of the world that need the habits of liberty," President George W Bush. June 07, 2004 and we encourage liberty, freedom and democracy by bombing their homes, families, and wedding parties.

for until i can come up with a half-decent / semi-coherent thought, go here. woman asked to drop nazi number plate :> muhahaha! i'd love one of those. ive put up a link to wrecked exotics, but i must warn you, it's contains controversial content. i'd be seriously scandalized if i came across it elsewhere :s and then i raced my mehran with a Z4 last nite. obviously, i won. (not) so i was down at saffron's blog last nite, and she did thys handwriting analysis thyngy. i've been into all sorts of culty stuff, like ouija boards, i-ching, tarot, card readings, numerology... you name it. needless to say, i've grown up and out of it. and i can swear no free roaming spirit ever came into the cap/glass/coin/pencover. and because i always usually knew answers to the questions my friends were asking, i'd go around moving the medium...(hey! i did it out of consideration... wouldnt want them to be disappointed) that said, i thynk this stuff sux major tym. except that the writing-analysis-lady said my script has traits similar to those of Adolf Hitler and Einstein. im so happy *grins* British ducks have regional accents and im thinking of getting these cats. what say you?

i barely met my deadlines. 4 of them. gave my email to my ed, who then claimed he'd fire me unless i gave him an easier one. so i gave him the one i dont use - but have called dibs on just cuz it's my name. its not even funny. i have 3 hotmail accounts, one on yahoo, two on gmail and one at work. and no one emails me. im such a loser it's unbelievable. So close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters never cared for what they do never cared for what they know but I know never cared for what they say never cared for games they play never cared for what they do never cared for what they know and I know ive had too much ice cream. the sugar is going to my head. I tried so hard and got so far, But in the end, It doesn't even matter, I had to fall, To lose it all, But in the end, It doesn't even matter life really doesnt make sense. since i (almost) met my deadline, it means my ed isnt firing me. i wish he would, im just to damn nice to quit. cuz i feel all responsible for his work. you know, sometyms, you just wish you could switch of that semi-rational side of your brain which ends up thanking god everytym you begin to complain. you say you have a dead end job it says you have a job. you sit in an air conditioned office all day, isdn lines, ppl at yer beck and call, and you can actually tell your ed to get stuffed. (alhamdolillah) how many offices does that happen in? the rational side also tells you you crib and complain cuz you havent had to struggle for anythyng in yer life ever. you havent been jobless. I tried so hard and got so far, But in the end, It doesn't even matter, I had to fall, To lose it all, But in the end, It doesn't even matter yet everytym i get too comfortable somewhere, i get thys itch. to move on. to explore. to get another life. so ronald reagan dies at 93. honestly, i didnt know he was alive. though i was really sad when JFK Jr died. i was asleep, it was 10 in the morning, and my mom woke me up. she was reading the paper, and rather nonchalantly goes "JFK Jr is dead." i tumbled outta my bed. "wha? mom, it's no tym to joke yar..." so she says, read it for your self. i didnt read the story. i just saw his picture. which confirmed it. then the whole day i was glued to the tv, catching lill snippets here and there. and then the prince was laid to rest. i saved the time magazine memorial issue. *sigh* i just thought JFK Jr was really cute ok? no jokes man.

9 hours of being cooped up in a VIP hen pen (on the return journey sitting with a monstrosity that et lill kids for breakfast). 48 hours in isloo: 7 hours of sleep. 3 hours of worrying/freaking out. 9 hours of extreme fun (not as extreme as extreme ironing, but fun): - watching two expert cooks cook what they are experts at... and trust me, it was lip smacking good. - gift shopping for a month-old toddler and getting water-guns for 21-23-year old toddlers (abez,aniraz) - hanging out at their dad's restaurant.. man. im a lahori. when i say the food was good - i mean it R O C K E D. (B, yer so seriously missing out on GOOD lasagne - i tell you, if a woman can cook, and cook so well... that's just like. wow.) - went balloon shopping for myself. 4 for a rupee. (what can i say, im easy to please) 6 hours of analyzing how excruciatingly painful government procedures can be. 2 hours of learning what the religion i was born in is all about. (and then arriving to the conclusion it was best left to experts) 7 hours of tv/film: - east is east. too much hype man, was pathetic. a waste of tym/effort/concentration. but the other option was the patriot :p - some movie with that american pie guy. he was the 'loser' in it. hated it. - star wars. really i tried. but i just couldnt. what force? - an oprah show which talked about women being abducted within the 2-mile radius of their homes. oh yeah! that can be a real spirit booster, when yer in a foreign city and your map says 'all roads lead to china'. 4 hours of internet. chattin mostly. haunting me people's blogs. 3 hours of chilling with the hosts and their young daughter. uff! one month olds are SO SMALL. it's not even funny. im missing a 7 hours in real time. dont know where they went. lets see. thys was my first real trip alone, as in, without friends or family. (till the end i was planning to pull someone along, but since all my plans are so haphazardly put together, and even i didnt know if i was leaving at the tym i was supposed to be leaving at, thyngs didnt quite fall in place). so on my way there, it was all nice, since it was a 'VIP' coach, and the seat next to mine was free. that meant i could put my legs up and chillax. except the woman who sat across the isle couldnt believe she had to be squashed in with her 38 yr old son or somethyng, so she insisted taht the 'aunty', who was travelling with 3 rowdy kids aged 9 and down, send one of her kids at the back, "there is a seat to spare" excuse me? am i stepping on your toes? it's amazing how generous people can be with thyngs not theirs. ive learnt one lesson in my almost 23 yrs. do not get too friendly with other ppl's children while yer travelling. no matter how cute a kid is, you dont want to spend a 6 hour journey holding someone's wet-diapered child. really, you dont. some ppl tell me i have all the adventures. honestly, i could do with lesser. i almost missed my bus home. if it wasnt for my watergun-totting White Animal abez, who rescued me, id still be stuck in isloo. (which wouldnt be all too bad if i had her brownies and aniraz's pizza to see me through, but im sure they were thys >< close to chucking me out :>) i had a good tym hanging out with the two women who were, actually, crazier than myself. and i met Chai, who is just SOOOO nice. we held our scrabble game waiting for her to show, but once she did, we got so busy having fun talking, we forgot to play :D thanx yo! you guys are officially great. im glad to be back home though. it's like, you dont have to wake up at 9 in the morning just to look decent. you dont have to not use the A/c cuz yer a guest (not like my hosts didnt want me to, i had their blessings, but making yerself at home away from home just seems weird). you dont have to keep the TV volume low cuz yer in someone else's house and they're asleep. at home, you can refuse the vegetables and live on ice cream from the freezer, and go around in yer pajamas all day long (mom'll stop shouting at you to change after 5pm). and you have yer own car, free to go wherever you want, WHEN you want. you can get pizza delivered at 2 in the morning. not because you didnt like mom's dinner, but you werent hungry then, but you are now. my hosts were the nicest ppl. i realised then when i remembered i had left my clothes discarded in the middle of the room. they picked me up from the bus terminal. they gave me food, shelter, a DVD player and a laptop. and i dont mean to be ungrateful, but dorothy was right: there's no place like home. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- in other news, me mom's received a wealth tax notice. it reads: Dear Sir, i have reason to believe your wealth has "escaped assessment".... blah blah blah *looks around* hemlock replies: Dear Sir, i have reason to believe our wealth has escaped us. goodbye

Now for ten years we've been on our own, And moss grows fat on a rolling stone. But that's not how it used to be, When the jester sang for the king and queen In a coat he borrowed from James Dean, And a voice that came from you and me. And while the king was looking down, The jester stole his thorny crown. The courtroom was adjourned, No verdict was returned. And while Lenin read a book on Marx, The quartet practiced in the park, And we sang dirges in the dark, The day the music died. We were singing . . . American pie - Don MacLean --------------------------------------------- i havent been reading the newspapers lately... A) cuz i dont have the tym, and B) there is too much violence splashed all across it. but here's the one reason im boycotting nike for life. how could they? --------------------------------------------- i leave for a 2 1/2 day trip to isloo in 6 hours. and im missing home already. oh bugger!