A little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

...You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone Not fit to f**kin' tread the ground I'm walking on... ...Does it kill Does it burn Is it painful to learn That it's me that has all the control... some random lyrics to a random song im randomly listenin to these random days. ------------------------------------------------------------------ just did Deception Point. i'd give it a 2.5. please keep in mind that no book has ever scored beyond a 3.5 on my 5-point scale, so one would consider that a good rating... all thyngs kept in perspective. the issue is... maybe im too smart, or maybe since thys was my third dan brown book, i kinda figured where it was going, and umm... when thrillers become predictable... well duh! other than that, it was enjoyable reading... and he mentioned marianas trench... a place i've been fascinated with for god knows how many years... but would never really want to visit for the very simple reason that i dont like darkness, and im claustrophobic... *grin* i can never imagine myself in a sub. aaaarrrrghggghhh... LEMME OUT! *sheesh! what a scary thought*. that said, i was always under the impression the place was 8 miles deep. i wonder why that happened. and i remember someone calling it a "gorge" not a trench. khair. so yeah, the book was o-k... loads of conspiracy theories, but then... perhaps that's all what he does. someone said i should now read angels and demons. i'll give it a 6 month brk. ------------------------------------------------------------------ so owlinsky asked me to do thys thyngamajiggy from here...and umm i thynk the initial excitement of filling it out has worn off, and extreme depression has sunk in. see, slowing down and reviewing your options, or just acknowledging them even shakes you up... with the reality of where you are headed sinkin in. personally, i believe if you run fast enough, you'll outrun your thoughts and wherever that place was where you were supposed to go (or not go), and your life will pass in a blurrrrrr :D dont stop me long enough to realise where im headed. no issues there :) the funny thyng is... as i look at my list, except for ONE occupation (or activity), i find ambition strangely lacking from all the rest. since im not taking the game in it's spirit, imna cheat a bit and play it my way. :D If I could be a marine biologist...i'd probably be the happiest person on the planet. i'd live in mud hut with a roof made of palm leaves in the middle of nowhere (hopefully by the edge of a turquoise-blue sea and golden sands), with all my high tech equipment connected with satellites and whatnots. i'd speak swahili and dolphinese, and eat my lab rats *grin*... i mean specimen fish... and then write books on them. would never wanna be a deep sea diver though. If I could be a gardener... i actually considered taking up thys profession 13 years ago, when i was in england. i met with quite a few botanical engineers, and their works were so fascinating. i'd plant every tree and every bush myself, design gardens, and cross-pollinate mangoes with the venus fly trap. If I could be an innkeeper...i'd have a small B&B place somewhere in the english countryside, and would have a place to brush down horses of weary travellers (masked at times), and would sleep with a musket by my side. for safety reasons :D perhaps a chainsaw even? If I could be a mime...i thynk my life would be no different from what it is today. except it would be in black and white :) im wearing all white today. i get funny comments when i wear all white. which reminds me i'm hungry. If I could be a fighter pilot...*sigh* look. dont even get me started here. i was supposed to be an aeronautical engineer. although im sure that's not how you spell it. my chemistry teacher didnt like me, and that basically altered my entire life. EXCUSE ME!!! i have no issues with who i am... but imagine... if i could be a fighter pilot, i'd wake up and drive to work in an F-18. *wails* oh WHY did i have to be so blonde? *yawn* im tired. and sleepy. i thynk im going to get me some ice cream *WIDE GRIN* you know what??? i wouldve loved to be a chimney sweep. somethyn ive carried forward from my mary poppins days :) chim chimminy chim chimminy chim chim charu... i do what i like and i like what i do ... i'd love to be covered in soot all day :D and then no one would call me brown... they'd all accuse me of being black. oh what fun it is to fool ppl ;) but seriously. i wouldnt have to worry about starched clothes, or eyeliner and mascara... and i'd go around with a broom in my hands, ALL DAY LONG. plus i'd live on people's roofs. along with pigeons. i'd never want to be a taxi driver. simply cuz it would kill me to drive for other people, as opposed to driving for myself, as i will it. naah! i'd tag five people, but i dont thynk anyone reads my blog anymore. not that i accuse people for turning to greener pastures and better musings... but sloth has slowly been edging up on my sins list, and is only second to vanity. and the blog no longer serves it's purpose... of getting my creative juices to flow. probably cuz ive dried totally, and shrivelled up like a prune. or a prude. or a prudish prune. i dont know. and you wont tell me, cuz you arent reading thys. :p