my life gives "meaningless" a whole new meaning

*sigh* is there no such thyng as intellectual property rights in thys world??? i admit i wouldnt be getting any because of the "intellectuality" clause... but still... imagine reading a book (IN PRINT!!!) that YOU wanted to write. i've been violated in the worst possible way. i feel like the cumulative sum of the zeros in a binary sequence. right now, if i was a number, i'd be -infinity. that's how small i feel. someone thought my thoughts and printed them in book form, years before i was even born. and all thys while i was wondering where my muse had wondered off too. TURN-COAT! im talking about thys. there are two reasons why i didnt write the book before douglas adams did. a) we already know. i wasnt born then. (you're slow at thys arent you?). and b) i just didnt thynk you humanoids were ready to hear such thyngs. but despite the retardedness of the book:

"q:what's so bad about being drunk? a: ask a glass of water that!"

you have to hand it to the man for the sheer genius that seeps thru... (ladies and gentlemen i must remind you at thys point that since i had planned to write the book before thys guy... we absotively share the same brilliant idea generator. but i thynk in some parts, the book lacked foresight, and his imagination grandeur. i mean, notice... the computer in the guide can "even work out your personality problems to ten decimal places." here's the deal. if you were to enter my data, the first command the computer will give you is "invalid input, circular reference". provided we correct that glitch (although i dont see how, im an infinite loop... and since loops by definition are infinite im also unnecessarily redundant. which in thys case could hint at verbosity, but we shall refrain from any inferences at thys precise moment). that said, limiting my personality problems to ten decimal places is... well... simply NOT GIVING ME THE CREDIT I DESERVE... and being the attention seeking brat that i am... i shall not allow myself to be marginalized simply because of my gender, colour and nationality... all because someone couldnt count to infinity. but here's the deal. did you know the sum of infinity is one? i didnt know that. so if 0.infinity (zero-point-infinity) = 1, then that's simply saying im one big psycho. or not. cuz tjhat's precisely what the equation is saying about you. mu ha ha ha. and anyways, what wrong with my colour man? my hair is somewhere... at the saloon (i left most of them there after my last haircut. brought home whatever was refusing to leave my skull) but no, what im saying is... what's wrong with my colour? my hair is somewhere... at the saloon (i left most of them there after... WOAH!!! wait a second. see what i mean about the infinite loop? anyways, im 3.8 medium chestnut brown (and we arent talking about my hair now... which by the way is different for each strand... ranging from orange to pink to red to brown to black... kinda happens after excessive years of spinsterhood)... and as for my nationality... doesnt no one believe in equality no more? i mean, according to Aristotelian logic... all men are pigs. quick review philosophy 101 - syllogistic form: all men are mortal socrates is a man therefore, socrates is mortal. by the same definition and chain of logic: men are males, pigs are males, therefore, all men are pigs. im SO NOT into guy bashing, but philosophy is a wonderful science. ----------------------------------------------------- if i only had my towel man... if i only had my towel. ----------------------------------------------------- quote of the day: "they've got as much sex appeal as a car accident"