n-1degrees of freedom

me thynks i should get some breakfast. me also thynks me would like to show you thys link i picked up here (i just havent REALLY decided yet, if i wanna. you know). in some unrelated news, my destiny (using my first name only) is to die in war. using my sirname as well as my first, my destiny takes an interesting turn and i become the "destroyer of human kind"(has a nice rrrring to it dont you thynk?) -- a destiny which shall be realized on septembver 12, 2020. now that does sound more like me. or a career option i would definitely want to look into. except i dont thynk i wish to wait that long for results. you know. kids these days have no patience. the quiz though, did have an entry for colour. me being anal as i am, couldnt figure out if it meant "favourite colour" or "colour of your skin". i figured "favourite colour" would be a better option to go with, since one can never be sure if the colour of their skin is wheatish, or honey, or simply pale green. and anyways, a few minutes under the sun and you'll become an overcooked brownie... in some more unrelated news, thys world is freakishly small. freakishly. if it wasnt enough that ushi and i, introduced by "two spaced out amreeki kurries" turned out to know each other... i found three other links to her on orkut. (so now she can find out where i live... in case she wants to hunt me down and kill me for the movies i was supposed to return over a week ago) laughing that off, and totally trying to forget my mom spent a few good years at waleed's mom's place... last night i was whining away to a friend of mine, telling him how unplanistically my holidays were creeping along... when another window pops up... a friend i picked up on the irc (before i swore it off for ever) 4 years ago asking me how i knew thys guy. lo and behold. they went to the same schools/colleges, their dads have been friends for faaaaaarrrr too long... and all of a sudden, i was "company". blah! so i just logged off... dont care much about memories im not starring in :p the internet is no longer a safe place for me to be hiding at. im thynking of shifting into some parallel universe. im told jinns are nice company. and not half as inter-(net)-connected.

howwwwzzzzzaaat?! (interrobang!)

Stick Cricket is interrobang spelt with a single r, or a double r... like rr?

eh?

im sooooooooooo uninspired. oh blah! i feel like whining. ive been off from school for two days, and all thys tym on my hands is pretty much driving me crazy. ive seen a terrible movie almost the whole world had recommended (Love Actually)... it STANK... with a capital C. yeah i know stank doesnt have a c, but cleopetra did, so there. and that my dear, is the beauty of logic. yeah so. it was supposed to be a romantic comedy. sue me. because by the end of it, i was bored beyond tears. i tried reading paulo coelho... umm... im currently trying very hard to fall in love with what he calls the third in the series of whatever... and interestingly, though i throughly did enjoy Veronika Decides Die... and By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept... im still trying to feign interest, and im already halfway thru the book. now you must understand, Veronika was a GOOD book. infact, it was a great book. see. im not a great fan of The Alchemist. there. i said it. i know it stands next to blasphemy... but really, that book was SO FULL OF IT. eh... chemically induced inspiration. i thynk i would only ever believe ANY of what was written in that... if i were on weed. umm no. if i were on LSD. or PCP. weed just doesnt cut it enuff. veronika, on the other hand, made sense. basically, it's about a girl who has everythyng, and because she does, she very simply decides to kill herself... since there aint much left to do. i guess it stands so close to my heart simply because ive been rather fond of madness and all thyngs unacceptable since i was a kid :D somewhere in the 16th century, thys priest guy called Dryden said: there is a pleasure sure in being mad that no one but madmen know coelho, on the other hand, said madness was "merely the inability to communicate one's ideas" i dunno. im happy being uncommunicative :D but yeah, veronika was great. the book with the longer name was a grrrrrrrreat read. if yer into romantic shyte. im not. but i still enjoyed it. or some of it. maybe because of my incredibly sour mood... i have just not been able to sink myself into the thyrd in thys series: The Devil and Miss Prym...everythyn just seems so blah these days. when life was sunnier, i read Digital Fortress, as a prelude to Da Vinci Code. now, digital fortress rocked. cuz of which now i DO have higher expectations from dan brown. lets see how thys cookie crumbles. but im just very blah right now. excuse me.

change around the words that you say...

my car seems to have become a graffiti spot or somat... the problem is, since it's parked in the parkin lot ALL day, it gathers a lot of dust. and the parking lot is kinda central, right next to the building, and my car is almost like GLUED to that point (i go really early in the morning, and park it in what i have come to fondly call "MY PARKING SPACE")... so you pretty much see it there, 6 days a week, 18 hours a day :) one would thynk i live on campus. my friends can now tell simply by chking out the parking lot if im on campus or not. coming back to the graffiti story. so like, one day im getting ready to go home after three days, and i go to my car, which had by that tym gathered ummm... a lot of dust... and i see a message waiting for me. it said: wash me blah. it's my car. and it's allergic to water and all thyngs cold and wet. the other day, my friends were like, lets go out for breakfast. so we are about to get in, and one of them goes... oh look! another "wash me message" and i was offended! i mean, how rude can you get. so i took my finger and mannereticaly corrected it... to read: wash me please then one of the guys goes... hey! look what i can do so he put an "S" before the wash. another of my friends added a s,d and a to the message, so the boot of my car said: Swash smeda please. engrishlically speaking, that doesnt make too much sense. SMEDA, btw, stands for Small and Medium Enterprise Development Authority. please is simply a politer way of saying do as i say or i will kill you. today, my friends called me up just to tell me they were stood by my car writing all organizational behaviour theories on the hood of my car. "it'll help us retain it better," they said. people, my car in NOT a blackboard. it's not a WHITEBOARD either. if you want to leave me a message... dont. i probably dont want anythyng to do with you, and lay off my car and my parking space... im very shenshitive you know :p it's like... when i go realllllllllly homesick, i go take a look at my car and then im happy :D *big grin* ------------------------------------------------------------------ so everyone's gone back home... chij-bachee and niqabified prolly still thynk im an aunty (though they never clarified... they DID mention though, that i was "too old") i owe ushi 6 movies: which are effectively keeping me away from my books during my final exams... her sister turned out to be someone i knew years ago... and man! was i embarrassed... it's like... THAT period of my life ive pretty much erased from my memory... if i were to meet most of them people today, i'd be going around apologizing whole-heartedly for being who i was... my only excuse is i was 17... or 18 or 19 or basically, just VERY stupid (and arrogant and snotty and rude)... i didnt want to know HOW (or why) ushi's sister recalled me the minute she saw me... but im almost really noice now... and even bezzy says im not half as poisonous as hemlock :$ and i say salam to everyone of the security guards and the sweepers in school... and i know the name of my cleaning lady (in the dorm)... i take out random bloggers for shopping... and um... umm... i answer all my Text messages... :D am i cleansed yet? coming back to another superb weekend... i could tell you how it was, but the thyng is... like the last tym owl, abez, momma came, we dyed my hair purple, and i showed off my culinary skills by flipping pancakes (after 5 yrs). thys tym they spend 18 hours talking about and consuming food, while i was fasting. some experiences JUST cannot be put down in words, so im not even going to try. for travelogues, go to their blogs. they are so much more better at thys stuff than i am, so me aint even gonna bother. ------------------------------------------------------------------ i have an exam tomorrow. and i cant sleep. hence a barrage of words of no religious, cultural, social, moral, ethical, metaphysical or neurological value. i need to sleep and i need to study. guess which option imna take.

shall we begin anew?

hi. im hemlock. i own thys blog. when i have tym to claim ownership. i used to be funny. now im deprived of ice cream. i used to have a life. i exchanged it for a box of matches and a can of gasoline. sadly, i dont thynk i'll ever figure out how to put ANY of the above to good use.

errrrrrrrrrrp!

hehehe... umm... guess what! ;)

bad thyngs happen to good ppl. it's a given

ive been at it for the last three days now, and i still havent decided which wall would be the best to bash my head in. i took binji's advice and wolfed down icecream, that didnt help... so like, my cousin died the night before eid... he was shot dead right outside his house... in an attempted robbery. what's more tragic is they didnt even take away the bangles and the jewellery they were after. ive been trying to swallow thys news for the last four days, and ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you i havent been able to... my head HAS been reeling, my forehead is now totally creased, and i dont know how to feel or what to thynk. he was 32, married 5 years ago (it was a love marriage typa thyngie), has two BEAUTIFUL daughters aged 3.5 and 1.5... and poof. he is no more. he was the eldest of the eldest... like the eldest of the cousins... and first from our generation to go. we were never really close, like in the past three years we met say... 6 tyms? at family dinners??? but i LOVE his mom and dad... they are by far the nicest, most selfless people and i know, and damn it, they didnt deserve thys. so thys is in the memory of my bro-type, who passed away saturday, november 13, 2004. (shawal 1st, 1425) may Allah bless his soul. amen

frankly my dear, i dont give a damn

you know, i dont REALLY feel like blogging right now. but then, i dont feel like doing anythyng else either... i could sit here have an entire conversation with myself, but then i dont see why i should blog that... i mean... i dont even like you... (and you can take that personally if you like... i dont particularly care {eds note: please ignore her, we appologize on her behalf--she's in a rotten mood, and that's our only explanation}) oh blah! one cannot even be rude without care... damn u rhett butler, how could you so nonchalantly say what you did???

les misrables

im sooooooooooooooo tired. *sigh* i have at least 4 VERY important emails to reply to... like seriously important... but i have absolutely no email-energy left in me... and as it is, some of them have been sitting in my inboxes for over two weeks. (actually, one is now a month old). i know! it's horrible, but some thyngs i CANT do off the top of my head... like i do blogging, and that one mail im talking about was actually so interesting that i'd like to be paying attention to it when i write that reply...*grin* so im saying thys here as an appology to all them folks who are waiting (or NOT waiting anymore) for me to reply... i will do... inshallah, just dont know when :) plz put up with me for just a few more days (the rest of my life to be more exact in terms of duration). so lyke get thys: ive just won 15,000,000,000000000 usd. here: ATTENTION:REF/EG/2551256003/01BATCH/000750013 RE: AWARD CLAIM FINAL NOTFICATION. It is our pleasure to inform you that you have emerged as a Category "C" winner of the LOTERIA PRIMITIVA SWEEPSTAKE PROGRAM. CONGRATULATIONS! You are entitled to a prize sum of 1,500,000.00.Usd Reference number for your prize is EG/2551256003/01, batch number 000750013.As a category "C" winner, you have been selected from atotal number of 100,000 names drawn from Asia, Africa,Europe, Middle East and America. After the computer ballot of our International Promotions Program, onlyTen winners emerged in this category and therefore are to receive payouts of (1,500,000.00 Usd) from the total 15,000,000.00Usd for Third category winners.To immediately collect your prize, please contact our category "C" claim agent with information below:Mr. Jose Maria Fernadez(Assistant Payment Coordinator)Global Credit CommissionTel/Fax: +34 636 848 267email: jmfernadez@gcreditcommission.com OR jmfernadezgcc@netscape.netProvide prize reference number EG/2551256003/01 and winning batch number-000750013 for confirmation. In your best interest, you must initiate contact within one week of receipt of this correspondence.You are also advised to send a copy of this message by email to your claim agent Mr. Jose Maria Fernadez,when contacting him also state your full names and address this is very important.You are to keep all lotto information from the public as we will not entertain cases of multiple claims processing or compromise the privacy and security for all winners.Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification. Please do not reply to this mail, contact your claims agent as instructed above.Other necessary LOTERIA PRIMITIVA SWEEPSTAKE PROGRAM information are:International Lottery code no: LD 280972You may be required to provide the above information during the process of collecting your prize.We congratulate you once again and it is our hope that you participate in any of our international programs in the nearest future. Thank you. YOURS SINCERELY, GONZALEZ JABEZ VICE PRESIDENT i wouldve believed it all, had the "yours sincerely" NOT been in uppercase. you know.

going! going! gone!

man. i wanna sell thys blog. any takers? bidding open till 7pm east coast tym. and since i dont know what that translates into in my tym, the house shall close november 10, 9pm pakistan standard tym.

that's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight

spot the bed and win a million $s. *sigh* thys, ladies and gentlemen, was once upon a tym my bedroom. i tried looking in teh same place today, and guess what, i couldnt find it. if you look closely, there is a very fine very thyn, very visible layer of dust on the study table... when abez came the last tym, she imprinted those memorable words:

abez was here

(shawshank redemption style) anyways, i have a grand aftar at my place tomorrow, all my college mates coming over n stuff... and im lyk thynking, i need to throw thys room as far aaway from my home as is humanly possble... GENNIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! wherefore art thou o genie o tha magic lamp??? i used to know thys place, once upon a tym. it was my space. some ppl just couldnt wait to see me go. ed's note: in case yer curious, the furniture is black, the carpet blue, and the curtains maroon. when they are visible.

it always seems the same

i dont complain about thyngs that really matter. it doesnt mean im not hurting. im not one to say life is unfair. but i cant help wishing it was different.

"i'm pretty tired... think I'll go home now"

hello. im forrest gump. it's five in the morning, i've had some rather insignificant sehri, after the sehri i had yesterday -- the two dates i opened my roza with not withstanding. an incredible thyng happened the other day. i left my dorm for classes at 9 in the morning. had classes, studied a bit, worked on an assignment that was due at 9 am, and when i got back into my room, it was 7.30 am of the next day. i'd been on campus, working for 22 and a half hours, and i hadnt had tym to go to my room. i dont thynk i even remembered i had a room in that entire tym. "And that's all I have to say about that" -- forrest gump. i really dont know why i cant be a window cleaner in new york. i thynk except for the smog and the traffic and the crowds and teh pollution... ok wait, scratch that, change the place from new york to ummm... a place with some serious sky scrapers minus all the trash. i'd say right now, the most fulfilling career i see for myself is hanging from tall buildings cleaning them. really, it's gotta be fun, if you know what i mean. at least you wont be screamin regression in the middle of your sleep. my mom asked me what clothes i would like made for eid. i said "take the values plotted on the regression plot and give them to the tailor." dunno what he's gonna do with those man. damn, i still got five pages of analysis to do, and i so dont feel like working on it anymore. sadly, no one cares about my feelings here. in fact, im paying them to treat me the way to do. *sigh... some ppl never learn*

bomb's away

my mom called me wednesday night to tell me there'd been 8 shots fired outside our house and there had been some sort of an undercover operation and blah blah blah... so i was like... yeah cool man, i always miss the excitement. my brother called me later on in the night to tell me details. and they dont seem that exciting anymore. apparently, the story went somethyng lyk thys ... policemen in plain clothes were seen chasing two guys, and when one almost got away, they fired 8 rounds at him, he was hit with two, captured, put in an unmarked vehicle, and taken away. they recovered 13 grenades, 6 rocket-launchers and small handy kinda firearms (an AK-47 included). and they were planning to plant them in the mosque near our place, to get ready either for the 'juma prayers' or the tarawiehs on the 21st ramadan... (which was yesterday). and the plan thys tym was to not just bomb the mosque, but create havoc on a greater scale and bring down the houses next to it. bring down my house. let me tell you a bit abt where i live. it's a pretty secluded area right in the middle of lahore. the houses are owned by the government, and you have to be at a certain position to be eligible for one. my mom's in govt. service, and we've been living her for around 8 years now. G.O.R (government officers' residence) hosts the powerhouses of bureaucracy... decision makers, movers and shakers, and all that jazz. imagine thys small community, two to three hundred houses in all, sealed by walls and 7 gates -- only two of which are open. all of the gates are guarded 24/7. for the most part, until today, ive never felt insecure living here. i can walk out of my house at three in the morning, alone, and i know there isnt anythyng to fear. i never thought there was anythyng to fear in my city either... but im having to rethynk my beliefs. the people captured include the brother-in-law of the masjid's imam, a khokay wala (small-tym vendor) who sells cigarettes and pan right outside one of the gates, and thys third guy who is also associated with the management of GOR. and knowing all that happened right outside my door (literally), that too when i hadnt been home for 5 days, it doesnt make me too happy. guess who all was involved. ISI, IB, FIA and the elite force. actually, the IB werent involved, which was why they were forth coming with the information the FIA and official government sources were denying. this story goes on, but im not going there. where i am going with this is... how were these ppl able to get inside here with so much ammo? and how were they caught? what's the guarantee it wont happen again? and that if it does, the agencies will be as successful? what if god forbid somethyng had happened? while i was away at college working to get a piece of paper? dudes, i thought i knew stress, and i knew fear. im not too sure anymore. i had finally gotten over weighing my family over my education... and decided i could give another two years to a degree. im back at square one today, and walking backwards. for the first tym in my life have i really understood what living in a country ridden with terrorists is all about. ------------------------------------------- and in today's news: lahore police attacked outside mosque as asar prayers end

RelaXin_

*drums fingers* *taps keyboard* *looks at clock on teh wall* -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- -tick- now if i had a hammer, i'd kill tym. but i don't. but then, i have tym. and i dont know what to do with it. umm... actually, i have 20 minutes to do away with before i start doing what i was supposed to do twenty minutes from now. and i dont know what to do in teh mean tym. see, it's not that im being super efficent, um... it's just that i spent last night doing an accounting assignment that adds absolutely no value to my life, where as i was supposed to sleep. you know? that beautiful state where your mind doesnt matter? *sigh* Eds note: to brave the path of yet another tough day in her life, hemlock slipped on her nikes. walking down the stairs she tripped on her feet and broke her head open. medics have confirmed no damage was done since there was nothing to damage in her already damaged head.

count on me to be me

it's 5.30 in the morn... so dont expect me to make too much sense, and take what i say at face value. or not. i dont know. i may not mean a lot of what i say, but then, i may not say it if i dont mean it. at the end of the day, it's up to you how much of nothing you wish to believe. so chij bachee visited my school on friday, to see me. the only problem with that was, i didnt know. and whenever i get the chance, i take myself as far away from school as is realistically possible (in teh past two months, ive quit the city twice)... in response to thys, DeOwl said:

"Lol, yeh Hemmie is an elusive creature. She's always here there and everywhere, but rarely where you want her. Still awesome though. Hope you guys can actually meet up next time."

ok. that doesnt help. do you have any idea how it feels to live a life where yer never really sure of what you'll be doing next? or where yer gonna be going? or where you'll start and exactly where yell end up? when i realised all what i was doing to myself, i was really worried, but the other option i had was to put some order in my lyf... and ya'll know what my reaction to that would've been... so i learnt instead to live with my unpredictability... and today, my unpredictabletedness is the only certainity i got. (btw, that isnt really a condition {yet}... but i guess that's it would be terminologically called if a lot of people suffered from it and it qualified as a medical condition). and since i generally do everythyng in a flurry, more often than not, i dont really know where im coming from... i just know i bin there...somewhere...(but in the end, it doesnt even matter)... lyk these guys here, at school, kinda get mad at me for not telling them where i'd be, or not sticking with teh (tentative) itinerary provided by me. them: you werent in teh lab me: i was supposed to be there because? them: we had an assignment me: so them: did you do it? me: i have all intentions to *fingers crossed* them: we dont got tym me: there's always plenty of tym them: that still doesnt tell us where you were me: around them: 0_o me: look, i was coming to the lab, decided to go to the superstore to get batteries, ran into someone who was having problems believing in god, convinced them why they shouldnt be confused about it, and that tehre was no reason to believe in one if they didnt feel up to it... i was about to head straight for the lab but my cell rang and it was my sister who was lurking around campus and wanted me to go chillax w/ her (read: have icecream) so i went out. and now im back, still trying to reach teh damn lab but i ran into you instead and now youve taken up another 30 minutes of my tym trying to understand why ive been where ive been... a phenomenon that eludes me more than u. hun chain aya ee? teh worst part about being a scatterbraineddimwit is that your life lacks focus. the best part about not having focus is that you can be absolutely anywhere where you damn well want and not feel bad about being three million lightyears away from where you couldve been.