smallville

a man has been known to do crazy things when he has nothing to do. a woman suffers no such ailments. she just takes random pictures of random nothings. take the following picture for example. if according to the signs, the red bin is for glass, the green one for food/organic, the blue one for paper and the orange one for plastic, than why is the green bin under the red sign, the orange bin under the green sign, and the red bin under the orange sign? do you realise how complicated things can get? and i thought relationships were hard. here, recycling is posing a threat to my sanity. but my friend told me not to worry "you can be dumped in any/all of the bins." friends. what would u do without them. 10 reasons i love pakistan. this was JUST beautiful. totally completely thoroughly beautiful. i'm AMAZED (stunned, m0rtified, appalled at the level of ignorance prevalent in our qaum (folkses). it's sad how money isnt a guarantee of ANYTHING... *sigh* my life these days? if you look really really hard, you WONT be able to spot the building behind the tree :) i took this picture as soon as i got to college 8 am. and then at 10 am :) if you look real hard, you STILL wont be able to see the building :) if only everything in life could vanish so easy. hello sHunshine the shun likes me. we play hide and seek. that's the shun, shmiling down at me. through the fog. fenk u shun. u cheer me up :) *goofy smile*

it is nothing compared to what it can be

drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip... {eds note: for details, go here.}

it is strange how i can empathise... :) 

wasted

ever been in that state of conflict, where the only right option is the third one... the one that isnt on the board? of getting sloshed and driving into a wall?

this ain't no love song

you know what's really sad? in my 24 long years, ive only ever been dedicated a song once. one time, in my whole life! and that too by my best friend when she was djay-ing at a local radio station. that was cool though... she called me in a rush one day... shouting, unnaah (her name for me), switch on your radio... which i did... and she had a very sweet message, and she played my favourite song from when i was young :) RDB's Daru... the idea behind that song kicked ass... (when one was young and foolish, and believed the world was at their feet...) now, it doesnt hold the same. but seriously!!! what a sad sad existance. i just cant stop laughing. today as i was driving home from school, i was (wishfully) thinking, that if anyone would ever write/sing/compose a song for me, it would have to be somewhat similar to chris isaac's wicked game. that song has soul. it's so beautiful!!! umm cheezy, i agree, but then the whole concept of having a song written for one is cheezy... so i guess that cancels out. i was once dedicated a song by association *grin* see, well, once we were in school... that sad age of a decade ago, we were out at this "hip" joint called copper kettle (it had only recently opened, and had hell loads of snob appeal to it... since the idea of such a joint in the then pakistan was very novel in itself). they had thys most gorgeous lookin DJ there, who also happened to be "like, the cutest guy on the planet" ... DJ oozy (comments of now: eww). anyways. so it was like my birthday, and as a treat, i was allowed to have it there... which was like, the best birthday present ever (*rolls eyes*). there came a friend of mine, looking...umm... very "hot" in a red dress, and over and over again, some guys kept on getting "lady in red" played for her... with a "special" message thrown in now and then. i still think since i was the birthday girl and i was wearing maroon, that song SHOULDVE been dedicated to me :/ *hmph* and i think that since she was MY friend, was wearing red (very close to maroon), and it was my birthday, the song was actually meant for me. but yeah, a sad sad story of my life... no odes dedicated to my flowing(?) raven black(?) hair... my fair (???) skin... err... i cant believe i've just typed this post out. *rolls on the floor, dies laughing* but yeah, remember, it's high time someone wrote me a sonnet... if u wish to write a song, take a few lessons from chris isaac... :) humpty dumpty is good too, if you are a novice at poetry.

i want to play with legos

i had a really really really nice day. after a loooong time :) despite that it ended with me being hell sick, having caught the bug... im at peace after ages :) subhanallah.

sick cycle carousel

If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine If it had a home would it be my eyes Would you believe me if I said I am tired of this Well here we go one more time I tried to climb your steps I tried to chase you down I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground I tried to earn my way I tried to change this mind You better believe that I tried to beat this So when will this end It goes on and on And over and over and over again Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop Till I step down from this for good I never thought I’d end up here I never thought I’d be standing where I am I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this I guess I was wrong now one more time Cause I tried to climb your steps I tried to chase you down I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground I tried to earn my way I tried to change this mind You better believe that I tried to beat this, So when will this end It goes on and on And over and over and over again Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop Till I step down from this Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah Sick cycle carousel This is a sick cycle yeah So when will this end It goes on and on And over and over and over again Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop Till I step down from this for good When will this endIt goes on and on And over and over and over again Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop Till I step down from this for good Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel Sick cycle carousel -- lifehouse when you dont have the words, post lyrics :)

will self destruct in five... four... three... two...

im alhamdolillah well fed, have had my evening cuppa chai, and life right now, seems beautiful. i have time for a shower, and time to manicure my nails. i've paid my astronomical phone bill, although im wondering how THAT has come to be. since i dont call ppl. i just text. i hate texting, but ive been doing it so often lately, that my sms bill is three times that of my outgoing calls. *shrugs* i was hysterical this evening. totally, completely. edgy. i came home from school, starving, yeh woh... and i come home to find that my kitchen has been torn down. it was expected, but i just never imagined the implications. one of which was that i wouldnt get my two cups of chai i HAVE to have as soon as i return from school. the other was the missing lunch. but beyond that, hungry and caffine depreived, i took my car in to the workshop, to leave it there for a week, for reconstruction and a face-lift... except the guy said i would have to bring it in "day after tomorrow, at 9am sharp"... wtf... even our neurosurgeons dont act so pompous. besides that, my car needs an oil change, a new battery, and a host of other minor repairs. uff i was devastated bringing it back home. *sigh* i want to see it happy again :$ im not thinking straight right now. between publishing and saving this post as a draft, im double minded. im obviously preoccupied with meeks, who talks too much... which is why i totally love him. meeks, have i told u i love u? here's what we were talking about, which basically kept me from blogging about whatever it was i had been dying to blog about... im blind melon... he's decayed. blind melon says: im bringing him to your party blind melon says: he might not want to come though ..decadance says: oh it's not happening ..decadance says: sister isn't coming any more. blind melon says: WHAT ..decadance says: or ***e. blind melon says: NO WAY ..decadance says: they went to the embassy ..decadance says: and the embassy pissed them off ..decadance says: so ***e said he doesn't want to go. blind melon says: I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO GO TO A RICH PPL PARTY! ..decadance says: . ..decadance says: ... ..decadance says: so did i dude! blind melon says: ROFLOL blind melon says: where they serve champagne and wear little little clothes blind melon says: and eat with 6 different types of forks ..decadance says: hahah ..decadance says: yes. ..decadance says: one of those. ...... blind melon says: ive gone too quiet ..decadance says: so? ..decadance says: isn't that alright? ..decadance says: i mean that's what i'd want if i was you... ..decadance says: guys love to talk you know. ..decadance says: if we do all the talking, ..decadance says: we think we've had a good time. ..decadance says: if you do all the talking blind melon says: LOL ..decadance says: we think you've had a good time. ....... blind melon says: can i blog a bit of our convo? ..decadance says: sure... ..decadance says: just because you're so cute. and that last part? i saved it simply cuz ppl dont tell me im "cute" too often... i mean, often enough.

crunch.

i really like to be positive about things. i mean that. i like to see the silver lining in every cloud, and when i cant find one, i improvise. i brought my car home today. in another car. ok, that may be an exageration, cuz most of the car was intact, but someone decided to cut a red light, and ram into my car, and then drive off. i had a friend with me at that time, he goes, you wanna chase that guy? i was like no... honestly, i was so disgusted by the whole issue, that i really believed, if i HAD caught up with him, i wouldve ripped him to shreds. just like he did my car. my brand-fucking-new car. Rrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! drove STRAIGHT into mine. because my signal was green, and i was taking a turn. maybe he was in a hurry. immediately, at that point, a couple of things had occured to me: a) my car is insured. b) it was smack noon. i didnt want to create a scene in the middle of the square. we pakistanis have a flair for drama, and a passion for theatre. a huge crowd gathering to get kicks out of my misery wouldnt have helped. c) the damage was done. my kicking his face in would have been unproductive. d) only YESTERDAY, i ahd witnessed two AWFUL accidents in the very vacinity; in one incident, one car had turned turtle, and the other had climbed up a pole. it is difficult to say if either of the drivers had survived. as those scenes rang thru my mind, i thanked Allah that both me and my friend were safe. period. (lets see. he's insured, im not) :p this was what my car looked like, as i drove it home. as my friend and i plonked the torn plastic into the back seat, we came to the conclusion that without sufficient cover, even the honda civic can be one ugly car :) im trying to make light of the situation here. humour me. if anything, my head has been reeling, and ive got a serious headache from teh hysterics. and i cant really let it out when im hysterical. so i ended up watching the 20- yr anniversary of the oprah winfrey show instead. when my sister came home, she gave me a hug, a high-five, and the compliments "not a bad, gurl!" my mom, saw the car, asked me WHY i hadnt chased the jerk and brought him to justice, and is now trying to sleep the tension off. silly girl, she wont be able to, she can never sleep when she is tense. ive called my brother, asking him to come home, so we can take the car to be fixed. it's trip to the metaldoctor is long overdue anyways! where the bumper used to be... lots of scratches remain :( you know, if im going to be responsible for manhandling the car, i'd like to give it JUST ONE HIT. the sort of a hit a car of this calibre deserves.

the treason of isengard

i have being edgy, or restless. the feeling is so... eww i end up wearing down the carpet in the living room. and you can only do 386 rounds of a room before you get bored, and perhaps itchier. eww hmph. i need some serious sugar to calm my nerves. or somat. cola maybe? plus i need to download the ghostbuster's theme song. but cuz i almost erased all the programmes on my pc, im having to reinstall limewire, which is taking forever. eww plus ive messed the mouse, and now need a new one. that is just soooo eww! i have a lunch meeting with my prospective boss tomorrow. it's bloody important. supposedly. im just like... eww. i have to update my CV, and send it in to the career development officer. ugh. i cant believe im doing this. like really really doing it. :) what's funny is how im totally unfit for the system. i had an interview with P&G last year. the most coveted organization in the world. they have like a rigorous recruiting process, with like 10 tests before they call you for a series of interviews. if you are rejected once (at any stage), you can apply again, but the dont consider you. it's as simple as that. and if you dont get in as an internee, you dont get in, period. so, i go in for this job interview... yeh woh... it was going fine, until she asked me what my future plans were. so i looked her straight in the eye, and said, well, inshallah, three yrs from now, im going to have my own business. ok. if you dont know what that means, you NEVER mention such blasphemous desires, specially when you are signing up to be a corporate bitch! needless to say, they didnt call me back for a second interview :D hehehe. koi bat nai, shit happens ;) anyways, so like, my car broke down today. it was hilarious. i go a knight in shinin armour to rescue me. it was so cool. im wondering what to get him as a thank u gift. he's a friend, but only a very recent one... but he totally helped me out, and i hate being indebted :$ flowers? or chocolates? a .4 calibre S&W? considering how he doesnt smoke...?

blur

a very old friend of mine, whom i never really chat with, msged me today, saying my nick was very depressing, and if everything was ok. i had to explain to him the nick wasnt of my choosing, and it was more of how meeks had described my life... or me rather... as bleeding to death. you can ask HIM where he got to that conclusion from. but i sorta kinda maybe agreed a bit with it. i mean, when a thing stops growing, it starts dying right? ive bene 5'6" for three yrs now. but im sure that isnt what someone meant. i forgot who was saying what. i got distracted by these really cute emoticons ive stolen from a friend's msn. umm, but yeah, bleeding to death, does sound rather melodramatic, innit. *Shrugs* but i feel really weird at times, seriously as if all happiness is being sucked out of me. i know that isnt really possible, because my chemical composition is inherently that of a happy person... i cant be sad for too long... but these days, ive just been depressed for longer and longer intervals, with their frequency increasing also. and if anything, i do it to myself. for whatever reasons. i may even have a perfect solution to my problem also, but i guess im just not miserable enough to drag me out of my misery yet. i wonder how long.

home again

it's back to school tomorrow, and my stuff is still lying in the school lockers, which means if i am to do something about that guilt that is bothering me, i need to go pick it up. that way, i might feel less bad about not being prepared for class tomorrow. i mean. at least i made the effort of going out and picking up the stuff. anyways, almost the entire week has been spent trying to clean up this damn machine im running, and it's a tough job, when the only thing you know about computers is how to log on to msn. for some reason, my drives are showing much much more "used space" than they are actually using. for the c drive, atleast 1.5 gb IS vacant... but it's only showing me 600mb... and i dont know what that means. ive tried running virus checks, tried defragging it, and then have also messed with the memory settings. nothing. i just might have to take it to a techy, who will then format the pc :p which i can do just as well. i totally dont want to. formatting pcs have other issues. while the pc was cleaning itself, i decided to rip the keyboard apart, and clean that up. that was fun :D what was more fun was mixing up the keys when i put them back on. $kiy si dacsa ri!% (you no think so?) lets see. got the doors of my car fixed. that was way cool. i feel all growed up. besides all that, ive found manicures to be worth it. now i cant decided if i should go grab my study pack first, or gimme a manicure. and then im having this serious craving for coffee. choices, choices.

a sad day for autobiographies

i finished reading aman (the story of a somali girl) today. it was, by far, probably the worst book i have EVER come across. notice emphesis on "ever". as in, worse than the worst book i have ever read. in terms of style of writing, or the content... or the story, the polt... the anything. it's just a very shitty story! the only redeeming feature of the book is that it wakes you up to the fact that somalia wasnt always a war/famine stricken country. now that ive told u that much, you dont have to read the book.