*blog censored for sobby content*- Ed

ive been pigging out on desi food, and trust me, that aint a good thyng. plus ive had way too much tym on my hands, hence the annual blog round everyday. *sigh* someone gimme work plz. yeah so anyway, here's one reason virtual relationships dont work: Tina's groove, and Pardon My Planet are two ultra cool comix i stumbled upon, during my dangerous trek across the web. sometym soon i'll add them to my links. anyways, im REALLY bored, so on an OFF note, the russian army has topped the list for being the toughest/worst in the world. according to the Reuters New Agency, almost 80 Russian servicemen, including 24 officers, have killed themselves in Russia's demoralised armed forces so far this year (that would be 4 months yet). The Defence Ministry refused to comment on the report. A pressure group for soldiers' rights said the figure of 78 suicides roughly tallied with its estimate for the forces, where bullying and desertion are rife. "Today suicide accounts for more than half of the total number of deaths in the armed forces," the source told Interfax. Khair. so i was registering my blog on the muslim bloggers society (or somethyng to that affect) and i realised my ramblings have absolutely no socially redeeming features, and can never be shortlisted for the Orange Prize for Fiction. if i cant get that, i probably dont stand a chance of winning the Nobel for literature. "sob!" *severe inferiority complex attacks* *runs off crying* i tried to be funny folks, i really did... honest i just no longer have that midas touch. Oh yeah! on yet ANOTHER off note, a friend of mine has promised to bring me Arsenal, Man U-a Nistelroy one at that ;), and Real Madrid sweats (Real i love just for their value in UK pounds)... *jumps around, dances little jig* so that's somethyn to look forward to. all other premiership fans feel free to forward Ts, socks, boots, sweats, jerseys, and all other soccer paraphernalia you can get you hands on :> thanx yo!

the worst thyng about not keeping in touch with family over the years is having to read or hear about them in international news. today, as i was going through AFP photos, i find my cousins in Madrid are modelling for some hot shot Spanish designer David Delfin.... see the resemblance? what is the world coming to?

aah! it's summer tym in pakistan again... waat B-liss :p it's typically characterized by a scorching May sun, blistering June heat, pouring July rains, stifling August humidity, and a combination of all four that lasts through september, october, and half of november. if the weather doesnt kill you, the insects will. the good thyng about pakistani summer is you witness two whole weeks of strawberries and spring before the sun sets in and wilts everythyng... the flowers, the fruit, and needless to say, ice cream. the flaming trees that line the canal make the most amazing pictures. too bad i cant find some pix taken by our photographers, but when the trees are in full bloom, the whole atmosphere is indescribable. then there are the gladiolas, and the tuberoses (you may have guessed... im a flower-flower person)... That's the good side of summer/spring. the bad side, is the end of winters. hence the hybernation period of insects, reptiles and bears. while fortunately for us, there are not too many bears in lahore, there are way too many lizards, cockroaches, spiders, mosquitoes and mango-bugs for my comfort. lets begin w/ lizards. i dont mind lizards. in fact, them and i have shared the bathroom and showers a number of times. ive seen all kinds. with tails, without tails, pregnant ones, black ones, orange ones, striped ones... the list is endless. but then there are tyms i like my privacy and my space. for such tyms i keep a gun w/ me. it's an unlicensed rifle, and used specifically for hunting birds and reptiles scaling your walls. i'd say my aim is good, except there was thys one tym, when i shot a huge FAT lizard, and leaving a trail of blood on the wall, it ran off. i saw it again a couple of tyms, carrying a huge hole in the stomach. didnt have the heart to kill it again. *sigh* then there are the cockroaches. i know ALL living thyngs have been granted a right to live OFFICIALLY, through the United Nation's Human Rights Charter, but since law is never really executed here in pakistan, you can get away with murder, literally. i love stamping on these red/brown, 8-legged, winged creatures i studied in bio class... but the icky whitish blood stains they leave on a blue carpet arent very nice. the idea is, i just wish they'd go away and leave me in peace... im not a violent person by nature, but provoked, i have a tendency to do thyngs i may regret later. i feel most helpless against these bloodsuckers. you cant shoot them, you cant step on them and almost invariably, they attack, do you to blisters, and fly-off, all before you can say "bless you". i remember seeing black ones with white polka dots, and black ones with white stripes (on one kind running horizontally, and on one vertically) when i was in college. and their bites were painful. i drown myself in Mospel everynight, before going to bed. it's guaranteed to keep mosquitoes away, but personal experience has shown it's as effective against men. then i could go on and on about mango-bugs, that a) arent necessarily exclusive to mango trees, b) are extremely slow in their movements, and c) can be seen all over my house. these thyngs are incredibly small, and carry their homes on their backs. on squashing them, you find their blood is yellow, and leaves permanent stains (on blue carpets). i plan on doing a whole seperate blog on spiders, cuz trust me, they ARE really facinating creatures. but for another day. right now im hungry and want a bite. on another note (you may want to wonder why i chose to bring thys up in an entry about insects and all thyngs icky) pakistan's politics has become a joke. and it isnt even funny. i seriously really like thys guy, so naturally, i hate reading headlines that go: "benazir will only come to pakistan if musharraf promises to take off uniform" very funny. :p

Rampant rhino gets amorous with car A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car. Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop’s car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park. The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit. “He was a big boy,” Alsop told the Sun newspaper “He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he’s banging away at the car and it’s rocking like hell.” A spokeswoman for the park, which says “rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals” on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years. “He’s got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again,” she added. Daily Times April 24, '04 i was in fits when i read thys story. i love the part where it says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" (no shyt sherlock!) or maybe the "byg boy" figured... what they hey! rhino women are fat. im going for a sleeker car thys tym. anyways, i added some more pix to my yahoo account. thys one i did last friday. it's a jummah prayer at a mosque in indonesia. i swear man, pictures like these make me question my ... umm... muslimhood. *sigh* thys one was a united colors of benetton promo ad, from some fashion show last yr. i LOVED the whole casual atmosphere... it's pictures like these that make one smile. *drums roll* and last but not the least babes w/ attitude. what more can i say?

ive had a long day. and it's been almost full of bad news. here is really freaky story. i shudder to thynk what it will be like if thys nightmare comes true. and then 3,000 people die in korea train blast. read the bbc story here. such a waste of life. so much is happening in terms of life and death these days, i feel embarrassed thynking i have problems (and i dont, i just like working on molehills to turn them into mountains... gives me a sense of fulfillment) so what's my problem you ask? im bored, and restless, and getting sick of my job. and i use and too much it's like... ive been in one place for too long. the little voice in my head speaks out every two years or so, telling me im messing up my life, so i need to pack up and RUN. *shrugs* so anyways, today my ed called me in, to "have a word" w/ me. and trust me, that usually isnt a good thyng. here is an excerpt from our conversation: him: ******, im going on leave for an indefinite period, and i DONT want you getting into trouble while im gone. me: hello!?!?!?! i swear i didnt do anythyng today! (in the mean while, three gentlemen -- including my brother walk in his office) me: (turns around and shouts) will all of you please get out, we are trying to talk here? him: (rolls eyes) see, that's what im trying to say. please dont do that while im gone. promise me you wont get into any arguments, or cause trouble... me: (amazed) YOUSAF!!! laikin main nay kia kia hai??? (but what have i done [to deserve a lecture]???) him: and tell me you work and not treat thys place like a playground now he was all very sweet while he was saying it, and i know where he is coming from, but im still pissed off. let me explain my workplace to u. it's a small office, and 50% of the employees are under 25. those from 25-30 act like they are in our age group, and we let them pretend;) we're all good friends and usually hang out together. which means there is a hellova racket in the newsroom, specially when we are having NFS competitions. (for the illiterate, NFS is short for Need For Speed). i've even memorised the cheat codes.. and it's so much fun beating the guys :> plus we like shouting out insults from across the room. so the environment is hardly conducive to serious work. :p but see, it's been like that for two years now, since ive been there, before thys guy was news editor, before i was going around selling chewing gum... before the dinosaurs roamed the earth. and it aint about to change now... (not if i can help it). so when anyone even suggests such a change, it's like... are you trying to kill me? imna sing thys line to meself. it cheers me up. usually. aik tha bugs, aik tha bunny, dono marr gaye, very funny. anyways, i wish someone would brush my hair for me. and sort out my life. both are so tangled up. oh and B, hemlock as in the bowl of poison socrates was made to drink when he was convicted of treachery. hence the death of all intellectual discourse.

im listening to really loud bad music. the kind that gives me a headache. nickelback, lifehouse, firehouse(they arent THAT bad)... it distracts from ugly thoughts. (remember the desire to be a goldfish?) on a random thought, does anyone know the memory span of a hummingbird? lets sing a song shall we? Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to. Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you. Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand, Vanished from my hand, Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping. My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet, I have no one to meet And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming. Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship, My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip, My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels To be wanderin'. I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way, I promise to go under it. finish the rest here or you could listen to knockin' on heaven's door. (the U2 version) im in no condition to blog tonite, so read thys instead. i love the second stanza (i thynk that's what they are called) i leave you tonite w/ words not mine. p.s. im looking to take a bicycle tour around the world. any one up for some serious cycling? (it'll prolly never happen, but it's fun dreamin, no?)

i've been sleeping with this book by my bedside for over three weeks now. and i kid you not, but i havent had time to touch it, ever since i put it there. i had started it around a year ago, but either lost interest, or somethyng better came my way (and i lost interest), but i put it down, and didnt pick it up again till a few days ago. what i do remember from back then is that it WAS very readable (unlike most biographies ive read) and was very unlike a regular book on history. i just havnt had tym to sit down and read (or thynk for that), and the last book i read hasn't added to my love for literature. im sorry. it may be a classic, it may be up for download, but , but women in love ... SUX. im not kidding. i feel bad about employing Colloquialism to describe such profound a work of fiction. but ... it SUX man... *gets hold of desi kleenex, wipes tear from right eye*. i tried, i tried, and i tried. i couldn't sit through to the end. trust me i DID try. i picked up women in love just after finishing The Flight of the Falcon. i figured all books written a millenium ago are equally good. TFOTF was good. not as brilliant as du Maurier's other works... like Rebecca, or My Cousin Rachel, but it was good nonetheless. im bad with classics in a way. i really have to psyche myself up, take tym and convince myself it needs to be done. (im working on Anna Karenina, and War and Peace (of course the Unabridged ones)... both of which i started reading some years ago, and both of which i put down when tolstoy began explaining war in too much detail. (men can get soo carried away) so coming back to what i was saying 27 paragraphs ago... it took me almost 6 months into psyching myself to read Rebecca, but i swear, i finished the book in ONE night. it was so gripping, i couldnt bring myself to put it away... (IT was gripping, and I couldnt put it away? HEY! that doesnt sound right!!!) *sigh* so where was i? nevermind. ive lost my train of thought cuz there is too many poeple coming in and going out of my office, AND reading over my shoulder. *BUZZ OFF BUSTER! thys aint fer u* for those of you who prefer light reading, i'd recommend Until Proven Guilty. it's only 384 pages ;) i read it ages ago, and loved it, because it was infinitely better than Statistics books... (i was giving my exams then). as the legend goes, during my exams, i had been grounded completely, and my mom made sure i was 'studying'. ha ha. so i picked up UPG, and went around the house like a thief, hiding it behind tables, sofas, my back and under pillows everytym mom was around. so THAT just added to the charm. it's a murder mystery, definitely worth reading, cuz everyone dies in the end. happy reading.

I hate labelling days... as good or bad... but when thyngs don't go my way, I just can't help but feel a bit sorry for myself. (Pulse globalled: sulk, brood, whine) (Pulse global are perhaps the only legal film distributors in Pakistan – their movies are censored, and have urdu subtitles) so for the sake of being diplomatic and not coming across as difficult, yesterday was a 'weird' day. A lot of what could go wrong did go wrong... (but still it was all as wrong as it could've been -- tomorrow will always be worse remember?) So last night, I challenged thys friend at work, saying I could beat him on any track in NFS 2. Being a guy, he just wouldn't accept that. We began a 4 lap round. Three laps I'm ahead of him, he cant seem to cross my car, we are going like neck to neck, and then 4 seconds b4 I hit the finish line, he moves my hand from the acceleration key... my car swerves, hits the side, does 5 flips... and he wins. Plus I get thrown out of the newsroom for shrieking (very loudly). what luck. Remember I once spoke about having problems w/ my immediate editor, and how happy I was when he was leaving? (I'm not going back to the archives, so take my word for it). Well apparently, his 'resignation' actually never reached the relevant authorities. He threw his hands up and walked out on us mid week (and when something like that happens in a newspaper, trust me it spells trouble). So me and thys other guy, we take charge of things, put it all back together, and guess what ...? Three weeks later, he is back in his chair. Now as thys happens to be a family blog, approved for general public (over the age of 13) by the American board of censorship, I shall content myself by saying, "It's not fair." Those over 23 please pepper that with colourful expletives. Anyways, so massive arguments ensued with my EinC... and the gist of the matter is, as of yesterday, I have been appointed as Officer on Special Duty. Now with those who have a general understanding of the Pakistani system, they would know what and OSD is. For those who want it pulse globalled, it would imply that "I'm playing the field". (That's the most tactful way of saying I've been 'displaced') I'm no longer on the same desk as the jerk, which is a good thyng, but it would have been better had he been thrown off. (King Of Wishful Thinking plays in the back)... But that would happen in another life, another world. Until then I shall have to swallow the fact that his daddy owns the paper. The EinC's version is that he cant put us together as "it's a waste of resource/potential". (and it took you three months to figure that?) It's just so not fair. I'm a better manager, organizer, administrator than him, I've put together more things in the paper than he could ever imagine, I've done more layouts, more designing, and much as I hate to admit it, I'm better at that 'people-to-people' stuff. On the other hand, he has 7 years of journalism, 6 months of WSJ and and four years of Columbia and Amherst behind him. And he doesn't blog. I lose.

so i havnt blogged in a few days. suppryzzzze... lets see. when i started, i had vowed to update everyday, even if it were just one line or one link, or the one lesson i had learnt that day... that way when i died, allo'ya would be witnesses to my learnedity (yes there is no such word) anyways, one lesson ive learnt over the last ten days is that sleep and sanity are not my priorities. anyways mom hit fifty today. and man ive been so depressed. a) i had almost forgotten, till dear bro reminded me last night (twice), and in tym too. and he said "you lose woman. being spaced out at all tyms, or almost killing yourself by working... what good is it, when yer gonna forget the little thyngs that matter most?" ouch. b) did i block it out consciously? she has hit gold man.. and is only gonna grow older... and older, and older.... c) i need to get her a bday gift. but umm... she's mom... what does one get moms? any ideas abez, owlses? anyways, my new job is fun. i got msn, internet, access to all the books i'd ever wanna read, and my boss is getting me NEW CURTAINS. woo hoo :p but i havnt been able to slack off... i only go there for four hours a day, and feel he is overpaying me as it is... cant have fun during tym that is principally his. no worries, i'll learn better in some weeks;) what i love about my new office is the house it's in. it's like thys massive pre-partition building, with HUGE rooms, and bathrooms that are cooled w/ airconditioners... im mean, okay, so it's not thys, but it's a start... you know what i mean? one of my friends is going back to england. he's a really nice guy. that's gonna be a loss. click here *warning: not scanned for virus* would you like to hack it? i mean would you put aside your morals and principles and go around hacking like a mercenary? if yer up to it, there are over 350,000 various ones to chose from. happy hunting. arshad: i havnt had tym to thynk straight, or thynk at all in fact. i shall do an entry on lahore asap. random thought: if you look hard enough, like real up close, like really really look for it, you'll find SOME good in everyone. either that, or a restraint order.

no can blog yet. must sleep. a few thyngs that must be said. uploaded pictures of Asif Jah Haveli, like i promised i would. not too fancy, but worth a look. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ umm... ppl need to start listening to good music. thys stuff is pretty old, like around one yr, but just in case you are still unaware... its urdu alternative rock, in case you wanna know abt the genre. Aadat -- by Jal. the very tragic story w/ these guys is, they made a superhit track, and then the two member band broke up. now they are involved in all sorts of litegation. sad. just stay w/ the song ok? get Nishaan by Call. thou shalt have to access their site, where you can listen to it. i believe you can rip it off from Kazaa. incidently, it was awarded the best rock track for 2003. whatever! :p but it's good stuff. then there is always Tabla Beat Science, Talvin Singh, and Pathanay khan. but cant be bothered to link them abhi...*sowee (:* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ umm... real life heroes. ok. here's one. this is a picture of Rwandan genocide survivor Athanasie Mukarwego, 45, who was held as a sex slave, and gang-raped by hundreds of militiamen over the course of 100 days of ethnic slaughter, during the country's 1994 mass killings. once rescued, she was diagnozed HIV-negative, and now works with genocide widows and rape victims as the co-ordinator of the Village of Hope, a women's centre in Rwanda's capital Kigali. i wanted to put thys story up, simply, to remind me tym and again, to be thankful for all i have, be greatful for the environment i live in, and in times when i dispair, to thynk of her, and acquire strength from her. how a woman was able to survive all that, and then stay connected with that very same past... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ and dont ask abt the exam. lets just say it wasnt all what i expected ok? ;)

why isnt grand prix considered racism and the drivers, racists? toh say naina milaikay man! i have just SO MUCH to blog about, and dont know where to start...lots has happened in the last few days...and shall continue to do so well into the next week. i thynk my 48 hr days are becoming a routine. thank god for coffee. black and sweet. umm... ok. b4 i fall asleep here, cinderella (that would be me) spent the most amazing evening at the Asif Jah Haveli, situated somewhere in the old Lahore. the monument built sometym in the late 17th century is perhaps the most amazing building ive ever seen, complete with arches, red bricks and frescos of krishna. mother was very angry when cinderella returned well after midnight. ive fallen in love with qawwali. son of the late qawwal munshi riazuddin performed that night. went out, got their cd, and it's been bye-bye nickelback since then. saw the second test btw india/pak at the stadium. blah. it was fun. we won. as was predicted. but being at the stadium was FUN. Fun Travia: satellite lag time is 7 seconds. so you could see the ball being bowled on the pitch, and then watch the very same thyng on tv... :> (fun x 2) got me a second job, as an editor @ vanguard books, one of the biggest publishing houses in pakistan. (their website is under construction, and yes im showing off) ive decided i want to get an MBA from LUMS, if only for the heck of it. (it's a year long course, and i cant thynk of a better way to pass time, until the next year.) ive been attending a workshop on comparative urban landscapes, and it's been an absolute BLAST. we've got speakers from jerusalem, ankara, columbo, calcutta, bangalore, karachi, cairo, texas (of course lahore too) .... whove been studying urban evolution and design development. (the socio-political influences, etc) tomorrow is the last day... and i havent yet read the papers i should have two days ago... i took three days off from work to study, since i have GRE on sunday. :> alhamdolillah i havnt touched a book yet. (have you prayed for me today?) i got my transcripts from college. passed all four yrs in first division, and the graduation honours were for getting somethyng above 75%. man, im good (not to mention narcissistic). what else? oh yeah! bro has been giving me hell. he wants me to get serious about what i wanna do, pick line i want to continue with, and then stick with it. in case you are wondering, i graduated from an art school with a degree in ceramics (you can see my work here), have been associated w/ journalism for two years (the unsung hero), and now want to move to either International Relations, or my newest facination, the Masters in Business Administration (i thynk ill major in accounting and finance. as a kid, i was pretty good with numbers, i could count upto ten). previously, ive studied math, french, psychology, biology and literature. now im bored. P.s found tips to living better. enjoy. -- If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. pour a jug of scalding water down it's throat. The blockage shall be removed instantly. -- Recreate the fun of a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water and two bottles of bleach. urinate into it before jumping in. -- Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view. -- Save time when crossing a one-way street by looking only in the direction of oncoming traffic. -- the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids may be disguised by running slower. -- Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you may easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone. -- Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing the windscreen of yoru car, sticking half a melon skin on you head, jumping red lights and driving wrong way up one way streets. -- A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert. -- A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. good night.

i almost killed myself today to get to a seminar organized by WHO and the UNSI. (nothing serious, just lack of sleep) i wanted to hear what they had to say. according to the WHO report, 1.2m ppl die of road traffic injuries every year, and by 2020, it will be the 3 biggest cause of deaths worldwide. (1st being a bad sense of humour) 1.2m is nothing but a number. but try and imagine how many families are affected, how many homes are destroyed, and how many lives are messed up. while i cannot sit here and argue death, or God's intervention, im not going to subscribe to reckless driving either. 98% of all road traffic accidents occur due to human error. $520billilon is lost annually in terms of property, life and potential -- worldwide -- and the figures for pakistan are $65b. that's more than what we get in foreign aid. im sure everyone out there has a story to tell about a friend, a family member, or someone they "knew of", who was either killed, or injured in a road accident. i know i do. if you dont, you are of the very very lucky few. lets hope it stays that way. please, please, please take time out to read this report, it'll do you good. and drive safe.

its 8 am. im still awake. 0_0 *blink blink*

we all knowses by now how we hates our 48 hour days... right me preciousss? well im going through another shift of those, and i'd say u must endure your share of torture, if only through my blog. (it's only fair... i get to share your good and you my bad) so anyways, didnt get any sleep last night, or the night b4, and today will be a long day. lets see. the other night i slept at 7am, woke up after 3 hrs, have been on the go since. played chauffer for mom, took her to work n back, took her shopping, picked my sister up from school, rushed to work 2 hrs late (what's new you say? i hear ye) umm pretended to work for 7 hrs, but b4 i was leaving, got a call from mom... a very old friend from england had popped up and needed a ride to our place... that was a pleasant surprise, brought him home... by then my bro decided he wanted my best assembled dessert... so two in the morning i was out shopping again... man i hate 24-hr shopping malls, (specially those right next door) came home knackered, but when was THAT an excuse? received another surprise (but youll gotta wait till da end of the blog for that)... called up thys friend to confirm if it was true, he said it was, and in a very successful attempt at collecting sympathies, added that he was in trouble cuz he had quit his job in thys school, and was in a fix. so, since i was almost on hash and not thynking straight, i agreed to help him out, and invited him over ... at 2.30 am. guess how much fun that was. checking O level physics exams. considering i didnt DO physics in O levels. took a good 4 hrs, doing 73 papers. its 6 in the morning again, the poor english soul is dead asleep, (so is everyone else actually), but me sis needs to be woken up in 15 minutes. i guess ill drop her to school and sleep finally when i get back. or while im driving back. that's always a good option. at 9am, i have to take the british bloke to meet my ed, abt publishing his books in pakistan. he is a brilliant scholar, if i do say so myself, 5 books to his credit already, and also, a student of sheikh hamza bin yousaf. ill put up links to his articles as soon as i find tym... 10 i have to drop him back at his uncle's 10.30 i gotta take mom to work, 11, i have to cover a UN seminar on road safety (excuse me? ROAD SAFETY? why me?) and then do a story on it. erm... come back home and prepare for a dinner for 10. *grins, drops dead* im hoping i'll drop in lots of salt by accident. the guests are heart patients. and then write thys letter, for another friend. (dont u thynk i have more friends than i can handle?) as for the surprise youve all been waiting for. it's final. im appearing for the GRE on april 11. excuse me? and u tell me a WHOLE week before? how about waiting till D DAY? and what do i know abt GRE anyways? i flunked SATs miserably :s *cringe* my score is too embarrassing to put up... what am i even doing here? *looks around..."anyone home?"* thys is prolly the only GRE ill ever get to give... im so sure ill mess it up. ok ppl, thys is where you come in. pull out your prayer books and say a little prayer for me "Dear God, let hemmy kick some GRE a$$. amen" *thanks ye all* here's a pic of twirling dervaishes. mystics my style ;) in other news, lt gen Shah Rafi Alam passed away yesterday. he was a sitara-e-jurrat, which is better than a nishan e haider, cuz u get it for winning the battle and coming out alive. *drops dead on keyboard*

it's fairly interesting, stuff you can pick up when you least expect to. thyngs you learn about life, and about yourself. most recently, i'd say ive discovered im a rather bad judge of character, im quick at forming opinions, am unreasonable, and that my knowledge isnt as infinite as i like to believe it is. ive been picking up important lessons from most unlikely corners. like today. thys gentleman at work whom ive regarded as extremely kooky, comes up to me (out of the blue), and says: "that man, in that office," points to the office of one of the senior editors, "i will teach him one day..." now he is half spanish, half russian, and half german. three halves put together dont add up, so try imagining how he speaks anyways so he says, "that man in there has no right to be rude to anyone, we are all God's creatures, so what if he is busy, or an important man... no matter how important you become, you should never forget others are human also ..." the rest i couldnt register, because for some tym there i sat stunned, like id been hit by a stun-gun (insert joke here). i tend to view most people as a waste of time, oxygen, and space. "people are futile shreds of life that will turn into ash" such has been my dogma for a long tym now. while i realise thys approach may be slightly snobbish, i believe i can justify it through pure logic and reason (be not in haste to judge me). maybe some other time. i prefer to keep to myself, take ages to make friends, and dont care much for social interaction. i'll only grow to like you if you can convince me your reason for existance is good nuff, you know where you are going, and remember where you come from. for most part, i thynk thys world would be a much much better place if 9.5 out of 10 people werent. do you remember your mother hitting you across the face for saying or doing somethyng bad? i dont, but im sure the feeling must be very similar to what i felt, when thys guys said... "we are all god's creations" it was actually like someone was shaking me sayin "so you semi-neurotic missy, what's with the inverted snobbery and the uptight attitude? had a difficult childhood eh?" living with the belief that im better than perfect, it's difficult for me to accept my faults. specially when someone calls foul my convictions.. come on man, im not what i eat, im what i believe...you know what i mean? ive been wrong on two occassions, about two people who proved to be very nice, and not all monsters i'd painted them to be. T turned out to be the coolest chick i've met in ages -- although we still disagree on whether aragon is the star of tlotr or legolas... (of course it's aragon, she shall see sense soon) i need to bite some humble pie soon, before i catch the foot-in-mouth disease :s

im so high, i can hear heaven well kinda sorta. ive just been plain lazy about blogging in the last coupla days, cuz frankly, too much has been going on. and my routine is all messed up. which means my mom has gotten into thys habbit of waking me up early morning... aka 11am, and then i go through the day like a zombie. *YAWN* scuze me ();> i was going to blog about the one sin ive shamelessly been indulging in, but that would only make me hungry and turn to food i can do without... im not really high. i guess burnt at both ends. not high. it was my sister's birthday yesterday, and man ... its at tyms like these i wonder why ppl make such issues of celebrating them birthday thyngs anyways... specially me folks. my own birthday lasts three days. we dont really do anythyng grand, just burn lots of good honest money... like we did yesterday. i prefer to sulk. each passing year reminds me im growing older, and THAT means accepting responsibility.... NADA....nothing doing... GET AWAY FROM ME!!! I REFUSE TO GROW UP my mom should thank me for all the growing up ive done already. ive stopped climbing trees, i dont get dizzy spinning around in circles anymore (actually i still do but dont tell her i told u), my icecreams have been cut down to only a few scoops a week, and umm i brush my teeth twice a day :D anyways, each birthday should only remind you of how close yer becoming to being completely dependent on your kids, that the old age home is only a few more years away, and that soon your medical bills will amount to more than pakistan's fiscal budget . (that's somethyng to look forward to innit?) anyways, i love balloons, so i got my sister lots of those, and then i got her a really amazing chocolate/vanilla bomb cake (guess who ate that) and then some awesome jewellery, which coincidently goes with most of my clothes also *well! whaddya know?* an interesting phenomenon: the other day i took some balloons to work, i was giving a farewell to a friend. so all these guys start messing about, having some serious balloon fights and i tell them to quit. one says: "you cant give us balloons and then expect us to not play with them!" ehm. i c. such is the condition of ppl i work with. are we having fun yet?!?!?

a thousand words? Israeli border policemen argue with Palestinians as they begin to destroy a house in the West Bank village of Kharbata near Ramallah on Thursday. According to Israeli authorities the house was built without permission and Palestinians said it belonged to a wanted Hamas militant. —Reuters we ran thys picture as our front page lead. and the paper wasnt burnt down, nor my editor stoned. either people are becoming more tolerant of our newspaper, or they recognize the gravity of the issue. [A]re not you he That frights the maidens of the villagery; Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern And bootless make the breathless housewife churn; And sometime make the drink to bear no barm; Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm? Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck, You do their work, and they shall have good luck: Are not you he? --Shakespeare, A Midsummernight's Dream