thys blog is brought to you courtesy newly installed windows XP... a modem that took two days and one frustrated hemlock to install... a job that im sure im about to lose... a synopsis that is yet to be written (or in fact, yet a topic that is yet to be finalised)..., and a haphazardly planned trip to islamabad that has been delayed already. it took me four days, a calendar and two editors to figure out june 3rd was on thursday. and not wednesday like i was expecting it to be. you know, i feel like i did when i was 17. one fine day, i decided to stand on a football. like a soccerball, not the squashed/retarded american football. i figured... hey, they do it at the circus, how hard can it be. so... i first put one foot on the football... yeah! good'nuff... holds weight. and then i lifted the other foot. the ball rolled away from under me, and i fell flat on my face. no really i did. ok. so i fell flat on my nose, which technically is an intrinsic part of my face. and then my forehead hit the ground also. cutting the technicalities of the experience... Q. why does it feel like im doing waaaaay outta my league? A. so i can proudly say "been there, done that." and came back with a bruised face. or a bruised ego. which ever catches your fancy

Q: Proposed field of study? (for PhD programme) A:International relations - Socio-cultural and economic development in south east asia, in direct relation to the western economic powers. *angelic smile* does it get any more vague?

is rarest even a word? ladies and gentlemen, im losing my sight. and i dont mean sight of my goals, although being short-sighted does that to you, but really, lets see... 8+4+3 = 15 hours in front of a computer screen cant be too good for you. i need to start an international hunt for my specs... the stuff i shouldve kept more carefully. here's my glasses wearing history. my bro had a sight prob since he was a kid, so he had specs from before indo-pak partition... he was a child prodigy (of sorts) still cant bring myself to say it, and as a 3-yr-old i always believed it was because of his glasses. and since everyone took him more seriously than i, again i thought wearing glasses added to that 'more adult - more mature' look. and i wished and i wished for my eyes to get screwed. all my dreams came true in 1992. we were living in a foreign country, and i would sit in front of a 24" tv for a minimum of 8 hours a day. (just to spite my brother. so he wouldnt get to watch the premiership matches etc... ironic - ive become a fan myself) one fine day, i tell my dad i cant see all to well... he takes me to the optician, and viola... when we come out... i have two natural lenses, and two plastic ones. now all that isnt too bad, but i cringe totally when i see my pics from back then. apparently, pink plastic frames that covered half your face were the rage then... the 'in' thyng, the 'new look', the 'black'. it goes without saying i looked a dweeb. in the subsequent years, i lost the frames and regained the sight. then glasses were an option. should i? shan't i? should i? shan't i? the should not won. the spek-elled look has never been a problem w/ me. im just gonna hafta get used to the fact im growing old, and my senses are losing me. *sigh* ------------------------------------------------- on another front, my pc is busted. the windows corrupted themselves. while i got rid of the spyware, thanks to the special powers of halfpastnomad and spybot, there lurked in the deepest corners of my computer a virus that went undetected/overlooked by the anti-virus software i was using. that's all ok, endurable, but fate... it has a way of getting back at you. remember when i said windows XP is SO gay? well that's what the computer guy is installing. he says windows xp professional is currently the best in the market. *sigh* fate or no fate. irony or no irony. i still thynk it's gay.

i really genuinely love thys guy. i mean come on! who needs stand-up comedians when you can have stand-up presidents? Bush trips over Abu Ghraib pronunciation Two rehearsals for his prime-time speech were not enough to keep US President George W Bush from mangling the name of the Abu Ghraib prison that brought shame to the US mission in Iraq. The prison has a name that English speakers usually pronounce as abu-grabe. But the Republican president, long known for verbal and grammatical lapses, stumbled on the first try, calling it abugah-rayp. The second version came out abu-garon, the third attempt sounded like abu-garah. reuters more suggestions are welcome. abubu? abugubu? alugobi?... never mind *Russian MPs get BMWs. first the italians get lamborghinies, and now thys? im in the wrong part of the world man. in the wrong profession. (what profession? you ask... ill let you know as soon as ive figured out myself) *Hitler heir doesn’t want royalties it'd be so cool if you were actually related to hitler. man! nothyn exciting ever happens to me. you know, they say hitler was muslim!!! *and here's a woman after my own heart. you go gurl! *here's a purty pikchur. it's got yellow. and it's got horses. ---------------------------------------------------- the reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. - GBShaw ---------------------------------------------------- The whole place is pickled The people are pickles for sure And no-one knows if they've done more here Than they ever would do in a jar.

an optomist believes we live in the best of the worlds. a pessimist fears it is true. so i was going to answer Bfiler's unfair accusations :) but i dont know where to begin. i know how to be happy. i know how to giggle... and i still do it. i can enjoy my ice-cream. and my mom's. and my brother's. (they are old ppl. they dont need ice-cream) i laugh at elephant jokes. i crack up at sardarji jokes. and jokes that go: Q: what do we have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in cement? A: not enough cement. life is beautiful. no one would advocate that more fiercely than i would. but then there are times. youve been out with your family, having a blast, blowing off half your monthly salary... until on your way back... you see afghan refugee children sleeping in deserted shopping markets. or 3-4 yr old beggars on the road... who've had both their arms and hands broken-off (little portions jutting out like stumps). and then there are these REALLY REALLY old, frail men pulling 200 times their weight... so they can earn enough that would keep them alive for another day. or maybe get their daughters married off. and then there are children who should be in schools, who are slaving away in houses to feed/house their families, when they should be in schools. lets see... what else? or like when youve had a snazzy meal at a flashy restaurant, and yer on yer way back... your mom tells you a story of someone she knows, who's finding it difficult to pay for their hepatitus C treatment... or when you see your cook, your driver, your housekeeper (PC: domestic help), police guards, two cars, a 4-bedroom house in the city's poshest locality, you wonder what you've done to deserve it... or how yer gonna explain it to God. lets see... what else bothers me? a few months ago, i promised myself id help out at teh fountain house, or the facility for the mentally challenged(!?!?!) children... and the fact that ive been so busy minting money, i havent had tym. or how about the romanian sex slaves? i watched a file on CNN... here's a global report on the issue. it says: There are nearly 15,000-20,000 child prostitutes present in Lahore in the areas near bhatti and railway station. dude, i LIVE in lahore. and thys is the first tym ive read abt it. more like i live in a fairytale. sleep over these thoughts doesnt make it any better. they stare right back at ya next morning. its been 12 hrs since i saw thys one accident. and the faces of those two girls are still haunting me. what if that man (their father) has died. supposing he was the only breadwinner of the family. what are they gonna do? and the fact that the tamashbeen were fighting over who would get to keep his cell fone. what sort of animals are we becoming anyway? we tend to take a lot of thyngs granted. you and i. we can see, smell, speak... we have fresh clean water running in our taps. we can have 23 cups of chai a day, and still not run short. we dont have to go thru garbage cans to hunt for food. believe me ive seen it happen. outside the idiot box. we have friends and family who care for us. you and i are safe in our homes. you and i HAVE homes. maybe im blowing thyngs out of proportion. maybe not. but everytym i laugh, i cant help thynk of those who are crying. and i know ill have to answer to god for my happiness, when the world he created was falling apart. -------------------------------------------- "come lets to bed," sez sleepy 'ed, "tarry a while," sez slow. "put on the pan," sez greedy nan "lets sup before we go." -------------------------------------------- here's some interesting stories i picked up on the telegraph New York's last Mafia don on trial for murder Taking a dive after uni The transition from university to work can be a shock... temme abt it! Growing up with Harry Potter(pweeez! we loves harry potter master!)

first it was the pretzels, now the bicycle. are the zionists/semites plotting to kill bush? Bush bruised after bicycle bang. ouch. some Irreverent punks found the pretzel episode funny! we'll have to wait till the bush on tricycle jokes come out. one thyng's true though. you just cant have enough of bushisms. in other news, nerd action figure dolls are on sale. a bit of an oxy-moron dont you thynk? nerd.. action figure...? never mind cows dont like hot-air ballooning. thys picture proves it. and thys story sounds so desi! paris airport roof collapses. i can so imagine the state sponsored khabarnama reporting "semint main milavat honay kay bais naye airport ki chat gir gaye. sadr-e-mumlikat islami jumhuria-pakistan jenab izzatmaab hazrat Pervez musharraf nay kaha hai is mamlay ki tafteesh ki jaye." *sigh* it's always sad to die at an airport. yer neither here nor there. a bit like me actually. Call you up in the middle of the night Like a firefly without a light You were there like a blowtorch burning I was a key that could use a little turning So tired that I couldn't even sleep So many secrets I couldn't keep I promised myself I wouldn't weep One more promise I couldn't keep It seems no one can help me now, I'm in too deep; there's no way out This time I have really led myself astray Runaway train, never going back Wrong way on a one-way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile How on earth did I get so jaded? Life's mystery seems so faded I can go where no one else can go I know what no one else knows Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain With a ticket for a runaway train And everything seems cut and dried, Day and night, earth and sky, Somehow I just don't believe it Bought a ticket for a runaway train Like a madman laughing at the rain A little out of touch, a little insane It's just easier than dealing with the pain it's a good songRunaway Train by Soul Asylum old. but good

i hate machines. more specifically computers. and i hate the fact that my life revolves around them. the windows i run at home seem to have installed some sort of an ad software all by itself (my 13-yr old sis and 25-yr old bro deny responsibility), and i cant seem to erase the damn thyng. i tried removing the programme, but the uninstaller gives some sort of errors, have deleted various folders from the C drive's prog files, and even ventured in to the system 32 folder... which i know is strictly forbidden. (i did erase a number of weird sounding folders from there too) 'deleting thyngs is fun,' said the funny voice in my head. in my uninstalling frenzy, i also erased a prog which went somethyng like SUS.somethyng.somethyng.exe which was all well and good until it said: do you wish to reboot now? UH OH! umm... err... No. let's never reboot the pc? i tried prolonging the inevitable, but around 3amish, the lights went out, and so did the computer. when it came back on, the colours were gone. i see. some rather intrinsic visual programmes had been erased from the system. now who would do such a stupid thyng? all morons, please rise! taht wasnt too bad. went into all the pc junk i keep, found the modem/programme installer CDs that came with it four years ago, and reinstalled everythyng. including the acrobat reader 4.0, replacing acrobat 6.somethyng. now ive gone back in software tym. all that done, ive messed up the explorer as well... the windows keep on shutting themselves outta the blue, and yesterday i thynk i sent 397 error reports to microsoft. im expecting a call from them soon. they should be sending me windows 2000 for dummies any day now. *i lurrv presents* if that wasnt enough, today at work, i managed to erase a week's work... 12,000 edited words and the week's collection of pictures, all in one go. "Are you sure you want to delete folder" "yes" *hits enter* "OH SHITE! Oh NO!... NOT THYS FOLDER!" oh bugger. ctrl z? (the life saver).. na unh. nothing happening. dont ask me how i feel. i had to redo the week's work (which i HAD done previously, remember?) in ONE hour. all in all, im pissed. im not sure what at, but i am. ------------------------------------------------------------------- in an earlier conversation with owl, we came to a conclusion. johnny bravo is pakistani, and his real name is jehanzeb bahadur. here is an excerpt from our convo: me: johnny bravo commented on my page me: i feel ishpeshal owl: I saw! I was very jealous! me: *blushes* owl: I want him to comment on MY page! *pouts* owl: Johnny Bravo must be Pakistani. owl: He is the quintessential chichora. me: dont say that owl, yer ruining my image of him owl: Imagine if a real dude went around acting like that. Wouldn't he be Pakistani? owl: He'd have to be. No question about it. me: how dya explain the yellow hair? owl: It's mehndi gone wrong. owl: And Johnny is short for Jahnzeb. me: and that proteined upper torso owl: They make beefy dudes here, they're just a bit hard to find. me: actually me: i know where to find them!!! me: the 'iron-man gym', or YFC... Yahya fitness centre. owl: Yeah, but i hear they're all gay. me: AHA! johnny isnt gay! owl: Or is he... to be continued... ------------------------------------------------------------------- according to BBC, every minute, two ppl are killed in conflicts around the world. and here is an interesting story on the CSMonitor: Beheading underscores culture of revenge in violent Iraq

i was supposed to blog about my run-in with prince charming. how i almost ensnared him with my womanly wiles, charmed him out of his life. and then the darned toad escaped by climbing 18 inches of solid plastic wall (i had it trapped in a wastepaper basket). (toads can climb???) i thynk there lies a subtle hint in the story. when a frog runs away, from the fear of being kissed ... ill leave you instead, with a quotable line from the literati game btw me, owl and B-filer: owl: you should start dealing in vowels hemlock. you got mafia-type smuggler written all over ye. good advice. i stink at scrabble anyways.

I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door - Dido hmm. what a strange world i live in. someday, when i have enough picture space, maybe ill put up all the pictures i see in a day... featuring aggression, and tools of aggression. for now, see thys: A bird stands in a house next to the zoo destroyed by Israeli troops in the Rafah refugee camp in southern Gaza Strip May 21, 2004. Residents said troops knocked down a small zoo, a rare place of amusement for refugee children. The army, which has demolished dozens of Rafah homes during the raid, denied flattening the zoo. -- Reuters and then there is thys; Filipino protesters pile on top of each other to dramatize the condition of Iraqi prisoners during a protest outside the US embassy in Manila. -- Reuters and yet, in the very same world, we have thys. see how they go about minding their own business? it's a strange world. full of paradoxes. and fools like me. fer now, imna leave with a johnny bravo quote: it's tym for me to comb my hair

first they bomb a wedding party in afghanistan, and now one in Iraq. could it be that the US of A has a thyng against heterosexual marriages? i mean, how many weddings have they bombed in Holland? on an off note, holland is also known as the netherlands, and their peoplefolk are dutch. pakistan is also known as pakistan, and their peoplefolk are pakistani. which seems rather bland in comparison.

i never understood the importance of holidays, or yearly vacations as they are known, until of late. i've just about had it, and am aiming straight for a nervous breakdown. atleast bertrand russell agree w/ me: One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. *sigh* it's not really the work, or believing myself to be indispensable thats getting to me (and believe me, im VERY dispensable) i guess thys job is becoming a bit of a rut now. im not learning anythyng new, there's absolutely no growth, and i seem to be glued to the spot i was a year ago. that aint no fun honey. and most importantly, people here lack a sense of humour. Tony Randell (of the odd couple fame) died today. i loved the neil simon comedy, so as a tribute, i put up his picture on the masthead (thats the top most part of the newspaper) with a caption that read FU Forever. now anyone who's read the play, would know it was one of the most hilarious lines, when oscar goes to felix " stop leaving little notes around the house, saying 'we're out of bread, FU'. it took me half an hour to figure FU meant Felix Ungar" the punks made me change it. "half the country wouldnt take it as a joke" oh! and that's my fault too? what about the other half? who WOULD know what i meant, and would really enjoy it? and i dont even see the byg deal. no one reads thys paper anyways! its too highbrow to interest the layman. i dont mean to complain yeah, but im begining to get mighty irritated. you know what would be nice? an all expenses paid trip to mauritius. and it would be rather nice if i was paid to blog (like they do wonkette). you know how troubles come in three, or when thyngs get REALLY unfair? the osbournes get a bentley continental gt 2004, the very car ive been crying myself hoarse for. "the Osbournes pose with their newest acquisition, a Bentley Continental GT, at their home in Beverly Hills, California. Celebrities have been lining up for the 552-hp, 12-cylinder Twin Turbo Continental GT, and the first few shipments are being delivered to well-known VIPs." AFP whaa! hey! im no less important you know. just because im a diamond in the rough, waiting to be discovered (as was aladdin), that dont mean im umm.. less important (basically). just you wait i tell you, just you wait.

thys guy has nerve. and tymings too! but im impressed. no really! the amount of free tym some ppl have, it's just amazing. slate has some brilliant political cartoons, but some of them really hit the spot. like thys one *sigh*

Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck!. Genie (the rest of the aladdin script can be read here) Wrong. all it takes is 12 hours of interrupted sleep. and a fall from grace. i dont sleep too often. i dont like sleeping. i dont KNOW how to sleep. i have a stiff neck and aching shoulders, because someone put a pillow on the exact spot were i put my head. i sleep without pillows, and teh other night as i fell on the bed, i found someone had placed one at the north end. there were some papers, a tv remote, and my sister's cell lying next to my feet (the south side of the bed) so i had a pretty rotten night, with me bending my neck at awkward angles to avoid touching the pillow, and my legs and feet twisted so as to not kick-off the miscellenia. and then i kept on waking at hour-long intervals to ensure nothing had fallen-off. all in all, i didnt get decent sleep and woke up miserable. so much for a holiday. and then yesterday, as i flew onto my bed, i landed on thys weird contraption (a round pillow), which in one smooth movement rolled away with me, and deposited me on the floor on across the bed ... in one undignified thump. *ouch* (Flight of the falcon i say!) im never gonna sleep again. hmph btw, according to thys test, based on dante's inferno, im gonna be in the third level of hell. "In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws." *shudders* on another note... i want my genie. Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your wishes, so siddown! whatever. FWUK it.

Each day a fresh holocaust, yet as far as I can see, our moral being is untouched. We can do anything, it seems, and come away clean. JM Coetzee while my thesis was untitled, it was loosely based on thys line of Coetzee's. i feel like blogging about each individual piece...and seeing what u folks thynk about the idea, and the tangible representation of it. but not today. for now, read the line again Each day a fresh holocaust, yet as far as I can see, our moral being is untouched. We can do anything, it seems, and come away clean.

yeah im freeeeeeeeee... freee fallin' Gonna free fall out into nothin' Gonna leave this world for a while... and you ask why i have a sweet tooth? with treats like Buddha's snot, who can resist?

i suffer from MPD. multiple profession disorder. in two unrelated incidents, i had my crop chopped off, and decided i want to be a marine biologist. the haircut came after almost 7 years (ive been having them trimmed and all, but going almost 18-inches short was like... WOAH! even for me). dont ask me what brought it on, im still wondering myself. as for being the marine biologist, i just thynk the world under water is beautiful, and must be explored by daring individuals like myself who are willing to risk their lives for the better good of humanity. *steps down from padestal amidst ear-shattering applause* chatting with B the other day, i told her i'd be happy living in complete obscurity (yeah right!) in the middle of the himalayas, with a flock of sheep. gimme a flock thys adorable, consider my bags packed and me halfway across punjab. ive actually had pix taken as i was cradling baby lambs (just b4 having them for dinner). but all in all, they are really cute. :> having seen the pianist, i really totally fell in love with thys guy... but here, he looks like the sort of guys i wouldnt normally associate with (i bet that's a real blow to his ego!) my hero! im naming my dog after him :D ever feel miniscule? like a spec of sand... i wonder how they feel. and thys is what the great wall of china looks like from a really high ladder. and they say only lil kids spin around. picture purrrfekt!!! i loved thys story. ok... way too many links. but just one more thyng. i'd been wondering abt the fate of the guantanamo bay prisoners for a long time. found a bunch of links on todays telegraph... following thys story: Britons tell Bush of Guantanamo abuse( Two of the Britons released from detention at Guantanamo Bay have written an open letter to President George W Bush claiming they were tortured by American guards. Shafiq Rasul and Asif Iqbal, from Tipton in the West Midlands, detailed a string of abuses which they claim were inflicted upon them by American interrogators at the camp for suspected terrorists in Cuba. Their detailed allegations bear strong similarities to the allegations being levelled at American soldiers in Iraq. The men's lawyer, Barbara Olshansky, of the American Centre for Constitutional Rights, told BBC Radio 4's Today programme that the men wanted to show that it was the "policy of the American military" to abuse detainees. "They were shackled for hours on end, and made to stand in stressed positions when being questioned by the military interrogators," she said. "They were subjected to threatening dogs, freezing cold temperatures, being made to stand naked, the same type of humiliation and stress techniques that were used in Iraq. "I think that they are quite clear that this was the policy in place at Guantanamo Bay." She said the men were subjected to the intimidation and abuse as soon as they arrived at the naval camp. "It appeared to them that this was the routine and the method of extracting information from people there," she said. Daily Telegraph links relating to the story were on abuse and the amnesty international report. and that will be all from teh newsroom. thank you for joining us Goodnight

imagine having to go to work in an office car. couldnt suck more could it? i wanna play cops and wobbes too.

*sigh* dear all, i had a miserable yesterday. i was made to realise i aint the jill of all trades i had always believed meself to be. and that was like "ouch" dear lord, forgive me for i have sinned i confess. i cant html. let it be known to one and all, i cant html to save my life. or anyone elses. i open templates, and i see too many alphabets written all wrong, bad punctuation, superfluous symbols, and bad sentence structure. bad conjunctions, no juxtaposition and words no dictionary in the world would recognize. words like html. it's wrong english. it's bad english. it should be wiped off the slate and we should be given clean pages and a box of crayons to render stuff in as we like. html should be shot dead. yesterday, by the time i was done with putting in new links, and playin on the final template on Microsoft frontpage, i had inadvertently pressed more keys than i should have. and i was up all night, chewing on my nails, pacing up and down in my sister's room, waiting for a miracle to happen. and it did. i'd like to take thys opportunity to thank my lifesavers abez (should i mark the second born for you too?), b-filer (woman i promise never to call u names again), and owl (because she emails me :>) around a dozen and twelve emails were exchanged using yahoo, hotmail, and gmail. oh yeah! and my work email also. first i kept emailing B at the wrong addy (on hotmail instead of yahoo), then she couldnt get her gmail open (whaddya know). i gave up, left it to the pros, and B and abez were fixing the template while i was crying in my sleep *sniff*. i'd also like to thank those of you who offered help :D apka number aye ga, zaroor aye ga. woh din durr nahi when i'll be in trouble again, and instead of posts, you all shall be reading html :> must be going for now. best, hemmie queen of melodrama p.s those of you who commented yesterday, you did that on the default blogger comments page, the html of which is missing from thys template. dont ask me how or why, and since i dont know how to put it in, lets all start at the very begining. hi, im hemlock, half woman half nut.

see why i didnt like the new bogger? you mess with the template, it messes with your posts blog currently down. abez and her mighty Bness have been SOSed. in the meanwhile, keep your fingers crossed, and read thys Multimillionaire daredevils arrested in high jinks car race Five multimillionnaires were arrested at the weekend for driving at speeds of more than 200 kilometers (124 miles) an hour in an unauthorized, high jinks road race in the Catalonia region of Spain, local police said Monday. The annual, yet illegal car race known as the "Gum Ball 3000," is famous for attracting participants with an appetite for powerful cars and life in the fast lane. Among this year's participants are American actor Adrien Brody, British model Jodie Kidd and singer Jamiroquai, and a nephew of Saudi Arabia's king. The five drivers detained by Spanish police were described as men from Britain, Canada and Belgium aged between 30 and 50. One of the drivers covered the 210-kilometer (130-mile) distance between the towns of Sagunto and Cambrils in 50 minutes, at an average speed of 252 kilometers (157 miles) an hour on a public highway. Among the pack of automobiles taking part in the race are such makes as Lamborghini, Ferrari, Bentley, Mercedes, Ford Mustang, Porsche, Chevrolet Camaro, Maserati and BMW. During last year's Gum Ball 3000, held in the United States, participants incurred more than 21,000 euros (25,000 dollars) in fines. AFP *sniff* and im sitting here tryin to fix a stupid template. a bentley? which bentley? continental gt? im depressed. someone should get me a bentley

everybody is going crazy. and thys new blogger template is so ... ugh! reminds me of windows XP. that stuff is so gay. UGH! and to prove im not being nasty for no reason, chk thys out: Indian aims to marry 100 tyms. "...I had 400 acres of land which I wanted to distribute to poor women by marrying them." ahan. yeah, sure. im convinced. Danes wipe Nordic toilet paper shortage i wonder where that's going. on a more positive note, here's one of the most beautiful picture ive seen in a long long tym: French mime Marcel Marceau, 80, performs during a show in Lima, May 8, 2004. Marceau is in Peru for a two days of presentation. -- Reuters good, good picture. then there's some more: A Russian child at a military parade Riders knock down a bull (me likes hunts/hunting -- lord of the flies kind;)...). here's a pet i'd like to have :> there's a story to go with it, chk it in may 11th's DT. or maybe ill put up a link. if i feel like it. yer never too young to vote. two lips summer's looking up... and my love for the two shall tear me apart. oh sherk and oh brad pitt! but what 'tis a girl to do? 'cept maybe swoon and faint ive been offered a job as a DJ.. WOO HOO!!! me's gonna be a dj! *dances 'lil jig* me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! me's gonna be a dj! umm. maybe. me's gonna be a dj! muhahahhaha my friend thynks its gonna be good for my attention-seeking personality :p she's just jealous. me's gonna be a dj!

it's been a crazy week, i've been working for 10 says straight now, with no breaks, and ive come to the point where i wish to do somethyng really really nasty to someone. anyone so deriving pleasure out of someone else's discomfort, i shall begin with thys. a la paris, ma chere? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: what do you get when you cross a jehova's witness with an atheist? A: someone who knocks at your door for no reason. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- plus, hopefully, the 'city-sized' asteroid that's supposed to pass-by earth thys fall shall actually fall on earth as it passes by. that would: a) prove the scientists wrong b) umm.. well there is no b. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i need to add a bunch of blogs on my list on the left, (go 6 O' clock from the shout box, two blocks down into blogsville). and then i need to put up a decent entry. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- beyond all that, life's good. except that Real are making real asses of themselves. muhaha. Barca and Real Madrid hand the title to Valencia Barcelona and Real Madrid as good as handed the Spanish title to Valencia when they both lost on Saturday. Barcelona went down 1-0 at Celta Vigo while Real Madrid lost 3-2 at home to perennial bogey team Real Mallorca. Valencia have a four-point advantage and if they win at Sevilla on Sunday, the UEFA Cup finalists will secure their second Spanish title in three years with two games left to play. -- AFP cant wait for the euro 2004 to start.

Ok folks, tym for world updates. here is a woman after my own heart. chocolate, i tell you, can cure all ills. chocolate-eater, i salute thee. and here is a nice piece on evolution :> if i was in New York city, id be going to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, where these mannequins are on display... as part of the "Dangerous Liaisons: Fashion and Furniture of the 18th Century" show. It runs through 08 August. i loved that movie thys is a very nice picture of the Greek goddess Athena, as she stands outside Athens' University, during the lunar eclipse on May 4. looking for some arabian nights, in russia? (The golden crosses of the Novodevichy Monastery in Moscow silhouetted against a full moon) Los Angeles Country lifeguard Mark Chambers looks toward the ocean after three sharks were sighted near the beach in California. Beach-goers, many of whom made for the beach to beat the 100 degree F temperatures inland, were not allowed in the water due to the shark sightings. i put up thys picture because it was just too cheezy to pass up. thys one is my favourite. thys is how great philosophers are born. thys is an ode to the thynkers. iqbal, aristotle, xeno... thys is a young man waiting for tourists on a nice spring morning in downtown Kiev, Ukraine. taken at a fair (a desi mela). now, coming back to reality, stuff ive been trying not to thynk about. US Army report finds troops guilty of abusing Iraqi prisoners. it includes a list of their crimes. the 18,000 word report can be read here. here's a link that can be pursued for followups. This has been Bush's response. he says, "abuse 'does not represent the America that I know'", adding the first tym he heard about the abuse was on tv. (from the president of the world's greatest economic power, you just cant but help expect more). he didnt know what his troops were doing until he saw it on fox? isnt thys the same guy who was cooking them turkey on thanksgiving? retard. washington post put up some pic of the abuse. honestly, i didnt have the guts to go thru them all. what happens next? rummy deary gets the rap. and thys is how the story ends.

childhood seems so long ago. maybe it's my 23rd birthday in less than two months that's freaking me out, or the realization that the clock is ticking. but i've caught me thynking abt me, career, education, tym, life, and the future a lot lately (in no particular order). they are all scary thoughts. when i was 18, 23 seemed far faaaar away. i remember deciding to build me a multi-billion dollar empire by the tym i was 23 (it's always about the money isn't it?). Had planned to conquer the world and practice mind control 1984 style. i had also decided having accomplished all that and more, in less than 5 years, i'd die b4 touching 24. (remember the live fast die young dogma?) *sigh* not only is age an issue with me, but i havent yet begun laying out the bricks of my kingdom. at (Almost) 23, ive become a cynical, bitter old spinster, toting a toy dog in a desperate plea for companionship. and i run a blog that documents the significant nothings. so in a fit of denial, ill go down memory lane and talk about conkers. whattagame! whattagame i tell ya! it was so long ago when i played conkers, i'd almost forgotten about them. back then, all i know about the game was... ummm... they were brown seeds from an oak-like tree, that stood in the middle of the school playground. research for thys post show they are "the inedible nutlike seeds of the horse chestnut" (ref: dictionary.com) ... yeah, yeah, whatever. so khair anyways, everyone had conkers tied with strings, and the purpose of the game was to crack the other's seed. that didnt happen too often with me, so i always just got away with hitting the opponent :) (instead of aiming for the conker, you aimed for their hands or face. *ouch*) here's how the game is actually supposed to be played. conkers was never considered a girl's game. we were supposed to sit on the sides and cheer 'the boys' on. or collect conker shells and "polish" them. that involved collecting the soft spiky skin and rubbing it furiously on concrete or brick surface, until it became like a furry hedgehog (umm...ignore analogy) that was when collecting furry or glittery stickers was ok, and so was listening to Kriss Kross. ah! the age of innocence. that was when taking white furry seals to school was cool, as was being a philatelic (that's collecting stamps, you moron). and you could spend hours at the science museum, and walk out in a daze. That, was a millenium ago. that was the 90s. coming back to life, recent surveys have shown my vocabulary to be shrinking. as of late, everythyng has become "cool", "awesome!" and when im REALLY excited, "way cool!". perhaps language skills come guaranteed for 22 years only. after that, no refund, no exchange. (or at least in my case). as a means of remembering big words i must begin using them in my posts. words like esoteric bohemia myopic words like supercalafrajelisticexpialidocious.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a Dog.

im such a traitor im a traitor, im a traitor, im a traitor. i gave away my dog yesterday, and i find me hating myself for it. coco was the most playful, smartest, hyper dog ive met, and i gave her away. i got the black lab when she was three months old. i brought her home in my car, she sat on the front seat, wagging her tail, sticking her tongue out, sneezing occasionally. it took me less then three days to teach her to sit, and lesser to get her to respond to her name. i gave her away because i felt guilty for not spending enough time with her. she needed her morning walks, she needed someone to play 'frisbee' and 'catch' and 'fetch' with her, and she needed someone to rub her ears. Between a full tym and a half tym job and a family that took up the remaining tym, i felt i was being unfair to thys voiceless creature who couldnt literally, ask for a glass of water. since no one else in my family is overly fond of dogs, they were all quick to point fingers and remind me, "she's your responsibility." plus both my brother and sister suffer from canine-phobia, so she had to be kept tied up, and was not allowed to run free. that's the part that bugged me most. she is a good strong pedigreed dog, and i felt she was being wasted. so i looked around for a good home, where she'd have some freedom, and a lot of love. my cousin came to me a couple of days ago, telling me his friend/neighbour was willing to take her. that guy came last evenin, put her in the back-seat (the princess wouldnt get in the boot) and they drove off. that was the last i'd thought i would see of her. later last night (well into the early morning), my folks and i went to my cousin's place to pick somethyng up (we are a bunch of night crawlers). all of us were sat in the car, and i thought i heard some mad barking, which was all very familiar "That's Coco!" i shouted, and jumped out of the car. at that point, the dog went calm. and then there i was, at two in the morning, walking down an unknown street, looking to see where my dog was. or at least what was once mine. five houses down from my cousin's place, a black nose was poking out from between iron gates, and there was my coco looking out for me, wondering if i had come to take her back. she didnt make a sound, i dont know if she was pleased to see me, or if she hated me for chucking her out, but i only did what i thought was the best for the dog. for one thyng, she was roaming free :) i had a half-eaten lollipop in my hand, so i gave her that, and she ran off, probably to bury it someplace safe, a treat for a rainy day. and then she came back and sat by the door and gave me yet another vacant stare. and then my mom called me back. ive told that kid she didnt like plain milk, or bread, or roti. the spoilt bitch (pun intended) only takes a specially prepared dish: one kg mince meat 2 cups rice 1 egg (with shell) 2 tbs olive oil cooked together in a stew form (NO SALT, NO WAY). my cuz told me he tried feeding her milk w/ roti, but she left most of it. and then he went out to get her dog food. heh. see, thats more than ive ever done. i know ive done the right thyng, then why does it feel so wrong? why do i feel like ive been robbed of my greatest love, and why do i feel like a traitor? and why on earth am i crying as i write thys? lol *throws tantrum 3-yr-old style* i want my coco back

dont seriously ever wish for anythyng -- you may seriously get more than you bargained for. thys post contains: - a new word ive learnt - a new kid ive corrupted - a new book ive edited/designed/formatted (in two days) - and the world's most expensive ice creams :P i must begin by putting down perhaps the most interesting and an absolutely useless word i've learnt: malheureusement it's french for unfortunately. and malheureusement, i dont know how to say it. anyways, so i met my editor's daughter a couple of days ago. She is around 2 years old, and just SO ADORABLE :) so while she was at the office, i taught her the 'high five' and the 'yo!' (sort of)... me: T, gimme five T : Yao! (she's getting there...) for the three hours the kid was at the office, she ran around, got in people's way, made a hellova racket, and by the tym she left, the senior editors had agreed on changing her name from T, to mine. (i take that as a compliment, she was adorable). and who wouldnt wanna share a name with a 2 year old? i 'm being at my humble best as i tell you thys, but my name means Exalted, Superior. it's thyngs like thys that keep my narcissism going *goes to sit high atop pedestal made of white gold* and then i've been busy. you know the part tym job i had? where all i had to do was sit in an airconditioned office, and have coffee? well, my Ed calls me up two days ago, to tell me: could you possibly get the catalogue ready by Friday? i need to take it with me to india? and i said: no man, it's impossible. but i'll try. and THAT was the worst thyng i could have said. Had i said, no... he wouldve taken my word for it. had i said yes, and had not completed it in tym, i wouldve gotten away with telling him i tried... the work was too much... and it WAS picture thys. 250 books, their reviews, titles, all to be laid out on A4 sheets. but by saying i'll try... i dont know where the last two days went. i was in the office for 13 hours straight, both days, and to quote him "accomplished in two days what... [he hasn't]... been able to -- in 10 years" im proud of myself. seeing those 74 pages come out in print was like ... WOO HOO!! i DID albeit, tell him he was a slave-driver... which he obviously took as a compliment. on another high, i had my first haagen-dazs. and believe it or not, my brother almost threw the wrapper and the box away. it took a lot of talking to convince him that was trophy stuff, and must be placed in the drawing-room right next to the crystal and Blue Delft. *rolls eyes* WHEN will the men ever learn? the whole experience reminded me of saudi, where i allegedly had Baskin Robbins worth 400 Riyals. Lay-off man, what a lie. you can buy A LOT of BR for that, and i refuse to believe i finished it all without any help. the point being. yeah, BR, or HD may be good... like once in pakistan, everyone went kookoo over Movenpick, including yours truly, but really... paying twice or thrice of what the ice cream is worth, is really not fair. for the same price, id much rather eat at the hot spot, where they are always putting up the COOLEST movie posters. their OREO n MnM sundae is absolutely GORGEOUS... YaO! *melts* im gonna go all thys ice cream talk isnt good for me. and there abez is talking about losing weight. hmph :/